How to meet women in Vietnam?

[Hamlet]

I am thinking about going to Saigon in January.  Are there any veterans who can tell me how to meet women in Vietnam other than through web agencies?

One idea I have is to hang out at a university where English is taught.  Another idea is to place an ad in a newspaper or other periodical.

I am open to all suggestions.

Hamlet

[Jeff S]

... in response to How to meet women in Vietnam?, posted by Hamlet on Sep 30, 2002

Hi Hamlet. Over from the Latin board, I see. Mal is our resident expert on Viet Nam. As he said, introductions are the key. We did a survey a while back and half of the married or engaged members of this board met their significant other by being introduced by friends of relatives. It's not infallable (as Lori will attest) but probably safer than casting a net in unfamiliar waters. I've been offered introductions to cousins, sisters, etc. many times when practicing my Asian languages in resuraunts, parties, etc. Get involved with the Vietnamese community - learn a dozen words of Vietnamese, some politenesses of the culture, and a bit of history and try them out in the Vietnamese community here. You'll be amazed at the response. (Don't just try them on women. Find some 50ish men to have a few beers with and tell them you'd like to find a nice Vietnamese girl to settle down with - THey have nieces too.) Just a few thoughts.

-- Jeff

[madmal]

... in response to How to meet women in Vietnam?, posted by Hamlet on Sep 30, 2002

Hamlet,
Are you planning on travelling around a bit?
By all means arrive in Saigon and spend some time there but be very wary of the ladies you might meet.
Universities are a good idea...they all teach english.
I would use your trip to see a bit of Vietnam and it's culture, meet a few girls (you won't need to try very hard)
And return to your home and start writing to them.
Internet cafe's are a good place to start....but ignore the groups of young girls crowded around a computer.

In Saigon you should be careful of the girls around Pham Ngu Lao, De Tham, Bui Vien area. The look very sweet, but most are prostitutes and have had many foreign boyfriends.
Instant red-flag material

I found that I always meet lots of girls that are waitressing in restaurants. In the larger towns they will often be Uni students with reasonable english (they read and write well, but don't have the conversational skills to match).
I found that ladies were always trying to introduce me to their sister or cousin.  
As I said you won't need to look very hard, they will find you.
Just be wary in Saigon, in my opinion it's a risky place to look. Maybe if you get out of the usual tourist precincts you will meet some 'nice' girls.

Mal

[Hamlet]

... in response to Re: How to meet women in Vietnam?, posted by madmal on Oct 1, 2002

Thanks to you and Jeff for the great advice.  

I do have a novia in Latin America but I am uncertain about our future.  BEFORE I met the Latina I had developed an email and phone relationship with a Vietnamese woman.   We emailed 1-4 times a day for 15 months and also spoke several times on the phone.  She was depressed when I went to Latin America last winter to meet the various women I had been writing to and disconsolate when I told her I was going to marry a Cubana and not her.

We kept up our communication, and when trouble developed in my relationship with the Cubana I fostered thoughts of going to Vietnam and meeting this woman in person.  I realized that I loved her.

But, I was too late.  She just informed me that she will marry another American in two weeks and the main reason she is marrying him is to forget about me because I have broken her heart.

So now it is my turn to be disconsolate.  Meanwhile, now that I know how wonderful Vietnamese women are, I am thinking about going to Vietnam to meet others.

By the way, she called me last night and we had a difficult conversation in which she stifled tears and discussed what could have been between us.  She told me that since she has agreed to marry this man she cannot go back on her word.  But knowing Vietnamese culture, do you think there is any chance if I showed up in Saigon now and demanded that she marry me she might do it?   By the way, "he" is there, too, and the date for getting the marriage license is October 16.

Hamlet

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: How to meet women in Vietnam?, posted by Hamlet on Oct 1, 2002

I'm new here but from what you say, I would HOP ON A PLANE ASAP & WIN HER OVER. We all make mistakes but I'm sure THAT would speak volumes. You only live once man, why sit around thinking about "what could have been". Just my 2 cents.

[Ray]

... in response to If it's worth having it's worth fighting..., posted by Frank O on Oct 1, 2002

The one going to Latin America or the one going to Vietnam? Or perhaps the one going to Cuba?

Assuming that you're talking about the lady in Vietnam, how should he win her over? Should he show up at the wedding ceremony and kidnap her, like they do in the movies? Or maybe they could fight a duel with pistols at 30 paces? Or just a simple fist fight in the middle of the street?

Help this guy devise a plan. He only has two weeks left before she is married... :-)

Ray

[Frank O]

... in response to Which plane?, posted by Ray on Oct 1, 2002

I guess in my hurry (I was on break at work) I misunderstood his current stance. I assumed when her referred to his "novia" he meant the Cuban or "former Novia" LOL!!! In that case that does change things CONSIDERABLY. Unlike many men here who travel to other countries to see 10-15 sometimes 20+ girls they have been corresponding with I only write one. I narrowe them down to 2 & I was HAVING REAL TOUGH TIMES having to decided which one to focus on & visit. I guess Hamlet should have done what I did. I know there are differing points of view. Those who favor writing several & weed them out in person or those like me who perhaps put all their eggs in one basket. I hope I'm right but I just can't see myself writing several girls. Like I said I've done that but I feel like I'm "cheating".
BUT having said this if the situation was like I THOUGHT it was I WOULD BE on a plane to Vietnam to see this girl. AND NO I would NOT be forcing her to make a decision, I would just let her know what she was missing was the best thing that ever happened to her.

[NOX1967]

... in response to Re: Which plane?, posted by Frank O on Oct 2, 2002

I have started communicating with several ladies in the Philippines. From about 10 I've quickly worked down to three right now that I want to continue communication with.

I simply have told them that I am talking to others until I am sure I have met the right one for me. This seems to work fine.

Just my personal opinion, but it's better to weed out petty jealous ones early, and it is always better to just be honest. Any secret you keep to today can become the ghost that haunts you tomorrow.

Ron

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: Which plane?, posted by NOX1967 on Oct 2, 2002

I agree with you on that. I did the same thing. I dumped a lot of them early on. Some got put off by my approach which is fine by me because we would obviously not have worke out. Life is too short. weed out the ones that aren't going to work & don't TRY to make something that isn't there APPEAR there because you "are in love".

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Re: Which plane?, posted by NOX1967 on Oct 2, 2002

[This message has been edited by Jimbo]

I agree Ron,

I had four penpals and visited three.  But when it comes to Filipinas, if you weed out the "pretty jealous ones" you're likely to weed out them all!

"Now the seats, are all empty"

Jim --happy to have married a pretty jealous one :-)

[SteveG]

... in response to The weed out, posted by Jimbo on Oct 2, 2002

Jimbo,  
 Just trying to save your life there ol' buddy.  Wouldn't want Sally ta hurt ya for a perceived insult!  
                                             SteveG

[Jimbo]

... in response to You meant the "PRETTY jealous"..., posted by SteveG on Oct 2, 2002

Thanks, I'll have to edit that post :oO

That's just my experience, before and after marriage.  When Sally spys a long dark hair of a different color on my jacket, she starts the inquisition.  I tell her (truthfully) that it must be from a chair in work or something.  She shrugs her shoulders and says "Well, who knows?"  -LOL!

Jim

[Jay]

... in response to Right Steve, pretty, posted by Jimbo on Oct 2, 2002

Hi Jim,

A chair at work?? LOL! Where do you work? A hair salon? That sounds pretty flimsy to me, but I believe ya!  I know you wouldn't stray. I hope Sally does too. :-)

Jay

[Jimbo]

... in response to Re: Right Steve, pretty, posted by Jay on Oct 2, 2002

Hi Jay,

My company has conference rooms with fabric chairs and the offices have guest chairs too.  It's a typical Dilbert place with people going around having meetings all the time.  With a wool sports jacket it's pretty easy to pick up a hair.

She's also found a long blonde hair on me.  You should see her perform the examination:  she holds it up to the light to determine the highlights, lets it dangle freely to see how wavy or straight it might be, figures the length, and gives it the sniff test.  After that I don't know - maybe she tags it and files it away somewhere -LOL!

I've got to get her to stop watching that CSI show...

Jim "hair magnet" bo

[Jeff S]

... in response to chairs and hairs, posted by Jimbo on Oct 2, 2002

It's probably bagged & tagged along with reference material including your clothes at the time, your excuse (verbatum of course) a list of scent corresponding shampoos, conditioners, hairsprays, and perfumes, details about whether the original owner changed the color, was a smoker or not, and a few dozen details I'm not clever enough to come up with.

- Jeff