While many of you may be getting out, have gotten out, or are thinking of getting out, I am happy to be one of the lucky ones who has married a "keeper". We will be hitting our 4th anniversary in September.
How much of it is luck? Well, in our case, a lot. My email to a Marina was routed to the wrong Marina's inbox. Marina had quit visiting the web site office to pick up emails a few months earlier, because she was disgusted with the people writing her. On some strange impulse, she decided to stop in to see what was up, as she was in the neighborhood. My letter had just arrived...
How much of it is hard work. Again, for us it was and still is a lot. We each worked hard to determine if the other person was right for us, and after feeling comfortable with each other, we both worked hard to develop our relationship into something long lasting.
How long did we take? We made our decision to get engaged within a few months, even before we met! That is extremely risky, given the circumstances and the environment out there, but we both decided to take the risk. We struck while the iron was still hot, and didn't give it a chance to grow cold.
How long did it take us to get married? Quite a while. Marina's mother needed major surgery and Marina decided to stay and watch over her while she recuperated. Not only that, but I had mistakenly told the INS to send our completed paperwork to the US Embassy in Kiev for the next stage or processing. For you old timers, you will remember that until a year or two ago, Ukrainian K1 visa processing was handled by the US Embassy in Warsaw. It took me a few months to track down where our missing paperwork was, and get it rerouted to the correct embassy. All together, I brought Marina back to America slightly over a year from our first meeting.
How picky was I? Not terribly. I was looking for someone who was a few years younger than me, who was interested in me as an individual, and who had her own sense of self. I was looking for someone who was "easy on the eyes", but I wasn't after a stellar beauty or a "hot chick". I just wanted someone whom I could stand looking at for the rest of my life. Other than that, I wasn't going to be too picky.
Did I pick any one region? No. I wrote to ladies in Russia, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Bulgaria, and Romania. I knew I wanted an Eastern European lady, but I was willing to go where I could find one. I also wrote to ladies on low cost or free sites, as I didn't want to be bled dry by site operators. I also wrote to ladies that appealed to me, despite how old the ad was. Given the exceptional response rate I achieved, old ads are just as viable as new ones.
What was my strategy? Write many, visit one. I had many correspondences going and had dozens of email folders set up to keep track of what I had talked about with each girl. Out of 60 or 70 correspondents, I got it down to 5, then 3, then finally 2 ladies. Either one would have probably done it for me. Marina beat the other lady to the punch in tying me down for a commitment. I did help the other lady land a nice solid husband in England though.
From the first "Hello" to the final "I do", how long did it take? Approximately 1 1/2 years, but remember that most of that was time in limbo, due to family and paperwork issues. In my case, I was ready to jump in, find a wife, and marry her. I set a clear strategy, followed it, and once I had a winner, I made the commitment to marry her and bring her home. A friend of mine has a saying, "Fortune favors the bold". I think you are at a disadvantage, unless you are ready to make an honest effort, be flexible in your choices, extensively qualify, make a choice, and finish the commitment fast.
This is my experience, and my own humble opinions. Take them for what they're worth. Your mileage may vary...
