children

[The Walker]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: He lives with hi..., posted by kevin on Jun 8, 2002

Most teachers take summer jobs. Around here house painting is popular and they make a nice piece of change at it. They also tutor for money, which I believe is illegal no matter what the union says.

As it is I don't really disagree with the summer vacation for kids. We put men on the moon and ruled the world with summer vacations. I had a ball during mine. Summer vacations is where you learn to live. You swim, you play, you date, you work a summer job and learn the value of a dollar as it relates to your own sweat, you go to camp, you go camping, you do a hitch in a volunteer project somewhere that benefits the less fortunate and you learn that you don't really have it as rough as you thought. You settle differences with your neighborhood kids with fists on occasion, then play baseball with them an hour later. I would hate to have to have kids turn into robots at school as they are in Japan. it takes the spark out of them.

-Don

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: He lives with his mo..., posted by The Walker on Jun 8, 2002

Your right farming is a tough life but admire the people who do it. They feed me so they are very valuable and it scares me to think that in the near future we will have to import to survive as Americans. You think relying on oil is bad wait till we need our wheat from Canada, beef from Brazil, and vegetables from Mexico. Only the really big farms get subsidies ask the smaller guys what they get and they will make a zero sign. May have to start my own little garden in the back yard.

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: He lives with hi..., posted by stefang on Jun 8, 2002

And I remember when I was a senior in high school in 1982.  I had a teacher who specialized in biology.  That was his passion.  In my junior year, 1981-82, I had him for Anatomy and Physiology.  In my senior year, I had him for Ecology until I had to change my schedule.  He was an avid naturalist who tried to harness the best of the natural environment, especially when it came to hunting.

But, I'll always remember his tale about buying eggs.  In ecology, he talked about the 5-year-old city kid who went on a field trip to the poultry farm.  She observed that chickens laid eggs and that's how eggs were brought into a household.  Her reaction:  "Why don't they just go to the supermarket to buy eggs?".

Well, that teacher was perhaps nuts, I'm sure a genius, and very eccentric.  When we dissected cats in the Anatomy & Physiology class, he came around with his worm jar to collect the formaldehyde preserved roundworms (nematodes) and tapeworms from the cats' digestive systems.

- Kevin

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: He lives wit..., posted by kevin on Jun 8, 2002

I remember the local tv station in Detroit showing the city kids going to a farm. Most of them never knew what a chicken or cow looked like alive at least. It is nice to hear about the guys on the board here talking about how the wives enjoy fishing or their husbands going and bringing back some fish. I loved nature when I was younger and still do. Someone on the board said they saw a lizard on their hotel room ceiling. I would of jumped out of bed and tried to catch it. When I was only five years old we lived in Arizona. My brother and I used to catch anything we could run down or find under a rock. Lizards, Scorpions, Rabbits whatever and we brought them home to show mom. I was good at spotting lizards  then I would take off running trying to keep my eye on them and would step in a cactus. Ooooouch, I think I did this two or three times luckily I became a little smarter with age. We were fortunate to never find a rattler underneath one of those rocks.

[The Walker]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: He lives..., posted by stefang on Jun 8, 2002

Ever find a Gila Monster? They can scare the crap out of you. What I hated were the small, wheat-colored scorpions. Almost impossible to see and they loved to drown themselves in swimming pools, where they were again almost invisible but their stingers would work well 48 hours after they were dead. Brush up against it in the water and ZAP!

-Don

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: He l..., posted by The Walker on Jun 8, 2002

Never stung by a scorpion but the fire ants got me a few times. We used to put the scorpions in the ant nests and watch the ants tear them apart. The best way to get rid of the ants was to pour a five gallon can of gasoline in the hole and torch them. We lived in Page, Arizona not far from Glen Canyon Dam if I'm correct. My father caught a big lizard about 4 feet long I think it was a desert iguana. We caught mostly horny toads, and what we called ringnecks. The ringnecks are nasty they bite your finger and won't let go, you had to pry them off with a butter knife.

[stefang]

... in response to children, posted by stefang on Jun 6, 2002

Thanks for the messages below, I wanted to get to know a little more about Asians and kids. It seems to depend on the financial situation of wether the woman will work or not, it is nice to hear that the women that do work have parents watch the children. It sounds that the family ties here are still strong maybe not as much as their original nation but still family oriented.
I have coworkers who don't seem to care anything about their kids. They work all day and then want to go out at night so they get a babysitter. Ten years from now when their kids reach teen years it will be hard to tell them what to do, since they don't want to do any parenting now. I knew some teachers who quit teaching because they said that kids wouldn't listen or they could not even read or write and this was in high school. Parents then go to the teachers and blaim everything on the teachers thinking it is their job to raise the kids.
Their are a lot of stay at home moms who don't want to raise the kids either, internet all day and night I feel sorry for your first marriage Singledad, who said all women are better parents then men. I think I will pay more attention to how a woman acts near children and treats them to see what type a mother she would be. I think for me finding a first born would be good since a lot of first children in bigger families tend to help raise the younger kids. I was the baby of the family so I didn't have a younger sibling. I need an understanding woman since I sometimes revert to the child in a man sindrome he he he.
 Jeff I knew about the Japanese and school, I think it is the same in China, school all day and homework till 10 or 11 at night. That is why a lot of the Japanese and Chinese want to go to Universities in America. They have so much schooling that their first few years of classes hear are gravy for them.

[Howard]

... in response to children, posted by stefang on Jun 6, 2002

Stef,

From my expirience, different Asian women, just like their American couterparts, treat Motherhood differently.  While the vast majority prefer to be very "hands on" and stay at home, there are some, a definite minority, who would rather work and do things the "American way"  I guess it really depends on the woman you have a relationship with

One thing I do know is that you will have a louder voice in those type of issues with the lion share of Asian women, from my expirience.

My best advice is:  Make a list. Check it twice  Be realistic about your wants/needs, but make SURE you discuss everything to your satisfaction in advance.  Leave nothing to chance that might effect the relationship in the long run.

Gerlie and I have had several conversations about raising children and we have almost exactly the same ideas when it comes to parenting.  For the record, she would prefer to stay home and be with the children while they are young.  I completely support anything that is important to her  Whatever is best for the kids is best for me  I'm easy  LOL

Hope that was what you are looking for

Keep the Faith

H

[Ray]

... in response to Well..., posted by Howard on Jun 7, 2002

Hi Howard,

I have to disagree with you on the part about Asian women who would rather work being in the minority. On the contrary, I’ve noticed that the vast majority of Asian mothers here in California do work outsider the home, even when there are small children. Of the hundreds of Filipino and Fil-Am families that I’ve known here in San Diego, I’d estimate that 80-90% of the mothers had full time jobs for most or all of the time that they were raising children.

The American dream, particularly with respect to home ownership, is a BIG factor with most Filipinos and other Asian families that I’ve known. Purchasing a home here is usually impossible without two incomes in the family. Of the Filipinos I’ve known, I would say that most use relatives for child care. Most all of my neighbors are retired Filipinos and they all take care of grandchildren during the day while the parents are working full time.

But I do agree with you that all this stuff should be discussed thoroughly IN ADVANCE before marriage.

Ray

[joemc]

... in response to Different Experience, posted by Ray on Jun 7, 2002

Hi Ray
   you have another good point. I did forget my
   mother-in-law  was very much involve also in raising my kids              

                               joemc

[Howard]

... in response to Different Experience, posted by Ray on Jun 7, 2002

R,

Obviously you know WAYYYYY more Filipino Couples than I do.  LOL  Thanks for that info  Like I said in my post, I was basing it on my expirience, which we all know here is vast in some instances and limited in others

You got my email right?

Keep the Faith

H

[Ray]

... in response to That's interesting!, posted by Howard on Jun 7, 2002

Yep, got your e-mail the other day.

Hey Howard, maybe Asian moms don't have to work in Michigan like they do here in California. Maybe because housing costs are higher out here? The median price of a new home here in San Diego is around $300,000. Try qualifying for a mortgage on that with only one income. In order to purchase our home, my first wife and I could never have qualified on my income alone. She worked nights and I worked days, so one of us was almost always home with the kids. Worked out pretty well for us.

Now that I gave it some thought, I’d have to revise my previous estimate and say that probably closer to 95% of Filipina moms I’ve known worked outside the home. And I’d say that easily 95% of the Filipino couples I’ve known own their own home.

Maybe we’re both right (LOL)

Ray

[SingleDad318]

... in response to children, posted by stefang on Jun 6, 2002

Well, speaking as a single father with custody of a 2 1/2 year old boy, sometimes options are limited and one has to make the best out of a tough decision. My ex was originally a stay at home mom after the baby was born but then she decided to be a stay at home stay on line and ignore the child mom. My ex was clocking 12-18 hours a day online and only attending to my sons needs when the spirit moved her and she had to move the wrinkles from one cheek to the other. Everyday I woke and fed the baby before work, came home and fed him lunch, then came home in the evening and gave him a bath and put him to bed. Guess where the ex was? You got it! On-line eating freakin bon bon's, so needless to say I am very accustomed to the single father thing. I would rather have had a wife at home RAISING my son but her priorities were, well...... she sat on them.
My son is much happier now that he is being paid attention to and is progressing quite nicely, the Dr's and DayCare cannot believe I am doing all this solo.

So to answer your question, there are no right or wrong answers. Just let common sense guide you and everything will work out well.

Jody

[Bear]

... in response to Re: children, posted by SingleDad318 on Jun 6, 2002

Did we marry sisters?  My "ex" was exactly the same except it was soaps and crossword puzzles.  I had to put the kids in a nursery because I couldn't work fearful of her sleeping while my toddlers were roaming the house.  I even had to hire a maid to clean the house.  Worked as many as 4 jobs making ends meet.  But when my last turned 18 and 5 weeks before his graduation I was gone.  She now works as a security guard because she didn't work for 24 years of marriage and has no skills. Yeap, she sure learned to "chat".  My son says she lives on the computer now.

Bear

[SingleDad318]

... in response to Gosh!!!, posted by Bear on Jun 6, 2002

Must have been Bear.

You obviously have more patience than I, after seeing the way she was for 8 months straight I had to take the bull by the horns and make the hardest decision I have ever had to make. As hard as it was to make it was also easy to make and I am quite comfortable with it. I have been raising him for the most part alone since he was 10 months old, so i have worn many hats and I have no problem wearing more, it is my job and my responsibilty that I take great pride in doing and I cherish every moment of it.