I have been wrestling with divulging this little tale for two reasons. Manily, because I want to get on with my life--believe it or not :c) LOL--and two because Gerlie comes here often. She can't post, because she's a victim of the messed up password retreival system--Hint HINT :c)--but she reads everything! Especially if it's by her favorite author :c) Hi HONEY! LOL
After talking to way too many people, I do know how everything went down. I'm not real thrilled with the truth here, but I think it's time that I shared. Especially seeing that there are so many differing opinions on our story. I don't ever want to discourage anyone from their opinions, I always take everything with a grain of salt and have benefitted FAR more from the differing sentiments here than I have ever suffered.
So here it is. THIS is what happened. Obviously this is in my words, but the largest part is from Ayesa's own lips, the lips of people she trusted that couldn't bear her secret and from family that is disgusted by what has happened. To the best of my knowledge this is the truth. I have looked long and hard to find it. Now I will share it with you in hopes of putting minds at ease and, as always, warning others that this could happen to them. There is NO way of knowing.
Ayesa is very daring. She enjoys shocking people. It's all pretty good natured, but she relishes the role of being the "fearless one" in her peer group.
It all started innocently enough. Her neighbor received an application for Forever Yours at school. She thought about filling it out, but didn't have the courage to do it. She confided in Ayesa and Ayesa's response was, "Give it to me... I'll do it!"
That's how this started. There was no group of evil family members conspiring to send the prettiest daughter to scam some rich American slob out of his money, promising him everything to get everything... I have said before, without this much detail, it just isn't as evil as some of you think.
Needless to say, Ayesa "did it" And she "did it" without her parents knowledge, consent, nor approval. She simply "did it" without considering the responsibility or potential consequences. A child trying to shock other children. That's what she was.
Does that make her innocent for her part in this? Nope, but it certainly sheds a differnt light on this whole ordeal.
When she started receiving letters--which she NEVER thought she would receive--there was no way of hiding what she had done from her parents. After she "did it" she never even gave it a second thought. She NEVER had a plan. She just "did it"
Now the cat's out of the bag. There is a three month fight over this. Ayesa is in the dog house MAJOR! After a while she started reading the letters, which they kept in order by postmark. She read them in order, because mine was the first to arrive. I'm romantic and I write well. She became infatuated with the idea of a knight in shining armor from an exotic foreign land, with streets paved in gold. She bought the hype.
Now the family has warmed to this idea from a practical stand point. Ayesa is difficult and not overly intelligent. She is very pretty, but kind of wild and doesn't attract the best element of gentlemen callers in the barangay. Her parents are genuinely concerned for her future. Maybe this is the answer!
The select the chosen few. Ayesa writes some return letters. Some reply, some don't. It has been an inordinatntly long time for response, even for the Filipino postal service. But I am waiting for her letter, because I am positive we are somehow linked by fate. Paaaaaaleeeeeeeessssseeee! Sappy, but true.
Her letters are different than the others, probably because she is different. For whatever reason she strikes me and we begin a serious correspondence.
After a few months of waiting WEEKS for letters that should arrive in seven days Ayesa simply got bored with the whole process and became disenchanted. Motivated by anything BUT greed, initially at least, Ayesa's mother begins to ride her about not promptly returning correspondence. Things like "You can't just keep starting things and not finishing them!" in visayan were yelled. "Here is a good man that wants to marry you, you can't just walk away..." This is how it started.
At first her mother would sit her down and make her write letters. Then when Ayesa was defiant, her mother started writing them for her. Actually, her mother did write me once to say that Ayesa was busy helping her father in the feilds at harvest and could not write at the moment, so she was just writing to let me know that Ayesa was still "very interested" and that work kept her from writingme at the moment. Some time after that Mommie Dearest, just started writing for her.
When I made the commitment to visit there was a family council meeting held. No doubt some elders spoke of financial gain.
When I made travel arrangements, I made them with her mother. I didn't think anything of it. Who would? I just thought it was the way things go over there. It was ALL foregin to me!
When I came, she enjoyed the celebrity status. The focus of her entire village--and the surrounding barangays--was on her family. The were gracious hosts and I had a great time.
Then everything began to set in. The process was frustrating and lengthy. Patience is NOT a virtue she possesses! The closer we got to procuring a visa, the more she didn't want to go. The more she resisted--never to my knowledge, of course--the more she was "advised to continue". Her words.
She decided to give it a go because she did think I was a good guy. Merely, thinking someone is a "Good guy..." does not a successful marriage make!
When she got her she was treated like a princess. My family and friends were absolutely wonderful. Everything was based around her. What girls doesn't want to be a princess?
By the time the dust settled, we were married. When day to day life began to become the norm, that's when she had the time alone--key word, alone. Away from her parents and not obligated to do anything with her new family--to focus on her own thoughts. That's when she finally realized the impact of her actions.
She's got a husband that she likes, but in no way is in love with. A Mother-in-law that showers her with attention--the attention that she always wanted from her mother, but never felt she got. Again her words--and new friends and family that don't speak her language.
That's when the trouble began to become apparent to me. She withdrew adn became depressed. The harder I tried, the more depressed she became. I'm not gonna say that she was mature enough to feel guilt for actions, I have never seen than in her. I'm sure it was more of a self pity party that she was throwing. I wasn't invited!
Her plan was to piss me off and be a bad enough wife so that I would send her home, solving her problems. Well she picked the wrong guy to give up on his marriage vows! I wonder who is more irritated by that fact, her or me? LOL
When that plan didn't work she looked for another opportunity. It came last July. She'd finally be rid of me and alone in the Philippines. She didn't tell her parents a thing. She just went to do what she could, but all they wanted was cash. The first real cash we sent. And the last.
Her plan was to do what she had to do for her father, which she reluctantly did through me, and then to dissappear in Tondo with friends she knew from her time there.
She told her aunt the truth and her aunt tried to support her. Until her mother got word of everything by calling me to see if she got home. Like I said earlier, Ayesa is not overly intelligent. Her mother easily found her hiding at the aunt's, her mother's sister. Why the aunt didn't stand up for her more is still a mystery, but I'm pretty sure it was because Ayesa was costing her money to board and she wasn't working, Ayesa that is.
The money that I sent and the money that Art gave to her in Manila--I don't mean to leave out his involvement, but you all know about that and I am running a bit long here now :c)--all went to her room and board. It was supposed to be for airport taxes, but that was a lie.
I wanted her to come home because I still believed that we could work everything out. Yes, I am the dumbest man in North America.
When I said "We will work these things out together..." She heard "Come back here and we'll get the divorce you want..."
I admit I misled her, but she got the last laugh in an entirely joyless ordeal. I wanted to trick her into councelling, she didn't buy it. My hands were tied.
Ayesa is maybe more a victim of this than I, but in NO way blameless. She had the power to stop everything before it got out of hand, but not the fearlessness that got her into this mess.
Do I hate her? No. I have a numbness toward her that only her absence can alieviate. Will I send her back to the Philippines? Yep. Because it's what I need to happen. Not because I promised her parents, not because it's the right thing to do--it IS the right thing to do--but because I just want her as far away from me as possible. She was right about one thing. Everything is MUCH easier if we don't see eachother. I'm glad she had the balls to defy me and make that happen, I owe her one for that :c)
That's basicly all there is. Hope no one fell asleep :c)
Keep the Faith guys. Everything works out in the end. I sure HOPE it does :c)
H
