to send or not to send...

[NateD]

You all have been in this a lot longer than I have and know the signs much better than I do, so I thought I'd post this little paragraph and see what you all thing:

"but don't worry if you want our relationship will be extended I have some favor to you would you please send me also a money for my mailing responce to you and I would write you everyday...promised...and I will not getting tired to write you okey!"

Now, my question is, should I send her anything other than stamps to help with reply postage?  And if I should, how should I send it?

Thanks,
NateD

[greg]

... in response to to send or not to send..., posted by NateD on Aug 19, 2002

a seller that sell Philippine stamps. I recommend you send one stamp each time she writes You..Nothing more until You both has developed something serious. Send Zero gift and $$$$$.  Sending cards make them happy.

[NW Jim]

... in response to Search at Filipina websites for , posted by greg on Aug 19, 2002

You can use International Reply Coupons from the US Postal Service or buy PI stamps. Here's one site that sells them:
http://www.filipina-ladies-personals.com/new/otherservice.html

[greg]

... in response to Re: IRC or PI Stamps. , posted by NW Jim on Aug 20, 2002

are confusing to RP Postal employees, most won't accept coupons if Employee don't understand that it's actually postage. Would play it safe and send Philippine stamps. When Guys visit RP they can purchase the stamps themselves. RP postal service is pitiful unreliable, would use mail forward service for important mail..at least you would know that letter arrived..RP employees has a bad habit of stealing snail mail from Foreign countries.

[Howard]

... in response to to send or not to send..., posted by NateD on Aug 19, 2002

Nate,

Send stamps  That should be all she needs to send you a letter everyday

Keep the Faith!

H

[Bear]

... in response to to send or not to send..., posted by NateD on Aug 19, 2002

I had to make my future wife take money for a cell phone with it costing me $600/mo. for her not to have one.  I finally told her to buy me a cell phone and hold it till I got there (and that she could use it till then).  In order to get her to except money for chatting and school I had to hire her.  I paid her to make me a family crest on a tapestry.  She used the extra I sent her to chat and pay for school.

Use mail forwarding.  Its a touch more expensive ($3-4/letter) but you get your responses in a few days instead of weeks and it costs her nada.

Bear and Honey

[BrianN]

... in response to Re: to send or not to send..., posted by Bear on Aug 19, 2002

You're exactly right...  in a "proper" advanced situation such as this it can cost a guy a lot of money to keep the status quo, which is why, under certain specific circumstances forcing the issue is paramount, and very cost effective if the trust is there.

But it takes a first (risky) step to get there.  But what the heck, after this long of a time, you got nothing to lose anyway.

Btw, if you got the url for mail fowarding, it might help this situation pretty good too!

bd.

[Kreeger]

... in response to to send or not to send..., posted by NateD on Aug 19, 2002

...Don't do it... in all the time of my previous correspondences with Filipinas, not 1 (out of about 18 or 20) has ever asked me for a penny. Some have hinted that they are poor and asked me to pray for them in their poverty (most likely hoping that I would send them money) but never has one asked me outright. She is brave and I suggest that, yes, you should send her some Philippine stamps instead of money. It would definitely show what kind of person she is by her response to that.

[Ray]

... in response to to send or not to send..., posted by NateD on Aug 19, 2002

Nate,

What kind of “relationship”?
How long have you been corresponding with this lady?
Is this a “serious” prospect?
Does she send e-mails or use on-line chat?

There is really nothing wrong with helping out a “serious” pen-pal with postage or Internet costs, which can be considerable for these ladies. But if it’s someone whom you just recently met and she started out by asking for money, then I would quietly let her go and move on. Typical Filipinas won’t ask for money because of the “shame” involved. If she is the one who initiated the discussion of sending money, then watch out!

Probably the best way to send funds is to remit money to her bank account through one of the remittance centers. $20-50 per month is usually plenty for fairly frequent e-mails/letters. Philippine stamps are harder to purchase and won’t do any good for cyber café expenses.

Ray

[NateD]

... in response to Not enough info..., posted by Ray on Aug 19, 2002

Ray,

I would consider the relationship as one of just getting to know each other.  This is only the second letter I received from her, and she was the one who initiated the correspondance.  I think I'll just send her a stamp or two and see how she reacts to that.  Stamps, at least, are safe, right?

NateD

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Not enough info..., posted by NateD on Aug 19, 2002

If you really think this one is worth pursuing, then why not just write back and totally ignore her request for money. Then see what her reaction is. If her continuing this correspondence is conditional on you sending her money (or even stamps), you’ll find out soon enough. If she is asking for money in the second letter, then stand by for more requests for “favors” in the future (I guarantee it).

If it were me, I would just drop her now, BEFORE I developed any feelings for her, and look for someone more “traditional” who is too ashamed to ask for money.

Either way. Let us know how this works out.

Ray

[BrianN]

... in response to Re: Not enough info..., posted by NateD on Aug 19, 2002

Well she sure as heck can't take'em down to the local pawn shop and hock'em.  Send the pi stamps!