trip report part 5

[genoramix]

hi all,

Russian girls are weird. period.

So after my evening at the waterfront and a good night sleep, i had no dates anymore...since i'm leaving on friday i thought it maybe wouldn't be worth it to look for a potential wife again.
After a pretty boring day though i called the agency to set me up with one or 2 girls. It was too late though for that day, so i went to the waterfront again in hope to see Aliona. It pretty much sucked because everything was almost empty and after a shashlik i decided to check the club nearby(piranha). Almost no one there, and i wasn't feeling like making approaches that night so i left. After my traditonal meeting with the militsia i went home and slept.

Then i called the agency to see what they were up to with my meetings. I spoke to Jack(not Bragg, Scaline, ALIR owner) which had read my posts about Olga and suggested me they could call her to see if she was still interested or not. I agreed although i felt a little ankward to this since it felt like a 14 year old method(you ask to friends to check if all is ok..) In between Oksana was interested to meet me but actually i couldn't reach her at her place. So after trying to call Aliona and getting the same crazy woman again(i guess her neighbours, goddamm party lines) i called Jack again and he had his secretary to speak with Olga who said she was interested and that i should give her a call...

What the F**ck?

So I called her and she was really sweet on the phone, apparently glad to hear that i was ok, and wondered what i had been doing the last 2 days. Anyway, i set up a meeting at VOlzhky pizzeria with her for the same evening. Then i got news from Oksana who sent me an sms.
Called her, meeting tomorrow morning, tell you later what happened. Apparently this will be again a meeting where i'll have to use my dicitionary a lot because her english seems quite bad...

So...was slowly time for my meeting with Olga, so i took a cab, and arrived 10 minutes late. she was there waiting, and we met like 2 usual friends so nothing special. I was looking for the good moment to tell her what i thought when she started on the subject, and seemed a little pissed that i used the agency to clear my personal problems. She told me that if sth was wrong i should speak to her about it first, and didn't seem to understand why i thought she didn't want to meet me. Gosh wasn't that obvious???
So i clarified the situation and she explained me that was pretty much the way she was, that she was interested but she had a hard week and when i called her the sunday morning she was coming back from a terrible driving lesson with her father who nearly made her cry, thus her unusual mood.

Then i was p**ssywhipped again...I wanted to be  a bit cold and indifferent and have a reproach tone in my voice but i just couldn't...I'm such a bad actor in front of her...I just told her that i was expecting to some better reactions from her if she wanted us to continue. But now that i think about it i wasn't really as though as i wanted to be. (she just makes me melt with those little green eyes and that angel smile)

So we ate pizza and then went for a walk on the street(holding hands now) She took me to some romantic place but a silly russian had sh**tty music very loud in his car which broke a little the "magic", if magic there was.
Then on a square bench and then some kissing, instigated by me but to which she responded quite good. Then again a walk and then we came to her bus stop. She wanted to go back home and i was expecting her to come with me at the cab station. Then surprise she was going to take the bus there. I looked at her with a puzzled look and she asked me what i was thinking. I told her i didn't knew where the sputnik was(theater near the cab station). She laughed and told me that we had been at the same place same street one week earlier, and was surprised i didn;t remember how to get there by myself. Then she accompanied me and it's true that it wasn't far(200 m) and on the same street.
A few little goodbye kisses then near the cab station, and  she took her bus telling me to call her the next day(with lipstick everywhere on her face, was quite a funny sight unfortunately for her she didn't see i was showing that before getting on the bus)

So again i found a weird girl...I like her, there was a lot of improvement compared to what the last days have been, the only problem is there were those last days...Anyway i know i'll be back in Volgograd, and i don't want to get engaged or anythingg right now, so i guess i have nothing to lose if i go on with this relationship. Apparently she doesn't want a commitment right now either,  so everything perfect for now...no strings attached... Just a good test would have been if i had stayed one day more i would have been there for her sister wedding anniversary. If she had invited me it would be a really good sign. But she already knows i am leaving on friday:(((

If someone has a little test idea though it would be welcome

Till later,

Patrick

[UnitedNut]

... in response to trip report part 5 , posted by genoramix on Aug 19, 2003

Thanks for the trip report!

[thesearch]

... in response to trip report part 5 , posted by genoramix on Aug 19, 2003

Hey Patrick,

Thanks for the trip reports. So you had to take some heat. )

Some people and their responses will be diplomatic and others will not and both approaches quite frankly have their values as well as their drawbacks. However, from your posts there is the appearance that you were not functioning totally in the real world to some degree but in the world of imagined reality so to speak. Hey, if it is true, (it also appeared to me that such was the case) it is something everyone goes through to varying degrees, some learn it faster than others, some never learn, some have it down pat and then have a brain fart and revert.

The point here is listen to what people have to say, don't get defensive, take everything with a grain of salt, be honest with yourself as to where there may be some truth and then correct your thinking where appropriate.

I once was a little like you or should I say as I perceive you, and I have gone through it all to the other side. I will give you some comments that have become my philosophy whether right or wrong. I also do not profess to understand women or to be any expert. This is merely behavior that I drifted into.

First of all, I never outwardly act impressed by a lady that I really do not know. I act as a gentleman and do the things that such does but do not act impressed no mater how hot she is and just take it in stride as though I could take her or leave her so to speak. It has to be a confidence that does not display anything that is viewed as arrogance whatsoever. For goodness sake, why should one act any different. The person behind that outwardly beauty, that you might be interested in has not yet revealed who she is. There is no reason to be impressed. She is nothing but an unknown entity at this point. She should be left with the subtle impression that she needs to impress you with who she is as exterior beauty will not seal the deal.

Until you know what is behind the package you should not show over interest. That only suggests that you are stupid and can fall for a pretty face and thus you are superficial. Women do not really like that at all at some level. They want to be liked for who they are even though they also want you to like them for their looks. They want to feel that they are the most beautiful woman in the world to you and there is a time for that, but it ain't now.

Just approach it like you would a business transaction assessing it all before biting/buying. You may complement her on her appearance and you should do so but, do not over do it. You should conduct yourself as though you expect to be with a woman that is as beautiful as her.

Never over chase a woman. (BTW - if it is not clear, all of these are rules that apply to the investigative process not an established relationship) Consider women who do not give you all the clues that they are interested as not being interested. I am not saying drop them but expect that you will but you are willing to give her a little more time to come around. Some women are slow out of the shoot for many reasons, so give a woman the opportunity to show you interest. Some are very interested but won't let you know right away either so, allow for that.

You need to feel that you deserve a beautiful woman in your heart. If you do not, it is not going to be as easy. You need to do a personal assessment and acknowledge your good points and pat yourself on the back as well as assess your weak points and take action to change so that weaknesses start to evolve to becoming strengths. This is something we should all be doing anyway for ourselves and not for a woman.

Ask a woman that is a friend who is honest what changes would make you more attractive to women. I did and boy did I discover a few things I did not wanna hear. If you get defensive about what you hear you ain't gonna change, you are going to justify what you are. That is exactly what I did at first. But darn, time proved the advice was correct. I just could not see myself as others did. Not an uncommon problem.

Good luck to you. Oh by the way. Let me you know a little known fact - LP is not a guy. She is one of the hottest things you will ever come across so take her advice. She is hear to help out all of us losers. so take her advice and you will do better.

Of course that is bull LOL but it could have been that way. His advice mirrors one lady friend I have and what would be her comments.

Good luck to you

[LP]

... in response to () , posted by thesearch on Aug 22, 2003

... You talkin bout me?

lol, not a bad post Doc, a little touchy feely for me but nicely done. Lots of truth in there, especially when it comes to over-chasing them. Hell, I never chase them, I let them chase me while letting them think I'm chasing them. Works most times and if it doesn't, who cares? I consider them lucky to have had the oppurtunity.

Your lady friend sounds interesting, I'd sure like to know what it was she said that you didn't want to hear. Frankly, I think yer a pretty good catch myself. Your other lady friend? Well, you two should get along great eh? If not, I should definately meet her.

[RickM]

... in response to trip report part 5 , posted by genoramix on Aug 19, 2003

Why always at the "water-front","street-bench","beach" or "nite-club" etc.....

Why haven't you snatched one of these ladies you like,grabbed a bite "togo" along with a bottle or 2 of some high octane champgane and invited them back to "your' place for the night and see how things roll along...

Or better yet...Pick up some things at the open -air markets and take one back home with ya for a good ole-fashioned USA cooked meal along with a good back-up stash of alcohol for dessert...It's no mystery most R/W like to drink and it's a good excuse for them as to why they were so "loose" the nite before.........

Gee...All that way for a few lip-stik marks on the face...
I'd be totally "bummed-out" by now according to your story....Maybe even considering a "air-line penalty fee" for an early arrival back home....

No pun intended personally to YOU Patrick....
It's just what I'd be doing by now...
One thing's for sure...If I'm gonna hook up with a lady at "any" level,I'm gonna know get to know just how intimate and experienced she is or cab be "back at the ranch" before I will be making any type of opinion about her...

SHEEEEET,I could play games like you described at the local playground or near-by amusement park with-out all that traveling and expenses...Why all the way to there
A "lot" of the "mystery" you write about would have been answered in letters long before I arrived there to meet them....

[tbirdjoy]

... in response to Re: trip report part 5 - "GEEEESH&q..., posted by RickM on Aug 20, 2003

I think you armchair quarterbacks ought to leave your criticisms of Patrick’s reports to yourselves.  There’s nothing worse then a bunch of guys begging for trip reports and then attacking an author when he does post a report.  I would venture that most guys won’t post their experiences for fear of being hammered.  I would also bet that the majority of men on this board have not made “the trip” yet or have not been successful in their trip but still delight in finding fault.  I for one am always glad to read about someone’s adventures, and I will leave my opinions about their “dating style” to myself and be happy that someone is having a fun vacation and willing to share in such a public arena. That’s my 2 cents.   Thanks Patrick for your reports.

Mark

[RickM]

... in response to Re: Re: trip report part 5 - "GEEEE..., posted by tbirdjoy on Aug 20, 2003

Armchair q-back...?
Try again...Read "my" profile...Been there,done it and return for a month every year visiting her reltives all over the world...
And...Still married...Can't help but wonder Mark if "you'd" made things a little clearer from the beginning if "you'd"  be divorced from #1 or not and on your 2nd already...

This is NOT a game when a guy corresponds with a lady half-way across the world...goes through all the beauracratic red tape getting proper traveling documentations....Spends a "tidy-purse" on airfares,accomodations etc...
The post below me is 100% correct...This is NOT a GAME...And these ladies NEED a better example to realise that...

When I traveled to meet my "now" wife,I asked her "every question" you could imagine while writing her before I met her...I "knew" for her it wasn't a game or a "let's see what happens if I like you when you step of the plane" type of meeting...And you know what,if she'd never answered all them questions I asked her,I'd never went all the way to Central Asia just to meet her.As it turned out...By the time I got there to meet her there was "very little" left to imagination and chance...If it takes a million questions or a million photos or whatever,so be it...This is not a game for kids wanting to meet a foreigner on a maybe yes or maybe no whim...This is all about "lifetime" relationships and these gals need to realise a guys intentions and "HER" intentions "before" he arrives...That includes the ladies family and friends.They ALL should know about what is going on BEFORE you arrive if she is planning truthfully to leave them all behind and come live with YOU in the future.Sorry...I just don't see this method of developing a relationship as a "connect the dots as you go along" method....

No...Nothing in life has garauntees but I'd be dam if I'd travel half across the world to meet someone or more than one unless I felt the relationship was at least a little serious....I can have "casual" flings in my backyard...I don't need to travel half-way across the world to do that and help it become the "norm" for corresponding LONG-DISTANCE ladies....IT'S NOT A GAME...

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: trip report part 5 - "G..., posted by RickM on Aug 21, 2003

I corresponded quite a bit with my current fiancee. Granted for only about 4 months but I wrote a LOT & called her every other day. We both knew quite a bit about each other. The only thing was the usual crap about no "chemistry" when we meet in person that we here about so much here. When we met at the airport it was as if we'd known each other for a long time. I knew by the time we had dinner THAT night that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I proposed to her the next day. Oh well, many here called me a fool & idiot & I don't remember what else. Or they said what is the rush. The rush? I met the girl of my dreams. Why would I waste time? I also don't adhere to the "grass is greener" philosphy everyone seems to have. "she is the only one you met. There could be many others..."etc. I for one am happy with my choice. To each his own. But it is NOT a game. She KNEW I was corresponding with others & she knew I COULD go see others. Her FAMILY knew about me. Her father picked me up with her at the airport I stayed at THEIR house during the duration of my stay. I WAS practically like one of the family. I felt extremely confortable with the methods I chose. Having had an eye opening experience the first time I was VERY prepared this second trip.

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: trip report part 5 - "G..., posted by RickM on Aug 21, 2003

Rick,
Good post.
Hope all is well with
your bride and child.
WmGO

[RickM]

... in response to Re: Re:  "GEEEESH"........., posted by WmGo on Aug 21, 2003

eating lot's of hydro-tomatoes and growing like a weed....
What more can I say...
Thanks for the good wishes...Hope all is going well there....

[LP]

... in response to Re: Re:  "GEEEESH"........., posted by WmGo on Aug 21, 2003

...off topic but what in the heck is goin on down there? Care to comment? Which side you on? Does it go or stay? I swear...you folks down in the Belt never cease to amaze me. ;-)

[WmGo]

... in response to Hey WmGo..., posted by LP on Aug 21, 2003

I have mixed thoughts and feelings. The Chief Justice
is correct from a legal and historical perspective. Unfortuantely, post 60s federal caselaw began a new era in First Amendment jurisprudence - an era where the previous 350 years of American legal precedent and history was ignored as if it never happened.

The problem:  balancing the extremely important principle of obedience to court orders without totally abdicating Constitutional rights. The Chief sincerely feels that this is the one issue where the line has to be drawn against the several decade trend of cleansing the public realm from any vestige of religious (Bible) references. He is taking a lot of risk and could be removed from the bench. I know him personally and can say that he is acting out of sincere conviction - although don't be surprised if he runs for Governor three years from now.

Which side am I on? Well, ya know I got a little rebel and radical streak in me, and I do believe in States rights, and I do subscribe to the doctrines of nullification and interposition, and I do know and understand the nature and origin of the forces struggling here (suffice to say that the plaintiff forces are not Southern or religious)so, yeah, I support the actions of the Chief - hey, the state motto is " We dare defend our rights"! So why not?! I just love a spectacle Besides, what is life without a little risk taking?  Heck, I have been thinking about taking my YZ 250 down there and ride some high speed wheelies in front of the Judicial Building - I would get on world wide TV for sure! Can see it now: "Lawyer Rides Wheely for Ten Commandments, Gets Arrested after Massive Police Chase, Claims God Told Him to do it"

In the end the monument, which isn't hurting anyone , will probably get removed. I think the U.S. Supreme Court will decline to hear the case. The Decalogue does appear on the main doors to the chambers of that courtroom though. It will be next.

[BURKE89]

... in response to Hey LP.., posted by WmGo on Aug 22, 2003

and I share your convictions, as well.

[LP]

... in response to Hey LP.., posted by WmGo on Aug 22, 2003

...I knew if anyone could give me a balanced opinion it would be you. The church and state thing is a tough nut to crack though, especially down there. It really reveals the demographics of that area pretty well.

Be interesting to see how it turns out, lets hope no one gets hurt. Maybe they need to call out the National Guard. Lol, where is Wallace when you really need him...

Fwiw, I think it oughta go. But hey, I live on a different planet. The situation simply couldn't happen in California, we've got too many other probelms to deal with these days. What scares me is people really think Arnie is gonna fix it...

I say you head on down and show 'em, you'd be the only sane one there. In fact, you and I are the only sane ones here...and sometimes I'm not really sure about you

[BURKE89]

... in response to Fair nuff..., posted by LP on Aug 22, 2003

Why, LP?

I can't see how a basic premise of our culture should be cast aside for progressive/multi-cultural fiddle-faddle. The oft-repeated 'seperation of yada yad...' is at best: senile - despite the 'Gods' in the black robes.

You should know better; especially living in such an august establishment, as you do.