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Author Topic: lesson for genoramix  (Read 9562 times)
Cold Warrior
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« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Does finding a wife..., posted by Zink on Aug 23, 2003

nt
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LP
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« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Does finding a wife..., posted by Zink on Aug 23, 2003

....I didn't miss your mention of this news in a post a month or so back but you made the comment so low key, I'd thought I'd wait until you offered it again.

Vlad, eh? A great city, my first contact was from there. A young beauty who was so sincere I couldn't believe she was real. But as a newbie I turned tail and ran...turned out she was legit and we remain friends to this day. She ended up married to a Japanese guy twice her age and it's not going very well. I've no regrets, she was way too young and overly romantic. She would spend her days reading romance novels and was a bit detached from reality. I guess she found out married life ain't quite like her books.

Was fun to meet her though and I've never met anyone quite like her since, I remember it as quite an introduction to this "business".

Good luck to you...

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Zink
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« Reply #17 on: August 23, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Yeah,  congrats Zinkman...., posted by LP on Aug 23, 2003

Well, I'm a fairly low key kind of guy. I don't care to go blowing my own horn and I get in less trouble when my mouth is shut. Right now I prefer giving advice on occassion more than writing my history. And I know my wife doesn't want me writing much more than technical info.

I like Vladivostok a lot. I know the city pretty well and wander all over unattended. Not the most exciting city in the world, but hey, I'm nowhere near as wild as I was 10 years ago. Funny part about my girl is that she's rock solid stable, very intelligent and sensible. Dumbest thing she did was get involved with me. Never thought I'd be the unstable one in a relationship. That's why I tell guys they don't have to put up with the flighty, gameplaying bs.

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tbirdjoy
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« Reply #18 on: August 23, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Does finding a wife..., posted by Zink on Aug 23, 2003

Man that's harsh.  I didn't know the Canadian government went to that extreme.  Especially since your country wasn't even attacked.  One of my wife's girlfriends is married to a Canadian and they got married over in Ukraine almost a year ago.  It's just been in the last month that she's finally gotten her visa.  I was wondering why he would get married instead of doing the fiancee visa. Now I understand. I don't think I could go that route without at least having the lousy 90 days (to live with them first) they allow us here in the states.  Best of luck to you both.

Mark

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Zink
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« Reply #19 on: August 23, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Does finding a wife..., posted by tbirdjoy on Aug 23, 2003

Our government was very sensitive to being accused as the gateway for terrorists into the US. Now we have some of the strictest immigration and visa controls in the world. Not that they were all that slack before the attacks. But there are always loopholes that can't be closed.

I'm not thrilled about being married to a woman that doesn't really know about life here. I'd have liked the 90 day trial period. But we had our reasons for it and we'll deal with what comes as it happens. Still I lived with her and her mother for 10 weeks so we do know each other fairly well.

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NW Jim
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« Reply #20 on: August 23, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Does finding a wife..., posted by Zink on Aug 23, 2003

Zink, let me join Wm in congratulating you and your new spouse on your good fortune. Look forward to your report.
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Frank O
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« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Does finding a wife..., posted by Zink on Aug 22, 2003

NT
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Zoidberg
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« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: lesson for genoramix, posted by Frank O on Aug 22, 2003

I felt the same way on my trip report as well. I ended up writing and posting a trip report but it was very short. I tried to make sure there was nothing in it that I could get blasted for. At the time, I thought to myself, how sad and I am sure there are many others that feel the same way. My original intention was to do a very detailed report, starting from the beginning. I have even kept a sort of diary of everything I did and why I did it. It does not mean it is the correct way to do it, it would have only showed people how I did it. In the end I decided against posting it because I KNEW parts of it would get blasted by people and I am not on here to defend myself. I want to be here to share my story and read about others as well as maybe making new friends. Maybe I am too sensitive but I hate it when I see personal attacks on people that are just trying to share their story.

Now, having said this, I do not imply that all critism is bad. Far from that. I feel critism is needed to keep things balanced. The problem is sometimes critism turns into personal attacks. That's when people tend to crawl away and no longer post. For awhile, this group was doing very good. Lately there have been very few trip reports and the reason is simple. Most people are probably afraid to.

I just wish people would step back and not personally attack anyone that doesn't do this the "textbook" way. I was happy to see an apology from LP on his post. Then other posts he was able to get his point across without personally attacking the poor guy. I saw some very good information in those posts. Others posted good info as well but some people resorted to personal attacks. No wonder there are very few trip reports on here.

Listen, there is no right way or wrong way in doing this. I tried to say this before in many posts. Yes, I agree there are some things you can do to increase your chances. There are also things you can do that will make any chance at success a fat chance in hell. Overall, we are all humans and last time I checked we are all different. Just because someone failed doing it one way, doesn't mean everyone else will fail the same way. Just because one person can tell, within a few minutes, if they want to continue or not, does not mean everyone has to do the same. I for one believe people have bad days but that is up to the two people involved to decide.

I am only saying this because 2 others posted saying why they do not like to post here. I am a 3rd and I am sure there are more out there. I know you are all trying to help out and make sure we don't make a mistake. It is good to have people care like that. All I am saying is to please try to leave constructive criticism, not the personal attacks that sometimes happen.

Z.

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