Sealing the deal

[John K]

As I had mentioned earlier, my wife is taking a 5 1/2 month vacation back home this spring.  We had concerns regarding such a length of time between us, especially with Marina's dislike for life in the US.  This was my last "acid test" for her, to see if we could survive the seperation and whether she would be willing to come back afterwards.

Well, three months into our voluntary separation, I've found that we are just as strong as ever, if not stronger.  We talk 3 times a week and Marina is regretting being away from me for so long.  She says that she doesn't feel complete without me and while she doesn't like America, she can't wait to get home nevertheless.  We are even starting to do a little preliminary planning towards starting our family.

This is, of course, great news for me.  I have always believed that couples should have the freedom to choose whether to stay together.  Those that choose to do so, tend to stay together longer and with a better quality of life.  The MOB route has a serious potential to make your mate feel "locked" into your marriage, which could cause long term depression or lead to a lot of resentment.  I believe I have Marina finally committed to a lifetime of marriage.  It only took some time apart to make her realize what she was missing.  :-)

On a side note, Marina wants me to find a nice husband for her 40 year old mother.  Her mother wants someone around her age with a very active libido.  California region preferred, but anyplace in America really would be fine.  Any takers?  :-)

[cherokee]

... in response to Sealing the deal, posted by John K on May 13, 2003

John,
Remember the grass is always greener back in Ukraine until they get there and see what they've forgotten about their country. My wife also didn't like America at first, she only remembered the good things in Ukraine. It took one visit home and when we got back things were alot better for her, although she still misses everything and everyone alot. The stubborness plays a factor too;-)
Of course a good marriage also makes the transition easier.
Good luck!

[thesearch]

... in response to Sealing the deal, posted by John K on May 13, 2003

))

So, you are 39 and your mother in law is 40 and she wants someone her age while you get the daughter?  LOL

I think that most would take the daughter and not the mother. So, Mom most likely  will not find it as easy to get a man your age as the younger woman. However, I wish her luck. BTW how old is your wife if I might ask. Don't worry, I am not the Sheriff of the age police.

Also, thanks for sharing. Please update us again when she returns. I for one would be very curious to see how she changes relative to her dislike for America when she returns. There could be a favorable change there. I am sure that I would not be the only one interested.

Congrats and good luck,

Greg

[John K]

... in response to Now wait a minute , posted by thesearch on May 13, 2003

I was born in March 1964.  Marina was born in June 1980.  In less than a month, she'll be 23.

The age thing was a big concern to me when we were first writing.  I thought she was a lot older than what she was.  Imagine my surprise when I found out the twenty something girl was actually eighteen!  I was going on 35 at the time and I was very uncomfortable getting serious with someone so young.  Marina didn't seem to think there was any problem with it.  Of course, she has a thing for older men, that I didn't know about.

In the end, I decided that I wouldn't hold her youth against her, since she didn't hold my age against me.  We met shortly after her 19th birthday.  The first couple of days were unusual, but we quickly got comfortable with each other.  Despite her poor English and my negligible Russian, we managed to communicate quite well.  The one time we had an interpreter around, she only asked a technical question regarding the immigration process.  The interpreter was highly surprised at how well we had adjusted to each other, despite the formidable language barrier.

In actuality, we really don't feel the age difference when we are together.  We just enjoy being with each other and creating our life together.  I felt the age difference for a few hours our first day, and a few hours the second day after we met.  After that, the age difference is pretty much an academic thing that really doesn't have a big impact on our lives, except when we plan the roadmap of our life together.  Children are becoming a big issue, as she still wants some good years left in me, once the youngsters leave the house...

[thesearch]

... in response to Our age difference, posted by John K on May 14, 2003

John,

There are definitely women who prefer older men. If a guy chooses a younger woman this preference of the lady is important versus a lady who is willing to accept the older man because of wanting a better life or a green card.

Good luck to you both. Keep posting

[Robert D]

... in response to Sealing the deal, posted by John K on May 13, 2003

So what about American is so disliked by your wife.  I am curious.

Robert D.

[Cold Warrior]

... in response to Sealing the deal, posted by John K on May 13, 2003

that she misses you. She will eventually consider America as her home once kids come along.

[Travis]

... in response to Sealing the deal, posted by John K on May 13, 2003

I always enjoy reading the successes, thanks for sharing!

May I ask what city your wife is from? I only ask because it seems that an FSU persons perception of America has a lot to do with what region they are from. My wife is from a small town outside of Kaliningrad and she hates it there because the economy of the entire region really is in shambles, as is the infastructure of the town she is from...and with any luck, where she'll be returning.

Funny, my soon to be ex really likes America except for all the d@mn Americans :-)

[cherokee]

... in response to Re: Sealing the deal, posted by Travis on May 13, 2003

aren't there more mexicans in houston than americans?

[wizard]

... in response to you sure she doesn't mean Mexicans?LOL, posted by cherokee on May 14, 2003

[Robert D]

... in response to Re: Sealing the deal, posted by Travis on May 13, 2003

Having been to St. Pete and seeing what I am told is a vibrant city by Russian standards,  I can not see how any Russian woman would not find here better, if they are married to a person of even modest means.   I realize there are some dull places here in the US and there are lots of cultural things to do in St. Pete, that are inexpensive, but it seem that most single women that are not strippers or worse, never get to go out to a decent restaurant, or even out for drinks because their incomes are so small. Most who can afford anything work in town and commute long distances just so they can afford inexpensive housing.  So where do you guys live that would be anywhere as bad economically if I may ask.

Robert D.

[Travis]

... in response to Re: Re: Sealing the deal, posted by Robert D on May 13, 2003

Like I said, my wife (soon to be ex) loves it here in America, she just doesn't like Americans. I live in Houston (in the suburbs anyway), and there is absolutely no comparison to Kaliningrad much less Zelenogradsk. Either way, my wife is not the norm! She has said she would prefer to live in Briton Beach because she doesn't normally associate with Americans and doesn't care to. Please keep in mind that my situation is drastically different than most on this board. Financially I don't do bad which is one of three reasons she "chose" me.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Sealing the deal, posted by Travis on May 13, 2003

...she's confusing Texans with Americans. Btw, hows the Texas Dems doing? Still holed up in Oklahoma? ;-)

[Travis]

... in response to No wonder....., posted by LP on May 14, 2003

Still hiding!!! JERKS! Not like they haven't been the majority for the last 130 years. Now their the minority, they run and hide in Oklahoma. Panzies in my opinion.

[Robert D]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Sealing the deal, posted by Travis on May 13, 2003

Well Houston is a very progressive city.   Although it has no old city cham, which I could understand could bother someone accustom to old city charm (I live in New Orleans), good lord there are jobs there, the economy has been almost a model for the rest of the country, there is diversity there, great universities, good affordable housing, terriffic air flight avaliability, the only thing missing is good mass transit.  So I can not figure how  any Russian person, suffering through a bad economy, would not suffer through conditions there better than suffering through conditions in Russia.

Robert D.