Uncle needs wife -- help!

[InfoWriter]

Hi all! I’m helping my uncle find a mail order bride because his first THREE American marriages ended (gold-diggers).  He loves foreign women but he knows nothing about the 'net and I have done a bit of research but want to make sure I don't leave anything out. Can someone please post a step-by-step plan for finding a mail order bride just so I know I'm doing everything right?  For example, should he sign up with a service first - is it better to order access to addresses or what?  Any advice would be appreciated. He's a great guy who deserves a devoted wife.  I don’t want to order a guide. I’m trying to get advice from REAL guys who are here in this board who have gone through the process.
thanks!
also, what does this search cost from start to finish?

[wsbill]

... in response to Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by InfoWriter on Jan 5, 2005

Is avoiding the russian/ukrainian owned agencies.  But stick with the American ones.  Think about this, who's more adapt to rip you off?

I'm still halfway in and halfway out about this one.  But, perhaps on your first trip over you most definately want to use a agency.  I've used Jack and you'll hear people bash him.  But, I'd like to aleast be able to call somebody up here in the states and talk about this.

Do a tour and take your time.  I'm still in the process of finding one... I'm just like broke at the moment.

But, learn as much as you can about this who process.  This website message board has a search engine on it so, if you have a dumb question.  What I'd recommend doing is search for that answer first and if you can't find anything, post your question.

Hate to say it, but I've been here for the last 3-4 years.
But during that time alot of guys have came and gone and the questions are all the same.

Time really is standing still over there.  You will be absolutely floored at how beautiful these women really are.
Granted there are beautiful women here in the states, but I guarantee you.  They won't give you the time of day, like these ladies over there.

A word to the wise.  When you do go over, do go flashing money and gold watches and such.  There are gold diggers in all societies, and I guess there are beautiful ladies of common social values as well.

But the whole focus here is getting a beautiful wife, one that will stick with you in good times and bad.  Someone that can atleast cook something besides spagetti or soup.

Hey, that's what I'm after.  She doesn't necessairly have to be model, but it doesn't hurt.  However, I live out in the sticks and I really doubt if a city girl would ever want to live in the sticks as well.  But, get to know the girl first before you get too judgemental about her.

If she loves you, she'll follow you to the ends of the earth or however long the money last...hihi.  But, from the guy that I have met, going over and doing this who process.

Well, I just have to say they are some of the luckest SOB alive.  But, probably the most important thing to do is ask questions.  I think as you read this the guys, myself included will give you the straightest answer possible.  You may not like it, if I guy tell yous she's a scammer.

But don't be too early to judge.  I met someone, and I'm still halfway in and halfway out on how I feel about her.

But if a guy points out... Look, there are thousand of other eligible ladies out there, follow their advice.  Cause the last thing we want to see is somebody getting ripped off.  Women, can be very deceptive.  

That's my two cents.  Good luck and welcome.

[Oatmeal]

... in response to Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by InfoWriter on Jan 5, 2005

Asssuming that this is not a troll, I will do my best to answer your questions.

1) If you really care about his success and happiness, I would really try to get him aquainted with computers and the internet.  Without this means of communication it can be frustrating and time consuming task.  It is not a requirement to have internet/e-mail but certainly worth the investment if he is serious.  Even if he does find a jewel of a woman, it will be some time in between seeing each other and with e-mail capability you can send photos and letters which greatly eases the pain of being apart.  Phone calls are fine but sometimes you want a little more.

2) It pays to be informed when looking to partner with a woman from another country.  Try to get him to do reading on the culture and people of the country he wants to visit.  This is not always as dry as it might sound. (Again, another reason to have access to the internet.)  Many misunderstandings come from differences in culture and myths about people of that culture.

3)  Tell him not to concentrate on getting married the first time over.  Just think of it as a chance to date a few ladies and get to know the country and its people.  I would not recommend going full blast looking for a wife first time out.  Again, many many unhappy couples come from the excitement of it all and not enough time was taken to get to know the other person.

4)  It would be fine to take a tour with a company, but only with a reputable agency.  You can use many different methods to meet nice ladies.
   
    * Take a tour with an agency and go to socials.
    * Buy addresses and write to ladies you like.
    * Post a profile on various websites.
    * Place ads in various publications within the country.
    * Use the assistance of marriage agencies in country.
    * Get a good interpreter and have them assist you in
      finding ladies for you.
    * Using the services of a good interpreter, meet ladies
      on the street (Sounds creepy but trust me when I say
      this is really a great way to meet average ladies.

There are probably a few more I didn't think of.  I would use a combination of some or all of these methods.  You just never know when lighting will strike.

Again, most of the above methods really rely on contacts and internet.  Just another reason to become aquainted with a computer, unless you have a personal assistant to take care of this for you.

He should become well aquainted with scammer ladies and the various scams they pull in order to get money.  This sounds scary but if you are informed you can avoid most of these ladies easily.

You may ask....Why should I listen to you.  All I can say is to ask my wife (from Odessa, Ukraine).  It took me 3 years to find her and I consider that a short time frame of looking.  Some can do it sooner but the shorter the time tends to increase the risk of something not working out.

Generally, I feel that the larger tour companies are much more risky in terms of getting scammed just because they can't quality control the number of ladies who come to their socials.  I tend to think a smaller agency can give much more time and care to their clients.

If you like you can e-mail me at JLBeckett55@hotmail.com and I can give you some agencies I have worked with that have been honest and helpful with my search for a foreign wife.

As for the cost...... Well that will vary greatly on a number of different factors.  First, it is not a cheap venture.  I can say that plane tickets will cost somewhere from $600 - $800 (economy class) in wintertime to $1,200 - $1,400 (economy class) during peak season summer.  I usually try to go sometime in late May when the weather is warming up and the air fares are still low.  I have noticed that the weather usually changes around the last week of May.  You can figure that housing will cost around $50 - $60 per night (This figure is assuming a standard flat in a larger city) smaller cities usually have a slightly lower cost.  Food can cost anywhere from $1.75 to as much as you want to spend (Again this depends on his preference for gourmet cuisine and appetite).  Usually you can eat fine at about $5-6 per meal.  Some or the more exclusive restaurants can serve dinners at more than $100.00 per plate.  Entertainment varies.  I usually estimate about $100.00 per day for all my entertainment and souvenir shopping.  You can get by on much less but I really love to have a great time while I'm there.  I figure that if I am going to travel so far I might as well enjoy myself.

Travel within FSU (Former Soviet Union) is cheap.  I wouldn't sweat that expense too much.

Feel free to contact me with any other questions you may have regarding this reply.  

[LP]

... in response to Re: Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by Oatmeal on Jan 5, 2005

...about FSU women:

10) Lavish as many gifts upon them as you can, even before you meet them.

9) Accept without question anything they tell you as the absolute truth. (The same applies to agencies).

Realize any and all photos they send will be the worst they have and they'll look far better in person.

7) That they really aren't sincere unless said photos are pretty much naked.

6) Be sympathetic, nearly every one had a parent (usually the father) die in car crash when they were a child.

5) Be ready to accept the surviving parent will suffer a severe medical problem soon after you begin corresponding.

4) They really don't care if you're 30 years their senior, it's all about love.

3) They're emotionally stable, predictable, gentle creatures who don't know the first thing about manipulating men. Especially foreign men.

2) See number 9.

And the number one thing to know about FSU women:

1) Immediately send them money whenever they ask, no matter the reason. (Especially if they're from Odessa

[Philb]

... in response to Top 10 things to know...., posted by LP on Jan 10, 2005

for validating everything I have always believed to be true.  LOL ;-)

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Top 10 things to know...., posted by LP on Jan 10, 2005

LP - Your 9 points could be your chapter titles in a book.  You could then go on a speaking tour with real life examples etc.  Oprah could make you a best seller!

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by Oatmeal on Jan 5, 2005

Hey, when you ever going to send me some of those videos of Ukraine...  I screwed up and taped over the ladies at the waterfall.

I just hope this guy really listens to us and get started on this.  It really is, like the fountain of youth.

I look at the women in my little town and say "NO WAY"!

I don't need the attitude and the BS.

I guess, I'm just different.  I think like a old country male.  When a man, was a man.

Now days women are bossing men around.  That will never happen in my home.  I will treat my future wife with great respect and shower her with love and attention.

And she can also have her say... but she will not be the major decision maker in the household.

[tbirdjoy]

... in response to Re: Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by Oatmeal on Jan 5, 2005

Oatmeal don't get sucked in by this person(infowriter).  The questions he/she is asking and by his/her handle they are either a reporter (getting you to help write the story or a student doing a reseacher paper on the subject.  Eitehr way let them do their own research.

Mark

[LP]

... in response to Re: Re: Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by tbirdjoy on Jan 5, 2005

[This message has been edited by LP]

..."InfoWriter"?

And even if he is legit I say let his uncle do his own research. I mean come on, any guy who is bright enough to marry three golddiggers in a row is destined to do well in this business. What a riot. They always blame someone other than themselves...

[Frank O]

... in response to Gee, ya think?, posted by LP on Jan 5, 2005

been taken by 3 goldiggers...hmmm let me try if I can find a wife in Lugansk?! Pretty funny man.If you can't do your own work this is simply not for you man. He needs to tell his uncle to grow a set.

[InfoWriter]

... in response to Re: Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by Oatmeal on Jan 5, 2005

Thanks for your advice, and no, I'm not a troll.  You seem to be the exception meaning you're much younger.  How common is this?  I'm curious that your profile says you lost your job over it.  How'd that happen?  I'd hate for him to suffer any ill consequences at my encouragement. Thanks

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by InfoWriter on Jan 5, 2005

but honestly if your uncle does not bother on HIS OWN to find out about this type of endeavor he has no business even dreaming of setting foot on foreign soil. Honestly you could be doing great harm to him. Many of us here have taken our lumps.
Speaking for myself been there done that. I AM married to a lady from Ukraine but even then I'm STILL taking lumps. Most of due to ignorance but some of it due to being hard headed. This is not an endeavor for just anyone. You have to "count the cost" as Jesus said before you try something like this or you will simply be overwhelmed. At the least lose several thousand $$'s at the worst who knows but it's NOT for the faint of heart. Not trying to be overly dramatic but the path is strewn with many a man who simply did NOT bother to do their homework. Caveat emptor.

[Oatmeal]

... in response to Re: Re: Uncle needs wife -- help!, posted by InfoWriter on Jan 5, 2005

I will continue to respond to your request eventhough I strongly suspect you are not entirely on the level about your uncle.  Seems to me you are probably doing some sort of research of some kind for a report (most probably).  If you want my personal story, feel free to e-mail me directly and I can give you the details of my experience.

If in fact you are not who you say you are then I would recommend just comming clean.  I think other posters on the board would prefer the honesty.

[wsbill]

... in response to Despite the suggestions of others...., posted by Oatmeal on Jan 6, 2005

People showing up asking questions.  But, the word for today is put yourself and your Uncle in a learning position and pay attention.

This is a fantasticly rewarding experience.

Have you ever traveled outside of the country before.  If so, your in for a rude awakening.

I think it's the mixing of cultures that I find so interesting and it doesn't hurt the ladies know how to dress, sexy but respectfully.

Eastern europe is like off the beaten path for most men.
It really does take some balls to get your passport and then buy your ticket and fly over to a place that was once our enemy!  But, times have changed.