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Author Topic: The fall of France  (Read 2476 times)
Cold Warrior
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« on: April 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

[This message has been edited by Cold Warrior]

The fall of France was astonishingly swift. After regime change in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria, it was only a matter of time before the allies said that they had “no plans” to attack France. The detested Jacques Chirac had long been a thorn in their sides. He was a past friend of Saddam Hussein, welcomed Arab exiles and had a suspiciously large Muslim population. Above all, he refused point-blank to disband his force de frappe weapons of mass destruction. As Donald Rumsfeld had said back in 2003: “Things mean consequences.” France posed a clear and immediate threat. The coalition acted in pre-emptive self-defence. U.S. president Martin Sheen was in a belligerent mode yesterday. His miraculous conversion from dove to hawk was attributed to Jerry Farwell.

Coalition forces again fought “battle-lite”. The application of shock-and-awe to Caen and Rouen and the blasting of infrastructure targets round Paris devastated French morale. A re-enactment of Operation Overlord saw the 21st Army Group reform in Hampshire and storm ashore at Normandy’s Omaha and Utah beaches. Veteran units of the 101st Airborne under the command of Cold Warrior were allowed to seize Pegasus Bridge, again. The Marine Corps under General MtMav had Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks “embedded”. America was glued to CNN as live coverage including instant replay was reported by war historians DanM and Zink. They  have set up camp in the house formerly occupied by Rommel. Troops are still being flown over by tycoons Dan and LP, these guys made their first kill when they bought out the bankrupt American Airlines.

The A13 to Paris was quickly secured. Predictions of a last stand in the capital’s streets by Gaullist Resistance irregulars on barricades proved groundless. GPS-guided missiles took out regime buildings on the Ile de la Cité, Quai d’Orsay and Les Invalides. The Elysée presidential palace “complex” was soon a 50ft crater. The looting of the Louvre was regretted, but not stopped. A shadow government was soon established in a town called Vichy under provisional governor  General Jack Bragg.

BREAKING NEWS. All U.S commanders mentioned in this report have been relieved of their command and are currently under investigation. Unconfirmed reports has it that they have been seduced by Russian secret agents posing as models. Admiral Wsbill was also relieved of command for conflict of interest after it was discovered he had a thriving side business  supplying the US army with tomatoes and cucumbers. He was replaced by Admiral Zoidberg.

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rojak
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« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to The fall of France, posted by Cold Warrior on Apr 16, 2003

I imagine this post has something to do with this board's purpose, but I'm at a loss to figure out your R W contribution here. Can you clarify? Thanks...
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Bobby Orr
Guest
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: The fall of France, posted by rojak on Apr 17, 2003

It all goes back to why the British had red uniforms and the French have brown pants.
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BURKE89
Guest
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to The fall of France, posted by Cold Warrior on Apr 16, 2003

for a sovereign-united people, eh?

The French Parabat of Algeria - still moves rather well - they tell me.

Perhaps, you could enlist his services against Israel's 26 other enem...

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Cold Warrior
Guest
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Le Pen, Le Pen..., posted by BURKE89 on Apr 17, 2003

I need a month's sleep.
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rob4050
Guest
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to The fall of France, posted by Cold Warrior on Apr 16, 2003

Hello, Rob here from the Latin Board...Great little satire!

I was wondering if you have a moment to contact me offline regarding your assessment of what post war living conditions would be for a government contractor. Doing what you ask? Cleaning out laboratories!

n3272w@yahooo.com

Thanks

Rob

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