I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!!

[Frank O]

Well things were 100% polar opposite from my first visit. This time I ran an ad for ME through Jacks agency. I'll write a trip report this weekend.

[Globetrotter]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Frank, you seem like a really nice guy.  If you are happy, we are happy for you.  Now that you are verbally commited, you have time to get to know each other....and only you know best for you.

[Scaught]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

We have heard a lot on this board that the Texas Service Center is slow and getting slower, so you and your fiancee can use the delay to your mutual advantage to get to know each other better through a variety of ways.

Best to you!

P.S. Sorry about the gig. Sounds like a bunch that doesn't know what they want and can't commit. You are clearly the opposite kind of person.

[KenC]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Frank,
Best of luck to you.  Now take a deep breath and think things through very carefully.  You are an impulsive kind of guy (like me) and there is nothing wrong with that UNTIL you make life altering impulsive decsions.  You MAY have met the love of your life in Ukraine, but for sure you do not know this woman well enough yet to gamble on marriage.  Engaged? Fine, but make it a long one and plan to visit her again to confirm your choice.
KenC

[John K]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

I wish you the best.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

I hope it works out for you and it's not just one of those powerful sexual attractions.  Oh what the heck, if it is then have fun for 2 years and then try again a little wiser.

[wsbill]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Or better yet the two of you !!

[Jack]

... in response to Re: Let's see her picture !, posted by wsbill on Jun 20, 2003

Just saw a few photos of Frank and his lady. She is very pretty, has a beautiful smile, curves in all the right places and her hair is almost as long as his.

Frank, she is pretty and the two of you do look happy together in the photos.

[Frank O]

... in response to oh myyyyy!, posted by Jack on Jun 20, 2003

Seriously, when I stepped out in Boryspil I didn't see Galina or her. I started to worry & walked started to walk around. Then I heard a voice say "Frank?!". I turned around...she was wearing tight jeans & what appeared to be like a leather "vest" I don't know WHAT you call it but it had leather leaces between the boobs holding it together with NO bra underneath. OH MAN!!! Anyways she is EVERYTHING & MORE that I could have asked for. I thank GOd I chose her over going to Chernigov!!! THANKS JACK!!!

[Zoidberg]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Congratulations Frank! I wish you both the best!

Z

[Cal]

... in response to I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JACK!!..., posted by Frank O on Jun 19, 2003

Regardless of the comments from some, I think that there  
is a very different way to consider love with many people,  
myself being one of the people who think that our romantic  
and materialistic diamond-driven "love" definition is a  
buch of horse-hockey.  Technically, it's possible for any  
man and woman to love each other, they just have to WANT  
IT TO WORK.  Love to me is a very conscious choice we make  
to behave and live in a manner that takes into account the  
needs of another person in our life.  It goes beyond  
romance, friendship or sex.  It's about humanity.  
 
So to me, love is a decision to stick together for the  
long haul, fights and disagreements included, and to not  
expect the other person to be perfect or even nice at  
times.  Once you make the decision to love someone, you  
just do it and stick to your guns.  Now the trick is  
getting BOTH people to think about love and marriage in  
this rational, no bull fashion and to grab their noses and  
take the plunge, promising to stick together no matter  
what.  My parents, who are still together, don't always  
agree on things and there is conflict.  It's NORMAL guys.  
 
But what do I know, I've been divorced but admit that I  
knew better BEFORE getting married, I just ignored the  
signs. It's been my experience, before, during and after  
my first marriage, that as much as I loved my first wife and she loved
me, she really wasn't geared up to make it in the long haul, she had not
gotten over her first husband and I got the leftovers. Yes, there was  
romance, attraction, great sex, etc.  But she was ALWAYS  
looking for "more".  More car, more happiness, more money,  
etc.  If you find someone who just wants YOU, it doesn't  
really matter whether they are perfect, prettier than the  
other girls, etc.  When you both agree to MAKE IT WORK NO  
MATTER WHAT it's a done deal, get married and live happily  
ever after.  
 
So Frank, if she's into YOU and you are into HER totally  
and 100%, then MAKE IT WORK and don't listen to anyone  
else but your own gut.  But put some cash away in a  
buddies bank account just in case, OK?  
 
Cal

[John K]

... in response to Re: I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JA..., posted by Cal on Jun 20, 2003

To a certain extent, I agree with you, Cal.  Still, there is more to it than just wanting more, for more's sake.  My wife is someone who wants "more" out of life, but to her, more is not just an unfulfilled need.  To Marina, "more" is a progression in life.  "If we don't want something," she opines, "then we aren't alive."

Does it mean that she has to have it?  No.  Her wants are her motivation, not her dissatisfaction.  She's realistic enough to know when we can't afford something, and doesn't blame me or herself if we can't get it.  Still, her wants provide her a goal to reach for, and a focus for us to turn our energies to.

In a way, Marina has reawakened my ambition.  By the time I met Marina, I had felt I had achieved my "happy plateau".  I could pay all my bills and have plenty left over to goof around.  Of course, I lived like a slob and had no interest in pushing myself anymore.  Marina reawakened the hunger in me, and got me back into the process of living, instead of just existing.  Looking at how much my life has changed over the last two years, I am amazed at the difference.  I have become much more responsible and my lifestyle is now more in line with where I should be, at this stage in my life.

I tend to agree with Marina, in that we need to have a constant set of "wants" to motivate us to progress to the next level.  If complacency sets in, we surrender our desire to grow and learn.  Properly managed, our wants can lead us to become something better than what we already are.

I think the "properly managed" part is where difficulties come in.  Balancing our wants against reality is vital.  Willingness to work hard and sacrifice to achieve those wants is also vital.  An empty want, without the motivation to try and achieve it, often leads to dissatisfaction.  

Marina and I spend a lot of our time together thinking about what we want and we plan together how we are going to get there.  When we are together, our nightly walks are often our planning sessions.  While we walk, we often talk about what we want and how we are going to get there.  We prioritize our wants, and we decide together what's really important for us right now.  Reviewing our wants and needs regularly keeps us focused on what we need to do, and also gives us the motivation to "do without" sometimes, in order to achieve what we really want.  Making that trade willingly, instead of being forced to accept something you can't have, keeps dissatisfaction down.

Does this make sense?

[Cal]

... in response to The issue of "more", posted by John K on Jun 23, 2003

Your way of looking at life makes perfect sense, it's  
pretty much the way I see it.  Cooperation and committment to each other,
isn't that what marriage is about? Problem is, not a lot of people see
marriage this way anymore.  It's more than just love IMHO, it's growing
together as people. Marriage really isn't that difficult, provided that
people continue to be themselves, adapt and change with each other's
needs and wants, but above all agree to stick together.  It's great you
and your wife communicate like you do!  Bravo, you have it figured out.  
And it sounds like marriage challenges you to be a better man, which is  
what it's all about, isn't it?  
 
In my case, I simply chose the wrong woman to marry - she wanted me to be
her first husband and repeated her same "bad behavior" that got her
divorced the first time. Life has a tendency to repeat itself with
certain people, my ex being one of them I suppose. BTW she was not
eastern european at all, which I realize might have confused my posting.  
 
Cal

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: I'm back & ENGAGED!!!! Thanks JA..., posted by Cal on Jun 20, 2003

Thanks Cal. You situation sounded very much like MY first marriage. The COMMITTMENT was there but when your wife goes oversees & has a "fling" & winds up pregnant....well you can see where that goes. Adultery is a VERY legitimate grounds for divorce. I'm a christian & that is the ONLY grounds for divorce in my book. We discussed this at length. My parents were married 50+ years. Her mother married at 17 & has been married 21 years now. I think. In any case it's our decision but I do appreciate everyones "advice".

[lswote]

... in response to Thanks Cal..., posted by Frank O on Jun 20, 2003

I do hope you mean your girlfriend when you say "her".  Because if you mean your mother, then your mother's mother (your grandmother) must be in some warped space-time continuium to only be married 21 years.