There was an op-ed article in yesterday's LA Times that basically said that people have about the same level of happiness throughout their adult lives no matter what their fortunes are. Whether they become rich or famous, or end up with serious misfortune, their basic happiness level is the same at 40, 50, 60, 70 as it was at 20. The fulfilment of wants (new car, fancy house, marriage, kids) just brings on new wants; it doesn't necessarily change happiness level. Of course there are minor localized variations, the day your K-1 gets approved, you go for a ride down Pacific Coast Highway in your new 'vette, but overall, it stays the same. Lottery winners were cited as not understanding why they're not happier than they were before. The same seems to be true of divorcees who left one partner in search of happiness and ended up with another. They're very rarely more happy the second time around.
This makes sense to me, since I know some miserable people, who have always been miserable and will always be miserable - no matter what the state of their affairs, nice wife, great kids, good job, lots of fun vacations, etc. They seem to be waiting for something to happen that will finally make them happy. Conversely, I know some people who can keep smiling while the world seems to collapse around them, not seeming to need anything for their basic happiness.
A long while ago, there was a thread about picking a wife and the basic conclusion to the discussion was "Happy girls are best." We guys tend to think that riding in like a knight in shining armor to rescue the damsel in distress is almost the definition of the textbook "living happily ever after." The truth is, as Dr. Laura points out, if you rescue a damsel in distress, you end up with a distressed damsel. If this LA Times article has any truth to it, happy girls ARE best because they wil continue to be happy throughout your lives, whereas unhappy girls will also be dissatisfied no matter how great their lives become.
One of the things I fell in-love with about my wife when we were dating was her ability to smile anytime. Of course, our marriage hasn't always been peaches and cream, but we're both basically fairly happy people. When I contrast my wife to her sister (who I met first), who is constantly steeped in misery and conflict , and I think is on her fourth divorce, though I've lost count, I'm sure thankful that I picked the quiet happy one with little English.
Anyway, pardon my philosophical ramblings, but if you want a happy wife, it seems you're a lot more likely to have one by picking out a happy single girl.
-- Jeff S.
