Responding to Duplicate Posts

[Yorkman]

An interesting situation arises when I see the same lady posted on two or more sites.  I am dealing only with monthly fee or free sites.  At first, I thought I was being very clever to not respond to the second one I saw.  My idea was that if I responded to both, she would think or even say . . . . you nitwit, didn't you know it was me . . . . aren't you really attracted to just my characteristics, and if so, you should have realized it was me . . . . . are you just responding to every woman you see, etc.

However, it is now becoming apparent, that a very small percent of these women ever receive the messages I am sending.  For instance, Match Doctor has tons of UW in my age bracket, that meet my requirements, etc.  I have sent initial messages to to about 125.  My outgoing messages are shown in my personal folder at MD, and when the lady reads the message, a signal shows up in my folder.  Now I have found that, after about 10 days, less than 15% or so of the ladies have even checked their e-mail.  They don't have to go to the Match Doctor site to know that they have a message, because a notice is sent to their personal e-mail that a message is waiting.  So, either they rarely check their e-mail, or this e-mail account no longer exists, etc.  We just never know.

Anyway, based on the low 'open' rate, I started contacting them on the second (various) site I viewed them.  Guess what, I have gotten immediate response from some of them.  I do put a sentence in this second contact message that I previously contacted them on another site.  But none have even acknowledged or questioned that sentence.   I am curious as to why they never get notice of my first message to another site, but there is plently enough to try to get lined up for meetings without delving into that subject with them.

Now, I am switching tactics.  If I see a new lady on multiple sites, I just contact her everywhere I see her without hesitation.

[tim360z]

... in response to Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by Yorkman on Apr 4, 2004

That is probably because the entity who posted the various listings on different sites is probably different.  Are the email addresses the same?

[Yorkman]

... in response to multiple sites listings, posted by tim360z on Apr 7, 2004

On these sites, personal e-mail addresses are not shown.  You send your message thru the site and it automatically shows up in the other persons personal e-mail.  In first message, you tell your own personal e-mail (if you want to), then you get message back from them direct to yourself without passing through the web-site.

[tim360z]

... in response to Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by Yorkman on Apr 4, 2004

Our computer/internent use and availibility is quite different than in the FSU.  Here,  most have a computer/internet both at home and at work and it is a tool to use on a daily basis.  FSU:  Few girls have computer/internet at home.  A few have access at work.  Most have neither and must pay at an internet cafe and they just don't usually go to one everyday and check their email. And many do not have computer/internet skill sets.

Just because a little "flag" at MD tells you the email you sent has been read....it does not mean the particuliar girl indeed read it.  It well could be an "agency" which placed the personal for the girl-- read it.  Possibly you will get a "canned" reply to your 1st letter.

Also, telephone fees for internet connections and minutes used can be pricey relative to their income if they have a home computer. Still,  thats rare.

Think of computers/internet as a car there.  Most girls do not own one or have experience at driving one. Although you probably drive yours everyday. It is a cultural/economic difference.

Hope this helps.

[Yorkman]

... in response to computer/internet, posted by tim360z on Apr 7, 2004

Tim, thanks for your comments, but like the others you are not reading my posts very carefully.

You say:  "Just because a little "flag" at MD tells you the email you sent has been read....it does not mean the particuliar girl indeed read it. It well could be an "agency" which placed the personal for the girl-- read it. Possibly you will get a "canned" reply to your 1st letter."

My problem is not with the situations where the 'flag' indicates the message has been read.  When the 'flag' shows up, I get over 90% response rate from these women.

And, the responses are NOT FROM AN AGENCY except for maybe 5 out of 500 (going back to my earlier years experience also).

I don't understand why most here are so anxious to somehow prove that it is not a good idea to use these free or monthly fee based match sites.

Yes, maybe others have had trouble with scammers and agencies when they contact teeny boppers and 20 something photo models.

But I have had virtually ZERO experience with that when I deal with ladies in their 30s and above.

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: computer/internet, posted by Yorkman on Apr 7, 2004

Never used MD,  so my "flag" assumption was incorrect. Also,  I was not encouraging or discouraging you from using any "fee-based sites" for your communications and I fail to see me mentioning anything like that in my post to you.

[Yorkman]

... in response to Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by Yorkman on Apr 4, 2004

Men, I appreciate your comments, but I am having trouble seeing the relevancy of your comments to my post.

I clearly stated, I am only contacting ladies on match sites that are free or montly fee based.  NO AGENCIES.

And, I clearly stated that it is the 'open' rate that is low for them, not the response rate.

Once they actually 'open' my message, the response rate is around 90%.

[Jack]

... in response to Response to men, posted by Yorkman on Apr 6, 2004

Yorkman, don't you find that a large % of these women on the so called free sites are really with agencies, placed there most times by agencies?

[Yorkman]

... in response to % of ladies from agencies, posted by Jack on Apr 7, 2004

Jack, as I stated before, this is not a problem.  Maybe 5 out of 500 I contacted said in 2nd or 3rd e-mail that I had to make further contact via an agency.

But again, I go only for ladies over 30.  Many, many, many of them have their own computer at home, others have daily access to computer at work, others use friends, others can afford to go to Internet cafe.

I just received a message from a lady this morning (3rd from her).  She described her home computer . . . It was newer and more powerful than my own!!

Here in USA great computers are getting extremely cheap.  Look in last weekends ads for Office Max and Office Depot.  You can get very fast 'e-machine' brand with monitor and printer for $397 after a bunch of rebates.  I suspect similar deals are available over there.

[lswote]

... in response to Response to men, posted by Yorkman on Apr 6, 2004

Actually I think most of the posts were relevant even if it wasn't clear to you.  I think what they are saying is that the women may post their profiles on many sites initially and then not return to all the sites and check for received email because it is difficult for them to do so they end up just going to one or two sites that are easier for them to use and forsake the rest, resulting in a high number of women not ever even opening their email.

I think that another point trying to be made is that it isn't a bad idea to have a little suspicion about a woman posting to multiple sites as there are a lot of scammers out there, but try to moderate that suspicion with a certain amount of understanding that legitimate women may use the same approach as the scammers so you can't make a blanket generalization about a woman's motives for using multiple sites but instead must get to know the woman and learn more about her and what kind of person she is.

[thesearch]

... in response to Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by Yorkman on Apr 4, 2004

These ladies can receive a ton of responses and many are just lonely men who are getting off on communicating with a beautiful lady but never plan on doing anything other than writing for entertainment for a variety of reasons.

So, these ladies start to realize that there is a whole lot of garbage that they have to wade through in order to find one decent guy. Very discouraging for them so, expect a low response rate.

My take is if a particular lady really has your attention, do not hesitate to duplicate letters, it only increases your odds and if she does she both of your letters, well maybe this suggests that you are more interested in her than others. Also, I would see which web site the ladies are responding from. There may be something to that also.

[WestLife]

... in response to Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by Yorkman on Apr 4, 2004

Yorkman, there are things that depend on other things. What looks nice in the beginning gets deplorable in the end and vice versa. Let's think logically. Say, a single Russian/Ukrainian woman makes up her mind to find a foreign lifetime partner. Without knowing the whole process well she places her ad on different (numerous) sites. Probably she thinks this tactics will yeild the results faster. Time passes and she starts getting letters from candidates. It is very easy for you to tack the way and status of the letter sent from your computer. And in her case it's much more difficult. Not every woman has a computer at home not to mention the Internet access. Moreover she can't reply all the letter (what if she receives hundred a week). Apparently she would prefer to go to her local agency that informs her about the letters received, translate them for her and so on. Gradually she refuses from other sites' services.
You are persistant enough to contact a lady everywhere! I really respect such strain. I wish you patience and best of luck.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Re: Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by WestLife on Apr 6, 2004

Agency owners and their paid employees should disclose which agency they work for.  It is clear you have a fiduciary relationship with an agency.  Why are you not coming forward and stating it?  Jack is very clear that he represents Firstdream.  Other agency representatives who infrequently post so state so.  It would be nice of you if you told us something about yourself so we know where you are coming from.

[AllenB]

... in response to Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by Yorkman on Apr 4, 2004

Yorkman, you must be kind and understanding and try not to be too suspicious although never let you guard down.  Make sense?

Here's what I am getting at.  My wife, who is a very intelligent girl, is from Ukraine and is highly educated, however, we take for granted that highly educated means computer literate.  It was not until she came to live here that she truly began to see the power and usefulness of the PC.

Yorkman, we live in a country that has as it's motto "Home of the free, land of the brave."  What we see on the internet is not what they see.  The internet is seen with a great deal of suspicion for many reasons.  First it is misunderstood because many, many men approach these girls for "internet marriage" but really want to convince them to make nake pictures at the least and may want to imprison them and sell them on the black market as sex slaves at the worst.  This is no joke, it is very prevalent there.  Next, if they have been registered with a "reputable agency" then most of the men that write to them will tell them how beautiful they are and how terrific life would be together but they will never meet any of these men.  Case in point:  My wife Anna was on the boards for the period 10/02 through 4/03.  She went into a local agency in Krivoy Rog after we me because it was the only way that we could communticate via internet without many problems.  In that period of time, she received hundreds of letters and emails from men in the U.S. Canada, England, Australia, Germany, etc. and they all promised her the moon but nobody ever offered to come visit her.  Good thing because she was really off the market but we needed the agency to translate our letters and that was the only way they would agree because of course they would sell her information.  Whatever.

I guess what I am getting at is that there are a lot of girls, including my wife's friends, who are all beautiful, that would like nothing more than to find a decent man that will love them and not exploit them.

Becareful what you do because you might just inadvertently promote that problem.

[Yorkman]

... in response to Re: Responding to Duplicate Posts, posted by AllenB on Apr 6, 2004

Allen, I have no idea how your comments relate to what I have written!   Sorry  :-))