It's taken me awhile to get around to posting this, but here goes...
Flyboy and I must have been doing the same thing....cleaning our computers of junk. I too, was removing old links in the favorites folder and clicked the one pointing here. Flyboy was the first message on the list at that time, so I read it quickly. Then I looked around a bit and saw a few familiar names.
Not sure who might remember me, but there's still the last two posts in the archives. Like I said, it's been awhile since I was around here.
My story is not as exciting as Flyboy's, but I'll share a bit of it anyway.
I became interested in FSU women after becoming disappointed in the women that I had been contacted by via e-mails from Internet personal ads. A year before that, I had actually chatted with a Russian lady on ICQ, for several months. Never once even thinking anything romantic about it. Only upon her sending me pictures of her new husband and one of her holding visa papers, while in front of the Canadian Embassy, did I understand that she married a foreigner. So, with her I the back of my mind, I started writing to FSU women in the winter of 2000. I chose all free sites for my contacts. I didn't want to spend a dime writing to anyone that I didn't know.
I received several replies and most of those sent pictures. I chose only a few of them to go beyond one letter. Of those, I had only one that I just loved from the fist time I saw her picture. While she wasn’t the first that I wrote to, she was the one that I really wanted to have write me back.
When January 2001 came, I had hopes of writing to three ladies (still, really liking only one). One from Moldova disappeared after one of her co-workers started editing my letters and putting his friends pictures in them. A Russian, that looked exactly like a young Doris Day, also just disappeared. But my favorite lady kept writing. Even though I had been a bit rude in one letter after I didn’t hear from her in a few days. She later told me that it really helped her realize that I was much more serious than other men that wrote her in prior times. So, she invited me to make a visit to test me how much more serious I was. I wrote no less than one letter each and every day to her. Usually she could reply about every other day or so.
The trip was planed and I arrived in Kazan, Tatarstan, Russia on March 8, 2001 and was released by passport control shortly after 10 PM. I was met by her and both her father and sister. The next day was half spent with a tour guide traveling around Kazan. It’s the capital of Tatarstan. Then it was off to Naberezhnye Chelny, her home town, to meet her mom and son.
Her father wanted to show me their Dacha, so she and I, along with mom and dad, hopped in the car and drove about 5 miles away. The place was closed due to so much snow everywhere, so we went driving through the birch tree forests. It was so beautiful with the snow covering everything and the birch trees scattered through tall pines. Then we learned that her parents would be leaving for their home in a village, later that day.
I felt that I needed to get her father’s permission to marry her before they left. So, I had to figure out how to go about that. After talking to her and asking if she’d marry me, she didn’t answer, but looked in the dictionary and pointed to a word….”concur”. Hmmmm, I had to read her dictionary a few times to realize she meant that she agreed to marry me. So then she had to explain things to her father. He had a lot of words, none of which I understood, until her finished. Then I understood he agreed when I saw that she was happy.
After almost two weeks there, building a computer for her and meeting many friends, she and I took the train to Moscow. We didn’t spend too long there, but we did visit Red Square.
I went back for the summer and to get married. We first married at ZAGS #4 in Moscow and again later at her local Orthodox church. I was impressed by both weddings and encourage anyone that can find the time to be there long enough, do it that way. While ZAGS is a government wedding, it is nothing stuffy and 1940’s style. We had live music and everything was filmed and put on a VHS tape. We can look at it now and laugh at how I had no clue what the lady was saying. I said, “da” only after I understood they wanted a response from me and then I tried to put the ring on her hand too early. It was just great.
The church service was so elegant and full of ceremony, it was like a fairy tale. If you’ve not been to an Orthodox wedding, try to attend one someday. It is quite elaborate and interesting.
The Embassy lost our son’s visa package so they never gave it to us. We thought it was included in her package and even the airport personel thought so. The gate attendants in Frankfurt didn’t agree and we were a few minutes shy of being sent back to Moscow. But we finally got a call back from the Embassy in Frankfurt that said Moscow had approved him, they just lost his package. We missed our flight by 3 minutes and were booked onto a Delta flight later that day.
So much has happened since arriving back to the US August 31, 2001. We have a beautiful little munchkin, that will be 2 this April. We sold our home in Georgia and moved to the suburbs of Cincinnati. Russians don’t know how easy it is for Americans to move. We don’t have to get anyone’s permission nor get unregistered and re-registered in a home.
Natalia has a job doing the exact same job as her part-time job in Russia. She works in the perinatal office in a hospital doing ultrasounds. She has passed the ARDMS Physics and OB/GYN. Soon she will tackle the Abdomen modality, too. After that, she will begin studies in order to pass the exams and try to get her residency.
It has been wonderful. But, it is not at all easy. This is not an endeavor for the weak willed. Many Russian women will be 100% dependent on the man for very basic things. And it may continue for a year or three. It can tax your patience till you almost explode. But it has rewards that far outweigh any negatives. It’s hard to describe the difference between being married to an American and a Russian, but there just is a wonderful, pleasant difference.
I, for one, am very glad that I took the road less traveled and did something out of the ordinary. I had friends say that they thought I truly went crazy when I said that I was going to Russia to meet a woman. They didn’t tell me this until after I had done it. They then saw that I had good reasons to do it and went into it with my eyes wide open.
I hope everyone finds a special love that keeps you warm and happy. Just be honest with yourself and them about who you are and things should work out well for you.
Yeah, and don’t forget you need to go over there. Show them you are serious and you’ll do much better than the man who always promises to visit but never goes.
Chris in Ohio
