That's it!

[Jay]

Hi folk's,

After just waking up on my day off after a long week of work, I opened a post and was reading. It spoke of the disgusting rotton meat smell of Kevin's cat's fart. Now I feel I must say something.

At the risk of offending some really great friend's on this board, I must say, this is getting on my nerves just a bit. I mean the story of the vulcanized pig was hilarious. Dr. Methane's detailed scientific explanation of fart's was fascinating. Stories of "farting contest's" between husband and wife are slightly humorous, if not a little strange  (IMO). However, when the post's get really graphic and disgusting, this is a bit much for me. I mean, I really donn't care about the detail's of someone's fart's, thier wife's fart's OR thier Bloody cat's fart's!! I find it gross, not to mention childish. I personally quit talking about (and lighting) my fart's in the 7th grade or somewhere there about.

Personally, fart's have never been one of my favorite thing's. Although, I must say, cutting loose can be a very good feeling when necsassary(SP?). Maybe I'm repressed, but I never heard a woman fart till I was 31, when my girlfriend at the time who was sitting with her leg's up on the arm of a chair in my apartment in the Philippines, cut loose in my direction. I was stunned! I like to have died! She on the other hand, didn't have a care in the world about it.
Soon after I was completely initiated into the world of women's fart's when my sweet little old mother-in law, cut loose an extemely loud and long one, (it would have put a "beer fart" to shame), not 5 feet from my head as I opened my eyes one morning in the province. I didn't think a fart of that magnitude was possible from an old woman. To this day, I'm still traumatized :0

Now I just spent a paragraph talking about fart's. However, I did not go into gross detail's. If we MUST have fart humor on this board, can we at least be a little less graphic?

Some of this post is tounge-in-cheek, but at the same time, I am serious. I know I don't have to read it if I don't like it, but I don't alway's know it's comming. I'm wondering, does ANYONE else feel this way or is it just me. If you do please express an opinion. If not, I'll just shut the F*** up!

Jay
P.S.- My wife and I don't have farting contest's. Are we doomed to fail?

[Howard]

... in response to That's it!, posted by Jay on May 6, 2002

...that this thread is now longer than the original offender?  LOL

Sorry, but I just don't see the harm.  Then again I think farts are hilarious  As Always I will go with the group's decision on this matter, but if I get a vote... Viva La Utot!!!  LOL  (Just spare the graphic descriptions

Keep the Far... ooops, I mean Faith!

LOL

H

[NoNamePinay]

... in response to That's it!, posted by Jay on May 6, 2002

Everyone has a different sense of humor just like everyone has their own opinion.
I'm sorry if my jokes/story about farting contest
offends/disturbs others on this Board and Ray called it strange??? I wouldn't have post that joke if I have known that others didn't like it .  
My apology to all and I promise there would be no more fart jokes from me...

Laugh & Learned,
NNP

[Jay]

... in response to Re: Everyone has a different sense of hu..., posted by NoNamePinay on May 7, 2002

Hi NNP,

Don't worry about it at all. I'm sorry I said anything. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday and made the post above before thinking it over.

Lot's of people think Jay is strange too. Don't feel bad. Like I said before. Maybe if we just leave the gross details out of the fart post's, it would be better. Just keep on posting. Don't stop because "I" said something. I'm not worth it.

Jay

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Everyone has a different sense of hu..., posted by NoNamePinay on May 7, 2002

anymore than I should feel guilty for having the tendency to laugh at this sense of humor.  Perhaps this evoked scorn from some on this board, but it also evoked some hearty belly laughter.

- Kevin

[Jay]

... in response to Don't feel bad . . ., posted by kevin on May 7, 2002

Hi Kevin,

Nobody was scorning you or trying to make you feel guilty. I just got grossed out. Sorry to laugh about the the fart video, but I really thought it was funny. I really had never heard of one and wanted to know what a fart video was all about.

I guess with a sense of humor about fart's to the extent that you have, a person might have to be in the closet about it. I know what you mean by that, as part of my sense of humor comes from the "pen". Convict humor is a bit too graphic and rough on the uninitiated too. I keep it only for those that can handle it.

Here's a dating tip for ya. Don't show your flatulance humor till the 8th date. Let her get to know you first. Most Filipina's I've met would be horrified and turned off, if that was one of the first thing's they knew about you. Kind of like the convict humor. I think it's very funny, but most people don't.

Jay

[NoNamePinay]

... in response to Re: Everyone has a different sense of hu..., posted by NoNamePinay on May 7, 2002

I mean Jay called it strange. Sorry Ray

[terry]

... in response to That's it!, posted by Jay on May 6, 2002

I was really shocked when I started reading all the post about farting. I read the post here to learn as much as I can about Asain women. I did not know that farting was a big part of their personal life, or is it?  I DO understand that we are all different in a lot of ways. However, the one thing  that I am NOT looking for is a wife that can out fart me.  Is this something common amount Asain women?  I am really having a problem seeing or understand that a real lady would do this and think it is that funny. Please understand, I do not mean anything bad by this post.  My father was a minister and some thing's were just not talked about around our house.  When he told me about the bird"s and the bee's, for 6 month's . I was thinking my mother was a bee.

Please, take this more as a question and not an attack on anyone.  I just would not know what to think if a wife,  backed up and farted on me.

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: That's it!, posted by terry on May 7, 2002

Hi Terry,

Not all Asian women are into farting. Probably no more than Western women. My wife is not a big fart fan, partly because she is a critical care nurse and that sound often means that the patient has soiled themself. Sometimes she will find humor...when "tastefully" done, as with the case of Mr. Methane. ;o))) http://www.mrmethane.com/frameset.html

As to your statement, "I just would not know what to think if a wife, backed up and farted on me." Might I offer a suggestion, light a match and send her shooting off into outer space. ;o)))

Dave H.

[Howard]

... in response to No..., posted by Dave H on May 7, 2002

Dave

You KILL ME!  LOL

H

[Dave H]

... in response to Hamilton for PRESIDENT!!!, posted by Howard on May 7, 2002

Hey H,

How about Ambassador to the Philippines? I wouldn't want to live in the White House after Bill Clinton. My heart goes out to the Bush family. The Secret Service is probably still fishing diaphragms and condoms out of the swimming pool and its filtration system. George can't let the twins swim in the pool, out of fear that they may become impregnated by chlorine resistant, little swimming Billies. You can't walk around the White House barefoot or lay on the carpets for fear of catching a disease. Bill probably installed hidden video cameras in the twins baths and bedrooms. I wouldn't be surprised if he left illicit photos of himself for them to discover.

Dave H. )))

[Ray]

... in response to Thanks H!, posted by Dave H on May 8, 2002

Will you PLEASE stop it? I can't take this anymore...

Ray

[greg]

... in response to That's it!, posted by Jay on May 6, 2002

stories. If Guys going to be Rude and Blab about Fart stories..they might as well post about digging in their nose, etc etc lol

[Stephen]

... in response to That's it!, posted by Jay on May 6, 2002

I tend to agree with you, Jay.

Fart jokes just stink up the board.

Maybe Patrick could add another section.....you know, ASIAN, LATIN, RUSSIAN, and FART.

But it can get rather juvinile.

Just my idea.

Stephen

[Jay]

... in response to Re: That's it!, posted by Stephen on May 7, 2002

n/t