Green Card Meeting [CONT-2]

[f12phantom]

Thank you all for your responses - they are very helpful and I don't blame some of you for thinking I'm some type of "cad" . . . let me clarify that in no way would I just cut loose both my wife and her daughter without knowing that each of them has a secure and good place to return to in their home town of Kiev . . . my wife has kept her great flat there and has a good job that she left which is still waiting for her (in fact her boss has spoken to her several times asking for her to return) . . . also, her sister, family, friends and culture gladly await her . . . likewise, her daughter can return to the university in Kiev in good standing as well as to her friends and culture. They both miss it very much! It has been a difficult year to say the least! I have carried two jobs in the hopes we would be able to cross this difficult barrier. We both reviewed my financial predicament before they came here and she opted to come anyway. All the underpinnings of this decision such as: her getting a job within three months; that I would easily return to a high paying job in consulting within a few months, etc etc etc . . . never came to fruition. Hence, I acquired a second job which still fell short even though we moved to cheaper quarters etc.

So, yesterday's question regarding the upcoming Green Card interview was not out of malice nor paranoia but out of desperation! In other words, not having the money to help send them back to Kiev, would the government do it (via deportation as they have no real desire to ever return to America) because I don't have the financial status I had when I originally applied for the fiancee visa? Or, not having any experience with this interviewing process, can I just lay the cards on the table during the interview and see what they say? Or, if I don't show up for this interview, what happens? Just simply exploring the options . . . THX!

[tim360z]

... in response to Green Card Meeting [CONT-2], posted by f12phantom on Apr 25, 2003

In  short,  this is either a joke or you are a nit-wit.  Maybe both.  Let me see,  wife and a kid...you are gonna be laible anyway you cut it.  You want your wife declared "persona non grata"....so you can be off the hook for airfare??  A fine specimen you are.  GGGeeezzz!

[Charles]

... in response to Green Card Meeting [CONT-2], posted by f12phantom on Apr 25, 2003

If understand your situation, you are currently working two jobs.  Thus, even though it's not nearly what you were making before, you probably make enough to meet the minimum poverty guidelines which is all that is required.  So if you want her to get the green card, you can do it.  Why not get her the green card and then let her return to Kiev.  Or she may decide to stay and get a job, which she can't if you don't get the green card and then you're stuck supporting her for a long time.  The other issues seems to be that since times are now tough you want to get rid of your wife.  First, deportation, even at the Government's expense, is not likely to happen any time soon and, if they pay, they get detained, i.e., jail, for awhile awaiting their "free" flight.  Is that what you want?  So they're going to be here for awhile.  Of course, if they don't get the green card she won't be able to work, making your life that much toughter.  However, the easiest way to start the process is just not show up at the interview.  That will be construed as an abandonment of her AOS application.  I think you need to evaluate several things:

Is this marriage, if indeed there is one, based on economics, or love.  If the former, you're probably better off ending it now and cutting your losses.  If that is your decision, it is very unfair and cruel to your wife.  That maybe why she is eager to return to Ukraine.  She quite rightly perceives you as not being there during the tough times.  You claim to have been successful in the past.  Many people on this board, including myself, have been at rock bottom and recovered.  There are several posters on this board whose wives came to America and their income declined, and now they're doing great.  It's a long time until June -- be optimistic and keep the faith.  Whatever you do with this woman, you are going to have to rebuild your financial situation.  Do you want to do it with her or without her?  If you truly love this woman you will do all you can to keep her here.  Thus far, it doesn't sound like you have done that.  

[f12phantom]

... in response to Re: Green Card Meeting [CONT-2], posted by Charles on Apr 25, 2003

This is the first response that even comes close to addressing my concerns! I want to thank you Charles for taking the time to write this response. Indeed, you're correct. Love was shoved aside for the prevailing circumstances of finances over the last several months. One's judgement can become easily clouded, not to mention totally distorted, under such conditions. This is worse for some people than it is for others. Obviously, in my case, it's been very traumatic. I would much prefer to "fight" this through and come out whole on the otherside with both of us shouldering this cause. Her daughter's recent plight only added more fuel to the fire!

An interesting editorial was posted in the New York Times today by the Dalai Lama about the control of inner emotions which can prove to be more destructive to us than external factors. That we need to simply relax and flow with the currents much like a river flowing through the valley. In other words, go with the flow. Thus, I figure I'll do just that and not worry about the economic circumstances. That I am doing the best I can and will put my best foot forward both now and at the upcoming meeting in June. Let the chips fall where they may . . . if it's meant to be, then it will be . . . stay tuned!

[Jeff S]

... in response to Green Card Meeting [CONT-2], posted by f12phantom on Apr 25, 2003

I keep re-reading your posts to see of what I'm interpreting is actually what you are saying. Are you asking if the US government will deport your wife and daughter and pay for their flight back home because you don't have enough money to buy an airline ticket? The word flabbergasted seems woefully inadequate.

If she married you in good faith, it's your responbsibility, not the taxpayers. I don't know of any specific law or case, but my guess is that it's not so easy to retract your affidavit of support, no matter what your current financial problems are. Think in terms of wage garnishment for the next ten years.

- Jeff