got some info

[MsDuong]

Well I did check into leagal aid. But they don't do divorces unless you have been abused. I did talk to a few lawyers and they said it would be best to get an anullment. THE ONLY WAY you can get an annulment of marrage is by proving fraud. I think this is the best way to go. I have to have $120 to gety that started. So maybe next month I can do that. I think that will look ok for the INS.

ok, so now I just sit back and wait. Meanwhile he is finally earning some money and giving it all to his brother while I sit here and can hardly scrape enough money to eat. I guess he is probably going to file divorce and find a vietnamese american to marry. If he does this by the oas date, he might be able to continue. Or he can try to prove abuse. Or that it would be a hardship for him to return to his country. Which I think will be kind of hard since there is no war there or whatever.

Anyway, I have to write the INS a letter with all the info on why I am withdrawing my case. FUN FUN!!

I still feel like an idiot. I used to think the guys on here were not too bright to let this kind of thing happen to them. ANYONE can be fooled. I think I'll stick around the board just to give support to those it happens to in the future. The thing that sucks is that it WILL happen to one of you here. I think that is probably what the odds are.

[Mita]

... in response to got some info, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

Does the soon-to be ex-hubby read or know about this website?

[Jimbo]

... in response to got some info, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

Lori,

If he attempts to file an AOS on his own, he's going to have to show evidence that he "entered in the marriage in good faith and not to avoid the immigration laws of the United States."  A big part of that evidence is showing proof that he lived with his spouse in the same place.  You should make sure he doesn't get ahold of any proof of that for the few weeks he lived with you.  Also make sure you keep any evidence you have that shows all the time he WAS NOT living with you.  If you prepare now you'll stand a much better chance of nailing him later.
I'm glad you're sticking around,

Jim

[Carr]

... in response to got some info, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

I re-registered to show my full support (thanks Patric). I'm sorry for what happened.  But I'm glad you haven't lost your sense of humor.  I laughed at your MsDumbazz handle. LOL!

Just to reiterate what everyone already said, don't tell them what you will do in the future.  Keep them in dark as much as possible and if Thai or his family make an effort to contact you--tell them to contact your lawyer and that you are documenting their call.  I'm pretty sure they are plotting their next action and one of them may be persuading Thai to come home to you. Just remember where your heart is and keep your resolve. Document everything, time and date each event. I also want to remind you that losing face is the worst thing that can happen to an Asian.  Thai being deported will be the talk of their neighbors for years to come.  I'm sure they don't want that to happen. And the INS deporting Thai will hurt them.

Public defenders in your state may be able to help you.  Go to them now and tell them your financial state.  Time is on your side, act quickly.  

Hang in there, Lori. I think about you all the time and I lurk here all the time because of you.

[jon]

... in response to Hi Lori, posted by Carr on Sep 16, 2002

[Peaches]

... in response to Hi Lori, posted by Carr on Sep 16, 2002

Welcome back. Miss u in this board.

peaches

[Humabdos]

... in response to Hi Lori, posted by Carr on Sep 16, 2002

n/t

[Tim]

... in response to got some info, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

Lori, let me share some more legal stuff with you.

Once you two are divorced he CANNOT just marry another US citizen and re-file his AOS with the new spouse as his sponsor. A K-1 immigrant MUST file AOS with their ORIGINAL sponsor. Their status is ONLY adjustable this way. The only exceptions are for special circumstances (read below). This is a loophole that was closed some years back to cut down on fraud and deception.

His options are limited, that's why you need to worry about an abuse claim. I agree with you that the hardship claim would be hard to pull off, but if his family is willing to hire a good lawyer then it might be possible.

You want my personal opinion ? I think there are only about three viable options for him. He will either 1) attempt to reconcile with you, to keep his INS ducks in a row, or 2) hire a lawyer and claim abuse, so he can adjust status legally without you, or 3) he will just disappear into the underground community of illegals, probably trying to get lost in a large concentration of them, like cities on the west or east coast.

Good luck, Tim

[Stephen]

... in response to got some info, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

Yep....we like to think "That will never happen to me"....but we're all just human.

IT CAN HAPPEN TO US.

Now a question:  Are you going to change your user name here at PL?  How about using MsLori or something?

Stephen & Tess

[MsDuong]

... in response to Question:, posted by Stephen on Sep 16, 2002

Maybe I'll just change it to MsDumbazz

[Patrick]

... in response to Re: Question:, posted by MsDuong on Sep 16, 2002

Though I don't think MsDumazz is a good choice.  How about using Lori again?

Your's is not the only story of failure in the forums.  You're one of several that's come up over the years, several of which are fairly recent.  There is no doubt some element of luck in picking the right person with limited time spent with them and their families.  Best of luck with this and hang in there.