I'm Out of the Game........................

[Globetrotter]

... in response to I don't get it.  Are you saying that if ..., posted by Stevo on Dec 9, 2003

Not only are you comments wrong as well as useless, we know you love to incite.  Aren't you one of the boys that married a hottie young enough to be your daughter?  Save lots of money....you're gonna need it!

[that guy]

... in response to Re: I don't get it.  Are you saying that..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 10, 2003

Marry a woman who will contribute to your financial future. One that has an education with good job prospects. One that could actually owe you money in a divorce settlement.
 There are many women who a man could help to make a decent wage here in the USA.
 Now I sound like an American woman who intends to make out on your good fortune.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Re: I don't get it.  Are you saying that..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 10, 2003

Sounds like you want a marriage with no downside risk and you can't have it that way.  I think the standard deal should be more like: Let me keep what I started with and we'll splint it 50/50 from then on and I get to keep any inheritances.  It gets more complicated with a business since you can't let your partners get screwed in a divorce situation.  You should have tried to make the prenup situation and the reasons for it clear early on especially from the business standpoint.  I think the EE women have a hard time grasping the significance and just think we're greedy.  

As rich as you guys talk, $25k should be a drop in the bucket.  $25k is a new tile roof for the garage of your mansion or the price of one of your used cars.  Is happiness worth more that one of your pricey toys?

[Stevo]

... in response to Re: I don't get it.  Are you saying that..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 10, 2003

ggg

[Stevo]

... in response to Re: I don't get it.  Are you saying that..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 10, 2003

ggg

[LP]

... in response to I don't get it.  Are you saying that if ..., posted by Stevo on Dec 9, 2003

..you livin in the dark ages there Stevo? It's 2004 buddy, almost no one pays alimony any more. At least no one who doesn't have Pee Wee Herman as a lawyer.

Just because puttin up with a guy like you for 5 years makes 25Gs look like chicken feed doesn't mean it crosses over to his situation.

[Stevo]

... in response to Alimony?...., posted by LP on Dec 10, 2003

ggg

[Albert]

... in response to I'm Out of the Game........................, posted by Globetrotter on Dec 9, 2003

I agree completely with your feelings and actions.  I think I would have made the same conclusions and decisions that you did.

But there are a lot of variables at work here.

One feels that if it were true love, that the woman would just agree to anything that you proposed since she wasn't really being asked to kick in any money such as for an investment, etc.  The $5,000 you offered would probably be more than she made on a yearly basis, so in worst case scenario for her, she would be leading a much better life with you for X years, and then have her net worth increase by 5,000X in case of divorce.  Not a bad investment at all for her.

But, on the other hand, some of the guys have a point that there are some advantages to having a woman around who will just not agree to anything, at least the first time around.  It shows a certain savy which would serve you well when you think of husband and wife as being partners.  Maybe she wouldn't be directly involved in your business, but a woman who is intelligent and strong willed can still be a big asset in helping manage the family affairs from minor things such as supervising the plumbers, etc., to helping you woo clients at dinner parties, etc.

But still, I would agree with your actions.

[that guy]

... in response to I'm Out of the Game........................, posted by Globetrotter on Dec 9, 2003

I'm sorry to hear the news friend. You were smart to act the way you did and hopefully your good times in life will return to you in the near future.

[Ken W]

... in response to I'm Out of the Game........................, posted by Globetrotter on Dec 9, 2003

I dont know if you mentioned it beforehand or just dropped it like a bombshell, but NO one likes the idea of a prenup, even if they understand that it is a nessisary evil. For her especially, it smacks of control, doubt, lack of trust, expectation of failure, all of those nagging fears she goes to sleep with at night. You would not believe what goes through those women's heads when time gets short. You have the overwhelming advantage here, and she knows it - Lord it over her and she will resent it.

That being said, you have a right to ask for a prenup, and I'd have one too if I had that much to lose.

I don't know all of the details,obviously, but the reaction that you posted would seem to be normal under the circumstances. I would have little respect for a spouse who would blithely sign whatever I put in front of her.

Was giving up a relief? It sure would have been when I was doing this. It's really easy to find an excuse to NOT do this crazy thing and go that last mile - But I'm not so sure I would give up a two year investment on the basis of one bad night.

Either way, good luck. you are an old hand around here and will be missed.

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Re: I'm Out of the Game...................., posted by Ken W on Dec 9, 2003

No, it is not a relief to quit, but a quiet sadness, kind of like a divorce you never wanted.  The paperwork never scared me as I export equipment all over the world.  Try getting permission to export with customs and excise, State Dept. approvals...that's tough.  And, it has not been two years, but three.

She was well aware of my need for a prenup as I described my divorce to her.  She was aware of the amazing rights she would have once here...more than me, thus the need to level the playing field.  A car title would have been in her name for openers.  I don't plan on living here forever, so the next place I buy, she would have been on the title document, and she knew this.  

So, yea, I'm disappointed but not depressed.  Life goes on.

[Ken W]

... in response to Re: Re: I'm Out of the Game................, posted by Globetrotter on Dec 9, 2003

Well, sorry to hear that Globe...Don't give up on international dating though, whether it be Eastern Europe, Germany, South America or whatever. At least you understand that the world of women doesn't stop at the county line, which is a mental leap 99% of the world never makes

Again, good luck man

[LP]

... in response to I'm Out of the Game........................, posted by Globetrotter on Dec 9, 2003

[This message has been edited by LP]

...the two guys you wanna meet are KingDante and The PansyMan? A pig farmer and a guy who is the antithesis of masculinity? Or was the "powder dry" comment separate?

About the other thing, good for you. However, I bet you're  simply over reacting to the situation and you'll feel different in a few weeks. I'll even hazard a guess things will turn out quite different in time. Even guys like us have to sometimes struggle to prevent emotion from overuling intellect. We're all afraid...it's the human condition.

If not, forget most advice offered here and do what you think is right for you...not any woman. And remember, there are plenty of fish in the MOB sea. Regardless of what you may now think this woman is not special (no woman is) and there are plenty more where she came from. Remember, they're all pink inside. No woman is worth chasing beyond a certain hassle, there are too many to think otherwise. And none are worth dying for. (killing for yes, dying for...no

Keep in mind you'll have to protect yourself from *any* woman you marry, MOB or domestic. Stick to your prenup guns though, you can be flexible to some extent and try to be fair. If you live in a community property state all the better.

Until then do as I: Find a decent one to shack up with, enjoy life, and keep your hand in the search...things will work out at some point. Keep one eye open and above all else don't devote an excessive amount of your life to finding a mate, it's the worst attribute of MOB I can think of and the greatest disservice you can do yourself in general. There is no compelling reason to legally have some woman's hooks in you. It's nice, but not essential for a fulfilling life. You're an abberation among MOB guys and although many are too desparate to understand this viewpoint I think you do.

But I'll bet you're not finished with this particular woman just quite yet. Me thinks I'll wait a few weeks before I accept this tale of woe as chiseled in stone...

[jrm]

... in response to I'm confused...., posted by LP on Dec 9, 2003

n/t

[LP]

... in response to and you said "I was inflamatory&quo..., posted by jrm on Dec 11, 2003

[This message has been edited by LP]

...nah, it'd just go to waste.