here's the truth

[MsDuong]

OK, I have'nt seen Thai since MAY. His family sent him to school in california to learn "nails" . The family who once sent me vietnamese dishes every sunday, has not even called me since he left. I hear from Thai once a week. I planned on him coming home by now, but he isn't. Sept. 4th, he says. So, now I have a week off--going to kansas city with my daughter instead of my husband.

So, that's the truth, folx. I'll give you more details when I get back opn monday.

[Bear]

... in response to here's the truth, posted by MsDuong on Aug 16, 2002

Hi Lori,

I say patience!  But communicate and insist that you are given consideration.  Different cultures take a lot of talking to understand.  Doesn't sound like a marriage ending event but one that shows how much the differences are between the two of you.  I have personally seen several couples go down simply because they never communicated what they really wanted from they relationship and what was expected.  When the time came to fess-up the whole thing crashed and burned.  As it stands now you married him and are expected to submit.  I think discussing it with this family who hasn't been there since he left might help.  Telling someone how you feel and what you expect but that you want to be supportive is critical right now for your sake.

Good luck!!

Bear and Honey

[MsDuong]

... in response to here's the truth, posted by MsDuong on Aug 16, 2002

OK, We had discussed Thai going to California to go to school. Only because the schools here would not gaurentee a return on our money if Thai could keep up with the English part of it all. In California he can learn in vietnamese and take the test in vietnamese. I agreed to this, because they said this would all be in the future and we would save for it. The next thing I know his brother is giving him the money to go. They said it would be a 10 week course. What they did not expect is that he would have to wait for a date to take the exam. It took 1 month to get the date. He's supposed to be home sept 6th.

I have'nt read alot of your comments , only a few.

Greg---it doesn't suprise me one bit that you have that kind of mentality.

I'll be gone again tomorrow all day and will respond when I get back
Remember---I'm on vacation---haha

[Dave H]

... in response to Re:a little more clear , posted by MsDuong on Aug 17, 2002

Hi Lori,

The Vietnamese that I know are proud, don't like to be dependant on others and will repay another's support and kindness. My friend's wife's family (parents, brothers, sisters, spouses, children) came to the US as refugees and lived with him for a year. They got jobs as soon as possible and helped with expenses. My friend was a bit stressed, because the house was very crowded. Most people told him that he was a fool and just being used. He eventually helped them buy a house by co-signing on the loan. They paid the house off quickly and put the title in his name. Needless to say, he was a bit overwhelmed. Then they purchased and moved into a bigger house My friend rented the one they had given him for years and eventually sold it. *s* Enjoy your vacation. Hang in there!

Dave H.

[Jay]

... in response to Re:a little more clear , posted by MsDuong on Aug 17, 2002

Hi Lori,

I've been reading this thread with some amusement. The replies to you, and your replies back. You don't seem too concerned. You didn't even in the first post. Didn't read that way to me anyway.

I don't know a whole hell of alot about the Vietnamese, but I know a little. One thing I have observed is, the first order of buisness for Vietnamese arriving in the U.S. is that making a decent living is the first order of buisness for them. Family usually helps. I'm sure you know this. Seem's normal to me.

The only "red flag" I could see (if any) , is that the family doesn't talk to you. And IF they are avoiding you (are they?), that might indicate  a reluctance to speak to you so as not to have to lie to your face about what Thai may be up to. This is only a thought on why this is happening.. Not even suggesting anything is. As long as YOU trust the man.

Jay

[Jay]

... in response to Re: Re:a little more clear , posted by Jay on Aug 18, 2002

....The family knows your not real thrilled with this and they are just a bit embarrased. Could be something as simple as that.

Jay

[greg]

... in response to Re:a little more clear , posted by MsDuong on Aug 17, 2002

Sorry if the Truth hurts. Only a Fool would think that You got something good Going with that Guy. Backtrack and read BrianN's post below..Go back read your Posts in the Archives. Reminder, to Everybody..It's foolish to bring a Foreigner here that treat us the same or worst than what we could find in America. Lori, many American males would Love to have You, and treat you much better. Trust me

[MsDuong]

... in response to Hi Lori..We are Just watching Your Back ..., posted by greg on Aug 18, 2002

All aw's make bad wives...right?? What good standing american male would want me??

What the heck do you know about my husband??? I posted this thread because I was pissed that my husband has to stay gone for a few weeks longer , and I had planned a trip for us that I could not change. It's called VENTING. I waited a long time to post this thread---because I knew this is the reaction I would get.

[MsDuong]

... in response to Re:a little more clear , posted by MsDuong on Aug 17, 2002

Throw in the towel!!! Your husbands gay!!! Call the INS!!

you people are funny.

[Humabdos]

... in response to wow!!!, posted by MsDuong on Aug 17, 2002

Ok so it's not what you wanted to hear.... I hope I'm wrong. Only time will tell.  It's only natural to stick up for the one you love and try to justify it all.  Good luck.

Hum

[greg]

... in response to here's the truth, posted by MsDuong on Aug 16, 2002

Don't make excuses for his Actions. Send him and his Mess back to Vietnam..there are alot of American males that would be happy to have You. Face the Fact...Him and his family used You as a bridge to Milk and Honey. His  family telling Him a Grown man your Hubby what to do??? Do You want a Wimp as a Husband?? You deserve better..My opinion is that Asian women make gooooood wives. Asian men??? Don't think so...later..

[Ray]

... in response to Deport the Bum, posted by greg on Aug 17, 2002

...with your conclusion that Asian men don't make gooooood wives. Hell, they they don't even make baaaaaad wives (LOL).

Brilliant post Greg, just brilliant!

Ray

[Jimbo]

... in response to Deport the Bum, posted by greg on Aug 17, 2002

Greg, you say Asian men are bad, AWs are bad... you went off on her sounding like a Mag Anak reject again and now you want to help her with advice?  Oy!

Jim

[Febtember]

... in response to here's the truth, posted by MsDuong on Aug 16, 2002

Hi Lori,
I keep reading your post since I found Planet love website.Since Thai arrived I sense that his not really a good guy.Could you immagine cying hard because he miss his family in Saigon.If I I were Thai even how I miss my family back home I won't show you that I cry because I understand that you hurt more to see me crying than me missing my family.He should realize how much trouble he brings to you and he should give up everything.Shame on Him his the guy.I know there were lot's of job opportunity for him there in Michigan why should he need to leave you and went to california.
Do his heart is made up of stone that he did not even appreciate and see the love you bring to Him.He just use you.You deserved to be happy not to suffer.

[MsDuong]

... in response to Re: here's the truth, posted by Febtember on Aug 17, 2002

He cried because his brother died shortly after he arrived in America, Remember?? He had found out that his brother had cancer shortly before he left vietnam.

Do his heart is made up of stone that he did not even appreciate and see the love you bring to Him.---wow!!!!