hello

[MsDuong]

I still have not heard from Thai. Finally, I called his brothers house today and left a message on the machine that if I did not recieve a call tonight, that first thing tomorrow morning I was going to the INS to turn Thai and his family in for fraud.

I don't know if this was the right thing to do. What do  I do, go banging on the INS doors and just tell them the whole story, or what? Is there some type of procedure I need to go through? help!!

[Bob S]

... in response to hello, posted by MsDuong on Sep 15, 2002

"I called his brothers house today ...if I did not recieve a call tonight, that first thing tomorrow morning I was going to the INS..."

Pardon my frankness, but
dumb dumb dumb!
You are obviously dealing with a family for whom decency, civility, and legality are unimportant.  By making threats against their clan and their livelihood, you may have made yourself a target.  You do NOT want them setting their Asian-gang freinds on you or your family.  They can make you disappear, then Thai can file for adjustment on his own claiming you abandoned him.

If you are determined to go thru a divorce and make it ugly, then he becomes the enemy.  You should have no further personal communication with any of them except thru a lawyer no matter how tempting it may be to rub his nose in it.  I know it is shocking to expect an AW to shut the heck up, but that is exacly what you have to do, or they might cause nasty things to happen to your children.  You definitely need to notify the INS that you are no longer sponsoring him, but for Gawd's sake don't tell Thai's family what you are doing!  Just do what has to be done and do it quietly.

I was able to keep things civil when I booted out my ex-RW because I made no overt threats against her legal status. (Of course, she doesn't know about the little letter I sent to the INS after things were final ratting her out and a few of her coniving friends with questionable legal status here. (-; )

[MsDuong]

... in response to UNWISE!, posted by Bob S on Sep 16, 2002

I'll sit here like a good AW.

Is your ex-rw still here?

[Bob S]

... in response to i know I know, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

"I'll sit here like a good AW."

Well, don't really just sit and do nothing.  As far as Thai's family thinks, you are nice, quiet, submissive, and taking it like a good little hausfrau.  But like Tim & Stephen said, your are really quietly sharpening your blade.  Then give it to the INS.  They are better equipped to do the dirty work. (-;

"Is your ex-rw still here?"

Yeah, she's lost somewhere in Orange County, coughing up big fees she can ill afford to an immigration lawyer in hopes of avoiding getting booted out.  She fell in with the wrong crowd that proceeded to use, abuse, and cheat her the way she did to me.  What comes around goes around, eh?  She had to do a lot of growning up in the past year (and has a lot more to go).
Time has allowed a scar to grow over that wound.  So it doesn't hurt as much now as I'm sure your fresh wound does, but it is still embarassingly ugly. Right?  Still, I have something of a forgiving nature.  If she grows out of this rebellious selfish untrustworthy teenager phase, I wouldn't begrudge her a chance at becoming a responsible law-abiding legal resident.  But she would have to put aside a lot of bad cut-throat opportunist habits before that happens.

[Tim]

... in response to UNWISE!, posted by Bob S on Sep 16, 2002

...and I was worried my reply below would scare her !

But you definitely outlined the strategy I would follow. Her phonecalls to them could be claimed as "harassment", further evidence of an abusive nature. She needs to take the quiet, get-the-job-done-and-move-on-with-my-life approach.

Regards, Tim

[Stephen]

... in response to Wise Advice..., posted by Tim on Sep 16, 2002

Just quietly do what you can to cut his throat.

It takes a lot of energy to be angry.  You need to use that energy to get on with your life.

Quietly do what you have to.  Don't make a big vocal production out of it.  No wild threats.  Just quietly cut his throat.

Stephen

[Ray]

... in response to hello, posted by MsDuong on Sep 15, 2002

Hi Lori!

No, there is no set procedure or “Green Card Shark” form to fill out. You can’t walk into the local INS office and file a deportation order. If you really wanted to report him to the INS for fraud, you would need some real hard evidence. If you tell them the story like you told it here, then they would most likely just take it as another marriage that didn’t work out. If he had taken off immediately after passing through immigration, then maybe they would take it more seriously.

Right now, there probably isn’t much you can do. You could write a letter to the office that is processing the AOS and tell them that you want to withdraw the application, but he can still file on his own. If they don’t have any hard evidence that he intended to commit fraud all along, then they just may adjust his status and let him stay here.

If you want, you can phone the local INS office and ask to speak to an immigration officer, not the gal who answers the phones. Tell him the story and ask what your options are at this point in time.

Another option would be to play it cool and wait for the appointment letter for the AOS interview. Don’t tell your husband or anyone else when you receive the appointment. Just show up by yourself at the interview time and explain to them that you are not living together as husband and wife. I’m pretty sure that they will deny his petition on the spot and then he will be out of status. What the INS does about it is up to them, not you.

If he were to hire an immigration Stephen (OOPS! I mean lawyer), then he may be able to stay as a permanent resident, regardless of what you tell the INS. I guess if you really wanted to screw him over, you should try to get something from him in writing that says he never intended to stay with you and only wanted the visa. If that was his plan all along, then you may be able to trick him into confessing in front of a witness. BUT, without any “hard” evidence of premeditated fraud, I don’t think that there is much that you can do.

My advice would be to divorce him if that’s what you really want and get on with your life. Concentrate on those girls of yours because they need your full attention. Don’t spend the rest of your life filled with hatred like some others here are doing. They don’t seem to be very happy and I don’t think you would be either.

Just some thoughts,

Ray

[Tim]

... in response to Some thoughts..., posted by Ray on Sep 15, 2002

Actually, according to reports at alt.visa.us.marriage-based, if Lori divorces him now he is in trouble (as far as remaining legally in the USA). This is because he has not had the AOS interview yet. Because he's adjusting from a K-1 visa, he can't just file by himself after the divorce is final UNLESS he can claim spousal abuse on her part. If he can prove abuse then he is allowed to adjust status by himself, and remain here.

(Note: this scenario is different from Howard's, in which his wife had already successfully completed her AOS interview when the divorce occured. In that case, she could just file to remove the conditions on her green card by herself, without any special proof.)

As far as I can tell from researching, all Lori can do is inform the INS that she is withdrawing her I-864 Affidavit of Support for his adjustment, due to divorce. This will effectively destroy his ability to complete the AOS because 1) he will no longer have the only sponsor allowed for adjusting from his specific visa type, and 2) she would not accompany him when the AOS interview date came up anyway.

It seems his only real recourse if he wants to remain legally is to play the 'abuse' card. IMHO, he'll need a lawyer to do it. Lori needs to be aware of this possibility and watch what she does and says.

Of course, he can always go underground and just remain here illegally. Many folks do that. Although after 9/11 it's alot more risky than it used to be.

Bear in mind I am not an attorney, I'm just passing on what I researched.

Regards, Tim

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Some thoughts..., posted by Tim on Sep 16, 2002

I think you are correct Tim. But my point was that if he were to hire a sharp immigration attorney, there are all kinds of options available to him to avoid or at least delay deportation. For example, he could file for asylum. As far as him claiming battered spouse status, I doubt that would fly (LOL).

I was mainly trying to explain to Lori that she doesn’t decide if he will be deported or not. That is up to the INS and the immigration courts.  All she can do is report the facts to the INS and then they will ultimately determine what they are going to do with him. She can withdraw from the process of petitioning him and leave him on his own, but she can’t drag him down to the airport and force him onto a plane leaving the country, though that would be nice if that option was available. But that would probably give him grounds for claiming battered spouse status :-)

It’s easy to tell Lori to deport his azz, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. I still think she should attempt to speak to an immigration officer and find out exactly what she can or can’t do, just to put her mind at ease.

Ray

[Tim]

... in response to Re: Re: Some thoughts..., posted by Ray on Sep 16, 2002

nt

[MsDuong]

... in response to Re: Some thoughts..., posted by Tim on Sep 16, 2002

How in the heckles can he claim abuse??? What a slap in the face that would be for me.

I am REALLY starting to get angry, because it looks more and more like he was just waiting for me to say go. Right now I feel like I hate him and his whole sneaky coniving family. They won't even answer my calls. I don't know who in the he11 they think they are.

[Tim]

... in response to A-B-U-S-E?, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

Lori, please wake up and smell the coffee. You have taken the step into that Abyss called Divorce. I know you (like all of us) try to blot the memory of prior Ds from your mind, but you now need to dredge up some of the saavy you learned.

Anything is possible now. For example, did you not tell him to leave your home ? He can take this to a lawyer who can warp it into something like "she treated him so badly that he could only stay with her 3 weeks during their 6 month marriage, and finally she kicked him out of the house".

I am not trying to scare you. But I agree with Ray that things could get nasty now. You need to brace yourself in case it does.

Good luck,

Tim

[Ray]

... in response to A-B-U-S-E?, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

Whatever you do, don't let him trick you into punching his lights out. Then he Could claim abuse... :-)

Ray

[Humabdos]

... in response to Re: Some thoughts..., posted by Tim on Sep 16, 2002

Lori don't let that SOB slip through the cracks! NAIL THE PUNK! You broght him here now do your part and let the INS know whats going on Make sure you tell them you have only spent three weeks together in six months and that he is living with his brother now. I think Ray gave you very bad advice this time. I don't think he can stay thats what the AOS is for! DEPORT THE BASS TURD!

Hum

[kevin]

... in response to Thats what I thought Tim Good  advice, posted by Humabdos on Sep 16, 2002


BASS TURD and most importantly the TAPEWORM it's hanging on to.  That's what Thai and his family are; tapeworms destroying the host from within.

I'm sorry I had to say this.  Humabdos struck a chord of irony when he referred to Thai as a "bass turd".  I'll always remember fishing in Canada, after catching large-mouth bass, and putting the catch in a backet, the bass wpiuld suffocate and die.  When the bass would die, they'd crap, and typically there would be a tapeworm dangling out.

- Kevin