How to meet women in Vietnam?

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: chairs and hairs, posted by Jeff S on Oct 3, 2002

Yes, I'm still keeping those hairs- if I can get a match. )

One is dark curly, the other is straight blonde.  I think next is brown )

Sally

[Jay]

... in response to Re:.......SALLY, posted by Jimbo on Oct 3, 2002

Hi Sally,

How short is the dark curly one?? ;-)

I'll stop..
Jay

[jon]

... in response to chairs and hairs, posted by Jimbo on Oct 2, 2002

Sigh, I'm jealous.

Jon

[Dave H]

... in response to chairs and hairs, posted by Jimbo on Oct 2, 2002

Hey Hair Magnet AKA Jimbo,

ROFCOPOML!!! (Choking On Pieces Of My Lungs)

Spray some anti-static spray on your wool sport jackets (I've had experience). ;o) I'll try to get my wife to reveal where Sally is storing the cataloged hair. Probably with the NBI or Interpol. )))

Dave H.

[NOX1967]

... in response to Right Steve, pretty, posted by Jimbo on Oct 2, 2002

So what must be done is to weed out the "petty jealous" and keep the "pretty jealous" ones.

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Right Steve, pretty, posted by NOX1967 on Oct 2, 2002

I'm glad we got that figured out |

Mr. Jimbangles

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: How to meet women in Vietnam?, posted by Hamlet on Oct 1, 2002

Hi Hamlet,

You are thinking of "demanding" that she marry you? I don't think that would be a good idea. Sounds like a situation that you would be better off to stay out of.

Ray

[Jeff S]

... in response to Forget it, posted by Ray on Oct 1, 2002

Hamlet - don't underestimate the power of obligation in Asian cultures. Following your heart or feelings is a Western concept, not one that most Asian people feel is very high up the totem pole. Very likely there is very little you can do at this late date to change the outcome.

- Jeff

[Hamlet]

... in response to Right!, posted by Jeff S on Oct 1, 2002

Jeff,

Thanks for the advice.  I respect your opinion and this squares with Japanese culture, which I know well having lived there recently for two years.

I guess the reason I thought the bold approach might work is that she seemed to be asking for me to "rescue" her:
1.  THe only complement she paid her fiance is that he is kind to her; she admitted she likes me much more in most/all other respects.
2.  SHE called ME, I did not call her last night to discuss all this.
3.  She gave me great detail about the date they will obtain the marriage license in Saigon which she explained is required for her to get her business visa to come here (which I don't understand).

Hamlet

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Right!, posted by Hamlet on Oct 1, 2002

I'm on your side. She didn't divulge all that for nothing. What are you stil doing here? Shouldn't you be checking expedia, travelocity etc?

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Right!, posted by Hamlet on Oct 1, 2002

Rescue a damsel in distress, and all you end up with is a distressed damsel.

-- Jeff

PS Where'd you live in Japan?

[Hamlet]

... in response to As Dr. Laura says...., posted by Jeff S on Oct 1, 2002

I studied language, history, politics, history and culture for two years at a university program in Tokyo from 92-94 in an effort to go international but just then Japan went bust.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Right!, posted by Hamlet on Oct 1, 2002

Hamlet,

Please correct me if I misunderstood your story.

You have a novia in Latin America.
You were recently engaged to marry a Cubana.
You are “in love” with a Vietnamese woman that you have never met in person.
The Vietnamese woman is engaged to be married in two weeks.
You are considering going to Vietnam to break up her relationship and “demand” that she marry you.

This all sounds like a soap opera to me. Are you sure that you’re not living in a fantasy world? The reason I ask is because you sound like you are unsure of where you are going at this stage of your life. I guess it’s a nice feeling to have a lot of women from around the world interested in you, but are you absolutely positive that you really want to marry a woman that you have never met? Are you willing to possibly ruin her chances for a future if you fly over there and then realize that she isn’t really what you are looking for? Are you even sure of what you are looking for? Wake up man!

Why not give some serious thought to what you want and where you are going, and then start all over with a new plan? And please try not to get involved with a woman who is willing to marry you before you meet in person, for both of your sakes.

I wish you luck,

Ray

[Hamlet]

... in response to Some Questions, posted by Ray on Oct 1, 2002

Ray,

I appreciate your interest and suggestions, but love and relationships aren't always neat and orderly.  Choosing among two women isn't like drawing an architectural plan or shopping for a healthy and nutritious meal.  Emotions cannot always be understood rationally.

You can use the brief information with which I have provided this forum and suggest that I am foolish because I am having a romantic dilemma, but that really isn't fair.

Again, I appreciate your suggestions and believe that you do wish me well.

Hamlet

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Some Questions, posted by Hamlet on Oct 1, 2002

Hi Hamlet,

Yes, it is hard to make meaningful suggestions for someone else’s love life with the brief information that we get on a forum like this. I didn’t mean to imply that you were foolish and no flames were intended.

I agree that emotions are not always rational, especially when it comes to love. I was only trying to give you some things to think about. I believe that it is always prudent to at least try to think rationally when making a life-long decision to marry someone. If it’s true that you have never met the Vietnamese lady in person, don’t you think that it’s a good idea to at least meet and spend some time together before you make such an important decision that will affect both of you for the rest of your lives? The problem as I see it is that she doesn’t have time to get to know you better now because she has already made a commitment to someone else. Perhaps she is having second thoughts and is looking for a way out of her upcoming wedding. Maybe she would like for you to make a commitment to marry her right now so she can dump the other guy. Are you ready to make that commitment? If not, then I think it would be unfair to her to encourage her to back out of her marriage on the hope that you will come and rescue her. Maybe it’s better to let her make her decision based on her love and devotion to her fiancé, without you in the picture.

When these stories like yours come up here, we offer our free advice and express our opinions, but I don’t really expect you to take everything we say too seriously, because as you implied, we don’t have all the facts. You seemed to be asking for help, so I responded. Again, if the advice you read here gets you to think a little, then maybe it was worth something. But it’s still your responsibility and your decision to make, right?

What is your status with your Latin novia? Is there anything serious there? If you do decide to jump on that plane for Vietnam, are you going to tell your other novia that you decided to marry someone else? Or would you wait until you make the trip to Vietnam, just in case things don’t work out over there? Just curious how you would handle the situation with the other woman.

And yes, I really do wish you well…

Ray