Has anyone else noticed...

[ChrisNJ]

How BORING it's gotten around here lately.

How bout a trip report or somethin!
or
Bring back Johnny Vegas!

[LP]

... in response to Has anyone else noticed..., posted by ChrisNJ on Mar 11, 2003

[This message has been edited by LP]

...in spite of the hype, this board is pretty much useless. Don't take my word for it, simply scan down below this post all the way to the bottom of the record. Other than my stuff (smile), see anything of much value?

The prosecution rests....

[UnitedNut]

... in response to Thats because....., posted by LP on Mar 12, 2003

Nice thing about America: everyone is free to have and state their opinion......even when they are in the minority.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Thats because....., posted by UnitedNut on Mar 14, 2003

...I say again, look at the posts below this thread. There is nothing worthwhile, only an moron would think otherwise. Have 100 people on the street (a reasonable standard) whom are not biased by MOB cult mentality read whats mostly posted here and they would agree. In fact, those same 100 would likely agree that most of the US populace *are* morons. All except themselves of course.

You're missing the point entirely. It's the very fact that I'm in the minority (or so you claim) thats one of the biggest problems with this place.  Btw, another lesson for morons is that being in a minority doesn't make one wrong.

[DanM]

... in response to Thats because....., posted by LP on Mar 12, 2003

Sorry you feel that way about the board. I have been away for a pretty long time, but this board did a lot to help me in my search. If it has fallen off in recent times, that still does not mean it cannot be more useful in the future. Lets all try to pull together and make this board better.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Thats because....., posted by DanM on Mar 13, 2003

.. I remember you as a rational thinker, a guy who expresses himself well. I hope you remember that I'm direct and don't intend to rile anyone. (lol, at least not often) I simply call it as I see it. It has nothing to do with how I "feel". Again, look at the recent postings. Any thinking person would see they offer very little concrete information. Other than my own, how I feel does not stop these posts from appearing.

The board long ago became a sounding board for a variety of misfits, from those who think everything FSU is gold to those who have nothing better to do to those who wouldn't go over in a million years. Throw in a fair dose of simple losers and co-dependent men so traumatized by their previous relationships they're too paralyzed to do much else and this is what you get.

Boards like this are good ony for one thing: information. Not opinion, not tetosterone battles, not waxing poetic about how good R/W are or how bad A/W are. Certainly not for 90% of the posts that end up here. Look for yourself, it's a clear as day. Besides, there has never been much here that could not be found elsewhere by anyone willing to make the effort.

Unitl the board is constrained to facts and information (as in the Brama board), it will continue to be a cesspool of clashed personalities. An omnidirectional sludge pump and chattering, mindless cyclop that offers  no value whatsoever other than entertainment.

[don1]

... in response to Welcome back..., posted by LP on Mar 13, 2003

LP , there is ( as always ) a lot of truth in what you've said here . With all the things that have taken place just over the past year or so that I've been visiting this joint , I can't argue with some of the points you've made in your post .  

But I do disagree with you about the value of this board .

Why ?

Well , frankly , you yourself are one of the reasons why this board can be of value . You are by your own admission in a somewhat unique postion compared to a lot of us here . You are not 'in the hunt' . You have a lot of experience with RW . You have a lot more opportunities to travel than most of us . You're a lot more familiar with all of the 'ins and outs' of travel and visa requirements than a lot of us here . By virtue of your personal situation , you are not prone to the 'all FSU is gold' mentality . You are not in a position where you'll fall prey to agency hype and propoganda .

In addition , you do not 'candy coat' your comments and opinions . While that rubs some people the wrong way , I for one have appreciated the occaisional LP 'reality check' from time to time . You're not wearing the 'rose-colored glasses' that a lot of guys are , and you're not afraid to call 'em as you see 'em .

Whether you realize it or not , you've probably kept more than one guy from making a serious mistake ; or given a guy something to think about that he might not have figured out on his own .

Maybe I'm not 'the sharpest knife in the drawer' , but I see value in that .

Sure , it is probably a little frustrating for you and some of the other 'old-timers' to respond to the same newbie questions posted month after month by naive love-struck maroons who won't take the time to read the archives ; or to offer someone sound advice and see it ignored . Or to get dragged into some extended flame war or personality conflict . I can appreciate that .

But I hope ya stick around .

Have a good weekend

Don

[LP]

... in response to Re: Forum Value, posted by don1 on Mar 16, 2003

...Its nice to know somebody sees value in what I have to say, you be sharp enough to make the cut in my book.

I don't mind answering newbie questions but I don't because others will do it. Besides, I believe one should do his own research. There are way too many opinions foisted here by people who are not objective or too screwed up to offer much more than information based solely on personal experience.

The bottom line is most involved simply don't want to hear the truth, it intrudes on their fantasy or it simply stings too much. Sadly, the more I stay in this game the more I see that a good percentage of the men involved are multiple divorce, pre-tramatized, paralyzed souls who have more problems than an FSU woman will solve. Until they're honest with themselves about it not much will change for them. Even then, life is continually generating a steady stream of new ones. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think it makes them losers....but it does make them a little lost. Frankly, me thinks they're the last people who should be in this racket.

I appreciate your comments but I need to go, it's time. Few will miss my viewpoint and fewer still will mourn my passing. Truth is, I've never really belonged here in the first place. It's been interesting to say the least and at times it's not been easy being the odd man out. Kinda like being a pioneer in some respects and you know what they say about pioneers: You can tell who they are by all the arrows stickin outta their backs.

Good luck to you, too.

[don1]

... in response to Thanks Don...., posted by LP on Mar 16, 2003


Thanks for the kind words .

Once again , there is a lot of truth in what you're saying . No argument here . It just took me a while to figure a lot of that stuff out for myself . That is not a put-down on anybody here ; I'm not any better or any worse than anybody else hanging out here .

I also believe that a guy should do his homework . Be prepared . One of the most important factors in this deal is , as you pointed out , a person's ability or inability to be honest with themselves . And a person's ability or inability to listen . I guess lately , over the past few months anyways , I've seen more 'inabilities' than 'abilities' in those regards . A little disappointing for me anyways . Sounds like you see this , too .

I also agree that a person needs to have his ducks in a row or his own house in order before diving in to something like this . There is an awful lot of discussion here about 'the hunt' ; but I don't think too many guys leaping into 'the hunt' realize the actual amount of time , effort , work , patience , and commitment that you need to put into this thing once 'the hunt' is over . This is a lot of d@mn work !

For me though , the results of all that work have been worth it . So I'm not complaining .

I will be moving on soon . My fiance just got her Packet 3 stuff last week ; and should be getting her Warsaw interview date soon . Hopefully , I'll be headed back to Belarus sometime around May to bring her and our daughter back here . It'll be my third trip to Belarus , all my visits have been to see her and her family alone . After over a year of e-mails , phone calls , and visits ; we know each other even better than some of the people we've grown up with . We think alike on just about everything under the sun . We are both really sure about this . Even so , I know that the real work is just beginning . I've prepared for all this the best I can ; but even so I know it's going to take a lot of patience , understanding , commitment , compromise , and just plain hard work . On a daily basis .

I haven't been around here too much lately , I've been spending some time remodeling an upstairs bedroom for our daughter . I've got some other remodeling type stuff to get knocked out before their arrival , so I'll be spending even less time here in the coming weeks . And once they get here , I imagine I'll probably be too busy to hang out here much at all .

So , I don't think you'll be seeing too much of me from this point on . This joint has been a good place for me to hang out and kill some time , maybe learn a thing or two , while waiting on Nebraska and K-1 paperwork . Occaisionally entertaining place too . There are a few good-hearted and well-intentioned folks here . I wish them all well .

This is a good forum , and as I said , you have contributed heavily to making it a good forum . You are a clear-headed and focused person ; and those are qualities which are sometimes in short supply here and in great demand . I , and others here , have always appreciated those qualities .

Although we often have a pi**-poor way of showing that appreciation !  LOL ... ;- )

I'll be saying my good-byes pretty soon I think . Next week or two probably .

You are wrong about one thing though :

When I walk outta this joint , nobody'll even blink .

**YOU** , however ....You would definitely be missed ....

Best of Luck to You

Don

   

[DanM]

... in response to Welcome back..., posted by LP on Mar 13, 2003

Thanks for the nice comments. The "rational thinker" comment may be up for debate (LOL), but I do appreciate the thought.

Like you, I would love to see the board come back on topic a little more often. That is why I started the website thread up above. I hope you will contribute to it.

Take care and go easy on these guys. I wouldn't paint everyone with the same brush. There really are some great guys here.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Welcome back..., posted by DanM on Mar 13, 2003

..attempt is admirable I doubt you'll have much success. Many currently here are not interested in pursuing this endeavor to it's fullest at the present stage in their life. They're simply too messed up.

Since you've married, it occurs to me you could provide a better service by commenting on the usual issues encountered by one in your position. Adjustment and cultural problems, how she contacts home, homesickness, etc, etc. All the issues that need to be addressed after a woman makes the move. Anyone with sense knows the real work starts after the search is over. You've offered them none of that as yet.

As for me taking it easy on them, I try. But I'm not blind to a good percentage of the type of men who are here and for what reasons. Many who need a woman so bad as to jump through these hoops have problems an FSU woman won't solve. They be a tad bent in my opinion, some here are downright scary.

[thesearch]

... in response to Has anyone else noticed..., posted by ChrisNJ on Mar 11, 2003

My take is some of the bashing that occurs before knowing the whole issue with a guy has a significant impact on willingness to post.

Just my impression that is only speculation as I have no substantiation to back that up.

[DanM]

... in response to Re: Has anyone else noticed..., posted by thesearch on Mar 11, 2003

That seems to be the consensus so far. I hope everyone who reads this will at least consider the affect they may be having on people who are in the search. Even if its unintentional, it can still have a negative impact on people who could really benefit from this board.

[DanM]

... in response to Has anyone else noticed..., posted by ChrisNJ on Mar 11, 2003

Also, it would be good to think about ways to get the lurkers more involved.

I've got to think there are guys who visit this site, but are not comfortable posting for whatever reason. I remember back before I was posting here, I visited for a while and just read what people wrote. I was so hungry to learn whatever I could to help my search.

If we could think of ways to make these guys feel more welcomed to join in the discussions or just ask questions, it would probably also help make things more interesting around here and it would also be a good way to give back something. Just a thought.

[Jack]

... in response to Re: Has anyone else noticed..., posted by DanM on Mar 11, 2003

Dan, there are a LOT of lurkers out there. I think more than anyone realizes. I often get e-mails from guys who say they read Planet Love and I ask them what name they post under and many say they never post, only read.