Thanks!

[JJ27]

Hi,

I posted last month.. but I was unable to respond as quickly
as I had hoped to. I'd like to thank everyone for the warm
welcome to this forum. I've been reading the threads over
the past few days, and I've decided to pursue this type of
relationship. I've been taking alot of time to read things
over before I attempt this.. so, that I can avoid some of
the scams and other problems that can result from this.

I just visited the site that someone here owns, that shows
pictures of all of the couples from this forum that have
met and married using this method. I'd be interested in
learning how these couples met.. through what initial method..
e-mail, handwritten letters, etc.. and if they used some
sort of introduction service, and if so.. which ones.

I will be posting more often now, and I'm sure I'll have
many questions. Thanks again for the warm welcome.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Thanks!, posted by JJ27 on Jul 28, 2002

Go to archive 51, Outwest did a survey called "Those who met, How did you?" about halfway down the page. You'll see that 1/2 of the respondents met through friends or by accident (fate?) and half through penpal/chatroom means.

You'll find that if you're looking for an Asian wife, there are no introduction agencies as are common in South America. I've read they're illegal in the Philippines - so buying addresses from an agency seems to be the major initial contact technique. The vast majority of your possibilities will not have internet access so mail is most often the first step. Later, you can get her to an Internet cafe with a web based e-mail so you can chat more easily after narrowing down your possibilities.  One of the posters here met in a chat room, but the consensus seems to be that if you're talking to someone in a chatroom, you're more likely talking to several giggling high school girls than a sincere mature lady.

Don't forget the personal approach - get to know members of the community from the country you're interested in and ask around. Nearly everyone has a cousin, niece or friend from back home who'd like to meet a nice guy. The cutest Thai girl who attends the local university and worlks as a waitress at a resturaunt I frequent tried to set me up with her sister recently before I told her I was married. Learning the language & culture of the country you're interested in is important, too. You might consider traveling there on vacation if you have the resources. Having reference poiints about her country/culture/history/manners to discuss with your penpal will surprise and impress your sweetie as well as making you more palpatable to her relatives.

Just a few thoughts on a Sunday morning. Good luck with your search!

- Jeff S.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Thanks!, posted by Jeff S on Jul 28, 2002

And yes, those introduction services in the Philippines are illegal. Technically, anyone taking money for any kind of introduction for the purpose of marriage is breaking the law in the Philippines. One guy who runs an Internet-based address service was recently banned from the Philippines.

And Brian N is also correct. Humility goes a long way in the Phils :-)

Ray

[BrianN]

... in response to Thanks!, posted by JJ27 on Jul 28, 2002

in your expectations.  There is magic in foreign lands, but there ain't no magic to being a tough guy.  If you're a jerk to a lady, nothing will work for you, no matter where she's from, USA, Botswana, or Bolivia. Not saying that you're anything like this, just keep your kahoonays in the right spot and you'll do ok.  There's lots of love available in the world, and all ya gotta do is open yourself up to it.  It really can come to you.  Just let it.

Cheers, and good luck in your venture.

[JJ27]

... in response to Just be realistic, posted by BrianN on Jul 28, 2002


Thanks guys for the advice! I'm not a "tough guy". I'm
just the average guy, looking for a honest, caring woman
to spend the rest of my life with. I've read alot of the
archives, although confusing at times, I can relate to
how many of the posters here feel about finding someone.  

A little about myself.. I'm 27 and I'm just an average
guy, looking for love wherever it may be. I've read alot
of the archives, and I'm not really sure what to think. I
read about some amazing relationships, and then some that
turned into nightmares. Some people seem to recommend
correspondence via postal mail, others via e-mail, others
were successful via chat, and by just visiting the country.

I'm a major "newbie" at this.. so, I'm just trying to
figure out the best way to start. Once I start something,
I will remain committed to it, but I have to make sure I'm
taking the best route.. before I put everything into it.

Over the weekend, I checked out Cherry Blossoms and some
of the web sites that offer free addresses and e-mail. I
may subscribe to CB and e-mail some of the girls listed
there, and then see how everything goes from there.

Thanks again for the advice.