... in response to Bi Cultural Weddings, posted by alumnagirl on Sep 17, 2002It's common in Japan to have a Christian service (even though less than 5% of Japanese are Christian) held in western clothes (tux and white wedding dress) along with a Shinto service where the bride and groom change into kimonos and the priest casts out demons and performs the chanted Shinto ceremony. Usually these extravaganzas are outrageously expensive. That's why lots of Japanese just ship the whole family to Hawaii and have a simple Western ceremony - it's cheaper and more fun for the families.
In my own case I had a strictly Shinto ceremony dressed in a kimono. A female Shinto priestess, performed the service and it was culminated by the symbolic sipping of sake - three sips and you're hitched. It did not require that I say or promise anything. My wife's family had to go to a special shop in Tokyo frequented by sumo wrestlers to find a kimono big enough for me and I'm guessing it was not cheap. It was my first marriage but my wife's second. Her first was held Western style at a Christian church in Yokohama, while ours was at her family's house.
Unless you're devoutly religious where your faith prescribes a specific ritual, whatever makes you happy should be your guide. I'd say the vast majority of men really don't care. If they had an input at all, it would probably be to suggest getting married barefoot on the beach in shorts and aloha shirt. It's generally the brides who have a fantasy agenda they're hoping to recreate. I've seen this become a stressful, aggravating experience as often as it seems to fulfill the hoped for, "Prince Charming spirits her away," romantic fantasy. Just remember, Murphy's law applies to social events just as much as business situations.
- Jeff S.
