Here's something to Argue About ;c)

[Don J]

... in response to Hi Howard..Hard to Say, posted by greg on Jun 20, 2002

Howard:

Although you owe them nothing, you also owe nothing to the X, just because she doesn't want them to know what's going on doesn't mean you should be reminded every month or so that this ordeal actually happened.

Her Mother obviosly played a big role in the deception, however like most Mothers she only wanted a better life for her daughter than she had. Was it right of her to gamble with your emotions?, obviously not, however I suspect she never imagined in her wildest of dreams that things would have ended the way they did.

My opinion, Tell her Mom what happened in not to many details. Let her know you are aware of her involvement from the start, be polite but make her aware of the two lives she inadvertanly affected by her involvement.

You know your Mom would want you write them, and this will get the Monkey off your back.

Just My 2 Peso worth.
Don J

[donb2222]

... in response to Here's something to Argue About ;c), posted by Howard on Jun 20, 2002

dfd

[Tim]

... in response to IMHO,  take the high road, send them a l..., posted by donb2222 on Jun 20, 2002

Normally I would agree with your advice, Don, but I think this situation is different. If they haven't heard from Ayesa by now, it's because she wants it that way. In desperation, the family is going to latch on to anyone who can give them information about her, and that means they'll keep bothering Howard if he does send even a single letter.

IMHO, the only way he's going to fully heal from this is if he just severs all ties with them.

Maybe my comment about getting someone to impersonate him was a bit harsh, but they don't deserve any better after what they did to him.

Happy anniversary, btw, I forgot to tell you in the thread below.

Regards, Tim

[donb2222]

... in response to Normally, I would agree, but..., posted by Tim on Jun 21, 2002

Hi Tim,
  I guess we will agree to disagree.  I think Howard should write a very straightforward letter explaining what happened, and that he does not wish to hear from them again.
I think it might be cathartic for Howard to tell these people exactly what they did to him, and how it turned out.
Besides, he seems to feel it is what his mother would have wanted, and he would probably feel better following her wishes.

Regards and Thanks,

Don

[Mars]

... in response to Here's something to Argue About ;c), posted by Howard on Jun 20, 2002

Why don't you wait until you visit the Phils again...visit the old in-laws and then fill them in at your leisure with your new sweetie hanging on your arm. Rrrrrrrico'Suave......

[Bear]

... in response to Here's something to Argue About ;c), posted by Howard on Jun 20, 2002

allow Stephen to send them a letter explaining that an annulment has occured by choice of their daughter (include a copy of the papers) and all else is no longer your concern.  Explain in a simple pharagraph that further contacts will be ignored as you do not wish to waste anymore time on the matter their lies, disreguard for human emotions and unbelieveable treatment of their own daughter caused.

I'd give them no more info than that.

Bear and Honey

[Tim]

... in response to Here's something to Argue About ;c), posted by Howard on Jun 20, 2002

Howard, if you DO write them, you are just asking to get another letter from them. One full of questions that you should not have to waste one more iota of your precious existence explaining.

I do have a different idea, if you want options. Get one of your buddies up there (or here on PL) to impersonate you and reply to the letter. That would be poetic justice !

Regards, Tim

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Here's something to Argue About ;c), posted by Tim on Jun 20, 2002

Howard..

I will volunteer to write them a short letter from my address here in California.

I will say that Howard asked me to write and inform them of basic facts.

2 or 3 paragraphs should do it.

Do you want me to do this for you?

Stephen

If so, just sent $10,000 retainer.....just joking.

[Stephen]

... in response to Good idea......, posted by Stephen on Jun 20, 2002

before I sent any letter out I would run it past you for approval.

It would just be a short letter that states you are not longer married, no further contact, etc.

Short, but to the point.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Here's something to Argue About ;c), posted by Howard on Jun 20, 2002

.. but why would you NOT drop them a note and say that Ayesa and you split up and you put her on a plane back to the Philippines on MMDDYY?

-- Jeff S.

[Ray]

... in response to Here's something to Argue About ;c), posted by Howard on Jun 20, 2002

I think I would just throw the letter in the trash and go out for a couple of cold beers. Life is too short... :-)

Ray

[Bubba]

... in response to No argument here..., posted by Ray on Jun 20, 2002

Ray,  I've been following this board since before Tim went to Hong Kong the first time and Howard is a good guy, I think he at least needs to tell them they are NOT his in-laws anymore.  He can take the high road and he always does.

[Tim]

... in response to Re: No argument here..., posted by Bubba on Jun 20, 2002

(nt)

[Ray]

... in response to Re: No argument here..., posted by Bubba on Jun 20, 2002

Yes, I've been around here that long myself and I agree with you about Howard being one of the good guys. I'm sure that Howard will do what he thinks is right no matter what we tell him.

But, I was merely expressing what "I" would do in a similar situation :-)

Ray

[Matthew]

... in response to Re: Re: No argument here..., posted by Ray on Jun 20, 2002

Of course you were just giving your opinion,Ray.You know what he is going to do,I know what he is going to do and Howard knows what he is going to do!

Don't forget to write AIR MAIL on the envelope,H:)

You da man!!

tito Matt