Got the Alien #!!!

[Lori]

... in response to Well, Tim,, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

I don't understand why the government would make it so hard to marry an alien and then make it so hard to deport them when they are found out. Why would this supervisor personally take on this case? He even gave me his personal e-mail.I am supposed to stay in touch with him weekly.

You know, I am really trying hard not to become bitter. And I wish I could look through your rose colored glasses, Tim, and believe this man REALLY loved me. If I could believe that then it would be alot easier to go on. I don't even know who I am anymore.
I don't feel like I can even go around my family anymore. They all had doubts about everything. At our wedding reception, one Aunt was overheard saying, "They don't even look like they belong together". Now I have to face her someday. What am I supposed to do at christmas when everyone comes together. I am sooo freakin' ashamed that I don't feel like I can go.

Yes, yes, I know, I brought this on myself. Everyone here knows they are taking a risk. I should have seen the red flags. I should have known more about thier culture. Shoulda, woulda, coulda....blah blah blah.

[Jay]

... in response to honestly, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

Hi Lori,

Carr is right. This is not your fault. I think you did everything right, it just went wrong. Nevermind looking at it in hindsight. We all read your post's. You weren't stupid about it. I believe any one of us could have been taken in by a family like that, under the right circumstances.

As for the relatives, well, I remember my grandmother saying, "why don't you marry one of your own kind"? She's old NY Irish. I'm sure up in Council Bluffs, anyone would think an AW marrying a Vietnamese guy like you did, is a nutty thing. Not puting down Iowa or NY Irish, but these marriages are really strange to alot of white folk's. All you can do is hold your head high and don't regret. Easier said than done, I know, but you really have nothing to be ashamed of.

I admire the way you are trying to hold it together. Please continue. It may not be much, but at least you know there are others who understand. Us here at PL have all gone through people saying we are foolish to marry forigner's. If this were 10 years ago (no internet), it would be you all alone. Not much help, I know, but I hope it help's a bit.

BTW, I tried to trace that phone #. It is either unlisted or wrong. Best not to give out his number on the web, anyway. They could claim harrasment.

My inadaquet(sp?) two cents worth :-)
Jay

[Lori]

... in response to Re: honestly, posted by Jay on Sep 21, 2002

n/t menas no topic, silly!!

[Jay]

... in response to you must have dialed wrong---n/t, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

LOL! Actually, I tried to trace it on the internet with reverse phone. After I posted that, I DID call it. I got a recording of a American womans answering machine. :-) No, I didn't leave a message. I'll be nice.

Jay

[Lori]

... in response to Re: you must have dialed wrong---n/t, posted by Jay on Sep 21, 2002

Yeah, they have always had that. I think they may have been a target of racism at some time.

[Ray]

... in response to you must have dialed wrong---n/t, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

"n/t" means "no text"

Silly! :-)

[Lori]

... in response to I disagree!, posted by Ray on Sep 21, 2002

Can you believe me when I say, "That's what I ment"?

[Ray]

... in response to Re: I  agree , posted by Lori on Sep 22, 2002

Just razzing you Lori, to help take your mind off of your "problem" :-)

Hey Lori, you said you were planning to travel in the future when things settle down. That's a great idea! Have you considered going to the Philippines for a vacation? The weather is hot and humid like Nam, but the beaches are fantastic and the people are friendly. After you pay the airfare, everything else is pretty darn cheap. You can still get a cottage on a remote beach for 3 or 4 dollars a day.

Ray

[Jay]

... in response to I disagree!, posted by Ray on Sep 21, 2002

I always thought it meant "no t!t's" ;=)

[Carr]

... in response to honestly, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

You didn't bring this to yourself, Thai did.  You went to Vietnam with the purest of intent.  His family is already plotting their fraud.  No Lori, you are not at fault here.  You are the victim.

Someday (and I hope very soon), these people will reap what they've sown.

[Jeff S]

... in response to honestly, posted by Lori on Sep 21, 2002

Hold your head up high. I serious doubt anyone in your family will say "nya nya nya nya - told you so.." They're probably relieved that it came out sooner rather than later. I'll bet, most said what they did, not to be cruel, but rather in genuine concern for you. In fact, I'll bet most will tell you they're so sorry it didn't work out for you. Don't feel shame - you didn't do anything wrong. Lack of psychic powers should not be a cause for embarrassment.

You know, when many old people are asked whet they'd do differently of they had it all to do over again, most say that they played their lives too safe. They wish they'd have taken more chances. Well, when you're in your rocking chair with purple hair entertaining your great grand kids, you can tell them about how back in ought two you took a chance and went halfway around the world...

-- Jeff

[HappyInBrazil]

... in response to The Underground Option...Be Prepared for..., posted by Tim on Sep 20, 2002

I understand that the local police don't handle the deportation, but couldn't they take him into custody?

[Tim]

... in response to What about the local police?, posted by HappyInBrazil on Sep 20, 2002

In most places, the local cops will not arrest illegals unless they suspect them of a crime. They don't want to establish the precedent of being "immigration police", for a whole lot of reasons, most of which are good. For example, if they started doing this, illegals would report even fewer "real" crimes than they do now, out of fear of being picked up themselves. Another reason is that the local cops don't want to do (and shouldn't have to) a job that really belongs to a federal agency.

This whole issue is a current debate in many communities.

Regards, Tim

[Ray]

... in response to No...unless they suspected him of a real..., posted by Tim on Sep 21, 2002

Tim,

I hate to break the news to you, but being in the country illegally IS a "real crime".

When you say that local cops don’t want to get involved with illegal aliens, that doesn’t fit the situation here in San Diego. They didn’t go around looking for them, but when local police came across obvious illegal aliens during the course of conducting their business, they would routinely make a courtesy call to the Border Patrol who would come by and pick them up. After a few loud mouthed “community activists” complained about it, the police chief started a new policy of not notifying the Border Patrol. The cops on the beat were not very happy about it and neither was I.

Illegals SHOULD live in fear of being picked up and deported. But of course that's just my opinion.

Ray

[Jeff S]

... in response to Huh?, posted by Ray on Sep 21, 2002

.. but hispanic rights groups in Orange County have gotten the Anaheim police (the last holdouts in the county) to stop informing the INS of illgeal aliens even after they've been arrested for other crimes. It's sad. They're even pushing to change the terminol;ogy from "illegal alien" to "undocumented immigrant." Talk about trying to legitimize things.

-- Jeff