MIL due in 12 days! What am I gonna' do?...

[Stevo]

This is her first visit to USA.  Should be REAL interesting.  I haven't seen this woman since my trip to Moscow back in October 1999 (and then only for 1 evening).  Oh well, you gotta' make do.  She's staying with us until the 8th of January...I hope we don't all kill each other...LOL.

Stevo

[SteveM]

... in response to MIL due in 12 days!  What am I gonna' do..., posted by Stevo on Dec 5, 2003

I am now a veteran of three MIL visits (the last one was also with our 13-year old niece).  So far, I have been fairly lucky.  My MIL is fairly low key about how things should be done and not too hard to be around.  However, I can suggest the following:

1.  Do sit down and try to learn as much additional Russian as possible both before and during her visit.  It will make you less dependent on your wife to translate, plus you may be able to figure out more of what is being said behind your back!

2.  Try to work out your work schedule so you can take her to do some things while your wife is at work.  Good things are those that do not require extensive verbal conversation or reading.  Among the trips that worked best for me were art galleries and botanical gardens.

3.  Do suggest to your wife that just because her mother is here does not mean that you two should not get one or two nights out by yourself.  In our case, the only major fight during the last visit was resolved by my wife taking a night off from her visitor and us going out.

4.  If you have kids, make sure that you comply with the well-understood rules about having warm breakfasts and avoiding cold drinks in the winter!

5.  Remember that the last few days are very emotional and hard for both of them.  A good time to catch up on work, clean up your office (if you have one at home), or do stuff with the kids.

Hope this helps...

[KenC]

... in response to MIL due in 12 days!  What am I gonna' do..., posted by Stevo on Dec 5, 2003

Stevo,
I have had my MIL visit three times and my FIL once.  It really isn't that bad at all.  You may feel a bit of an outsider in your own home because of being boxed out with all the Russian being spoken, but you wifey will be on cloud nine.  Expect some very well cooked dinners though.  Your MIL may also re-aline your wife's new found American ways back to her Russian roots.  All in all, I have enjoyed the in-laws visits.  It will be very helpful if your wife is independently mobil.  Good luck.
KenC
p.s. (I LOL at your profile and read it to my wife)

[John K]

... in response to MIL due in 12 days!  What am I gonna' do..., posted by Stevo on Dec 5, 2003

Are you taking any vacation days off to be with them?  Do you have any interesting local sites available to take her to?  Museums?  Galleries?  If you aren't careful, wifey might take MIL shopping at the local mall and elsewhere...

If your wife's Ukrainian, you might want to brush up on a card game named Durak (translation: Stupid).  Ukrainians play Stupid a lot.  If you learn it, you can spend your nights playing cards, instead of spending money.

You might also want to invest in some Russian videos and or books, to break up the boredom that will set in over time.  My experience with inlaws tends to indicate that you'll want something for a diversion now and again, or you might be stuck with a building powder keg...

Now might be a good time to talk with the missus and see what MIL's interests are.  With a little preparation beforehand, you might be able to set something up just for her.  Bonus points if you do.

Best of luck, Steve.  I hope it goes well for you.

[SteveM]

... in response to Best of Luck!, posted by John K on Dec 5, 2003

Sorry to run on, but this one reminded me of another worthwhile activity--watching American videos.  Some of them do not translate well to Russian, and my MIL enjoyed watching them with my wife being able to translate.  Once again, you have to think about what may work best in terms of minimizing the translation burden.