Hey Powerlifter....

[LP]

[This message has been edited by LP]

...Care to expand on your "recently divorced from a FSU woman after a difficult 5 year marriage" and the other comments found in your profile?  Just curious...

[Powerlifter]

... in response to Hey Powerlifter...., posted by LP on Nov 1, 2004

LP, I can give a few details, but I do not want to be too specific right out of the box here.  I'm not the type to spill all my dirt on the net, but will try to offer my general experiences for whatever help it may provide to others.

I met my ex here in the USA while she was on a tourist visa.  She was living in NYC (Brighton Beach, of course) and I was working in Manhattan.

Note:  Any man who has lived in Manhattan can confirm that most attractive women in the city really try to avoid any kind of eye contact with men at almost all costs.  I met my ex on the subway and she actually initiated a friendly conversation in very broken English.  I am a decent enough looking guy, but nothing special - so this is pretty rare, after all, this is NYC.  (One thing that I have learned about foreign-born women, both FSU and Latinas, is that they will let you know if they are interested, which is really refreshing.  They smile or hold your gaze or say hello, whatever, but the AW game of showing complete disinterest or disdain is not usually not used.)

Phone number given, and date set up to meet in a Brooklyn cafe near the apartment she was staying.  To make a long story very short, we married about 6 months later here in the US, filed for Advance Parole, and had a second, very large wedding in her hometown.  I have no doubt that the marriage was real in her mind - no green card shark or scam girl.  

Another note:  Here are the basics on my wife and I - she is 12 years younger and very good looking with a tall, thin model-type body, admittedly a bit out of my league, although I've done alright for myself in the past.  I am in good shape, a former athlete and presently a weightlifter, and I am professional and reasonably successful in my field.  She was a widow with a young son.  No red flags given prior to our weddings, although she always seemed much less comfortable outside of the familiar surroundings of Brooklyn.

What happened?  She changed, a lot.  Americanized, Westernized, materialistic-ized, whatever you want to call it.  It certainly did not help that she associated with a lot of women who are from FSU in NYC who are real man eaters, women who feel nothing about chewing up and spitting out men for whatever financial gain they can reap.  These women are more like high end call girls in their approach to life and "love", and to be honest, I was shocked how much my wife seemed to embrace their values.  For these women, America is truly the land of plenty.

There you have it, in a tidy nutshell.  Over time I may add more details, but I prefer to leave it at this.  I am back to my roots, dating Latina women now for the most part.  In my personal opinion, Latinas are drama queens, emotional children at times, but are more sincere in their feelings than the FSU women that I have met.  And I'd rather deal with that kind of honest emotion than with the mercenary mindsets of many FSU women I've encountered.  No offense to those who are happily married the FSU wives, sincere wishes of long and happy marriages.

[cherokee]

... in response to Re: Hey Powerlifter....Long story made s..., posted by Powerlifter on Nov 3, 2004

"Wild at heart". It somewhat explains the pussification of men
why men cheat, why guys are gay.
Just to warn you sensitive/easily offended guys, its from a religious aspect.
I'm only half way through and it makes sense so far.
if anyone wants the author I'll check when i get home.

[LP]

... in response to you guys ever read this book?, posted by cherokee on Nov 4, 2004


...Jeez, I can't see how those three things are related. Add in religion and I can't see how it would make any sense at all. Then again, I've only concerned myself with how to avoid becoming bushwhacked. Sounds like an interesting read though.

[cherokee]

... in response to Re: you guys ever read this book?, posted by LP on Nov 4, 2004

for me this book seems to explain some of the reasons why guys go for FSU girls and why FSU girls may want us fat bald americans (and rich, but not me). Sorry for being so vague on the subject, I'm at work.
The author is John Eldridge.

LP, it would be sooo boring here without you!

[LP]

... in response to Re: Re: you guys ever read this book?, posted by cherokee on Nov 5, 2004

[This message has been edited by LP]

...Isn't he related to Elron Hubbard?

Me thinks you don't need a book to know why old fat bald men want FSU women or why they want them, for both the good and bad reasons. It isn't rocket science you know. But if using God helps to figure stuff out than I say go for it, use whatever works. I could write about my experience using introspection but I'd only add to the boredom here.

I did a little research on Eldridge and his works, read a few excerpts and the reviews on Amazon (including the one that called Wild At Heart a spiritual train wreck). While I agree with many of his points the God angle personally turns me off. I do agree most men lead lives of quite desperation (to quote Thoreau) and go to their graves with most of their dreams and desires unfulfilled. Imho how much so is usually their own fault, at least in developed countries.

Like Eldridge, I mostly agree men are born with the heart to be the things he claims (I dunno about the warrior part). I also agree with the old axiom "if you're bored with life, risk it" because nothing will make your life feel more alive than the prospect of losing it. You don't have to be reckless however, much of the satisfaction and empowerment from surviving risk comes from managing it. I also agree most men are born with an inate desire for adventure and a passion for life in general.

I think many men want to feel what Eldridge states and when unable to achieve it to their satisfaction try to plug that hole using a woman. Not to say the human desire to love and be loved isn't involved, it very much is. But a marriage and children won't be enough and come middle age most men will realize this. By then many are too set in their ways or enviornment to readily change. In fact, it can be argued that marriage and family can be detrimental to a man's psyche in critical ways, at least in their youth and on up to their 40's or so.

Using a woman to plug a hole in one's soul can be a trap. It's much like trying to live on chocolate, it's sweet but lacks the nutritional value a man needs for other reasons. Now understand, I'm not saying marriage or a healthy relationship isn't a joy and makes a great contribution, I'm only saying many men try to use it outside of it's capabilities. After all, our perceived value of something is directly proportional to our needs and the perceived contribution it makes in our lives.

It's why some men are so easily pussified. Generally speaking, the ones who're most in need are the ones who're the "happiest" after they marry. You can always tell these types in MOB, they're the ones who marry after one meeting, rave on boards about how "lucky" they were, or otherwise wax poetic about a relation that any well adjusted man would find a normal part of life. They're also the ones who often get scammed or have a marriage end up deader than an armadillo on I-35. It's because they allow their emotions to overule their intellect at some point, either during the quest for the brass ring or after they snag it.

Finally, it's important to accept that each of us is almost always responsible for what happens to us in life. Whether it happens over the longterm or in a single event, we're our own worst enemy or best friend. This may seem common sense but few ever really grasp it's importance or, even worse, chose to ignore it at a time when it counts the most.

Of course all this is simply my opinion, worth exactly what you paid for it. As for offsetting the boredom factor round these parts I wouldn't be encouraging me. I know people who believe if my IQ was any lower I'd have to be watered twice a day...

[cherokee]

... in response to John Eldridge?....., posted by LP on Nov 5, 2004

I knew the god part would scare ya
good post though....

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: John Eldridge?....., posted by cherokee on Nov 5, 2004

really don't know if one needs to read a book to understand why fat balding men go for 20 something chicks in the FSU???  Aaaahhh...it's a pretty simple equation.  Their motivation really,  as LP has mentioned,  is too simple to elaborate upon.  Cheerio, Tim

[cherokee]

... in response to Gee Cherokee,  I, posted by tim360z on Nov 7, 2004

so you're not part of the group? The group of fat balding men that is. (just my assumption from your "Their" comment.)
I've been asked the "why" question many times, usually by curious FSU women. I never spoke for the group, just myself.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Gee Cherokee,  I, posted by cherokee on Nov 8, 2004

...hear it, old, fat, balding brave

I think Timmy means something else, something more simplistic. I understood what you were getting at however.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Hey Powerlifter....Long story made s..., posted by Powerlifter on Nov 3, 2004

[This message has been edited by LP]

"These women are more like high end call girls in their approach to life and "love"..."for these women, America is truly the land of plenty"..."the mercenary mindsets of many FSU women I've encountered."

Yes indeed. In all honesty I can't say I'm suprised at your story one bit. I didn't know the details but your tale of woe fits perfectly with what I've found in the majority of FSU women I've known, both here and abroad.

Try telling this to the inexperienced or those caught up in the FSU cult mentality however. To them a failure is always the "other guy's" fault. They think it could never happen to them and it could *never* be a problem with the women. I've always been amazed that the majority of FSU MOB men can't make the connection to what they dislike about American women and why most FSU women are the way they are.

[Powerlifter]

... in response to Thanx...., posted by LP on Nov 3, 2004

LP,
I reread my previous post from yesterday, and I do not want to come off as embittered.  (Lack of sleep watching the election returns, I suppose.)  One thing that I should say is that my ex-wife is basically a very good person, and I think that if we had lived in her native country, she would have been a fine woman to spend my life with and to build a family.

But she, like many FSU women, cannot handle the numerous temptations of NYC in many cases.  And idiots make it too easy for them.  An example:  My ex was very impressed when one of her 25 year-old friends was able to find a 50+ year-old idiot guy to pay for a boob job after a few dates.  (How long do you think that relationship lasted after the surgery?)  While we were married, I saw her friends receive cars, vacations, jewelry and clothes - all of these things from guys trying to impress them - and she probably has guys giving her these things now herself.  

There are too many guys who are trying to buy these girls' affections, and the girls are more than happy to take their money.  Remember, all of these women come from a "mistress society", meaning that if they are married, their husbands will usually have one or more women on the side who expect some level of financial support.  And if the women are not married by about age 28, they will likely be one of the women on the side with their hand out to their married boyfriend.  This is pretty much an accepted way of life in most of the world, outside of the puritanical USA (and it keeps the women in line, IMO - LOL)  As a result, their value system doesn't reject the idea of using men for whatever financial gain they can reap.

This is true for many latinas that I have met also.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Re: Too many idiots, posted by Powerlifter on Nov 4, 2004

[This message has been edited by Bobby Orr]

Did you have a prenup?  If so, did it help or do you think it would have been possible and improved your outcome in retrospect?  I know the second question seems obvious, but I often hear of the prenup acting to cause a marriage to dissolve before it happens and or difficulty getting them enforced etc.  Thanks...........

[LP]

... in response to Re: Too many idiots, posted by Powerlifter on Nov 4, 2004

...but didn't feel it neccessary to comment on the antics of MOB men (or men in general) when it comes to women. My views on that are already pretty well known round these parts.

It's been demonstrated throughout history how women can render even the most focused of men into brainless zombies, dissolving them into hapless puddles of goo. Wars fought,  kingdoms lost, fortunes drained, lives destroyed...all over what a friend of mine collectively refers to as "The Power Of The Bush". Considering most women are a mass of conflicting logic it's surprising men fall so easily into it's vise-like grip. And since FSU girls (for the reasons you stated) are masters at wielding the POB, the only defense is the realization the true enemy lies within the individual exposed. It's all about control...and I'm not speaking about the women's.

Fwiw you exhibit a balanced, thoughtful, and intelligent perspective. I hope you'll continue to post when you see fit.

[wsbill]

... in response to Thanx...., posted by LP on Nov 3, 2004

In the rural parts of American vs the guy that marry and live in a big city where ones wife will communicate with other women are like.

The whole notion about not meeting a girl in the big city is insane, where as out here in the sticks where I live at.. The girl essentially move away as the job picture is bleak.

What it sounds like is that you guys marry a girl and live in a big city and when you off at work, she's meets the wrong kind of women.

I'd really love to see the demographical makeup of women in the FSU successful marriages in rural america vs the big cities.