Alison Beard : The perfect match
Published: February 14 2003 14:29 | Last Updated: February 14 2003 14:29
"Financial stress in any relationship can easily breed anxiety, blame and anger," reads one release from Cambridge Credit Counseling, a not-for-profit organisation. "Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce in the US." Bernice Kanner, author of Are You Normal About Money?, reports that 29 per cent of couples regularly disagree about whether to spend or save. A third of women and a quarter of men say they wouldn't marry someone whom they would always have to support.
According to a recent survey from Match.com, an Internet dating portal, 29 per cent of single women rank "a man who's broke" as the type of person they would least like to kiss on Valentine's Day. That compares with 21 per cent who are most likely to avoid a man who's unavailable.
In another poll, 71 per cent of both male and female respondents said that money can't buy love, but a full 21 per cent said it can.
"Money tends to play a big part in most relationships, especially when there is a significant gap between financial expectations and ... realities," said Trish McDermott, Match.com's vice president of romance. That's why her service allows singles to search by income level, as well as age, ethnicity and body type.
Academics, such as Eric Gould and Daniele Paserman of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, offer more scientific research on money and dating. The two professors reviewed income and marriage rate data from more than 300 US metropolitan areas and discovered that, in cities where men's salaries varied widely, women spent a longer time evaluating and selecting their mates. The reason: "higher male [wage] inequality increases the option value for single women to search longer for a husband".
Wade Rowatt, a psychology professor at Baylor University who studies deception, has noticed a reaction among men. Six to seven per cent have tried to impress a love interest by inflating their current or past salaries, compared with 1 to 3 per cent of women. Twelve per cent of men exaggerated their business titles - another, less verifiable, finance-related lie.
"People conform to the expectation they think the opposite sex has, so if they think the female wants a high-status male, they're more likely to fudge something ... about their wealth," Rowatt explains.
Women value other characteristics, such as intelligence and physical beauty, but "there is evolutionary evidence that they are more interested in the economic resourcefulness of their mates then men," Rowatt adds. "They have an obligatory gestational period of nine months [to have a baby] so they've needed someone who will ... invest in them."
In ancient times, that meant hunting food and protecting the family against predators. Now, it means earning a decent salary and using it the right way.
The National Retail Federation recently estimated that men would demonstrate their "economic resourcefulness" this Valentine's Day by spending an average $125.96, while women would spend only $38.22. Bride's magazine predicted that about 600,000 men would propose, most offering pricey engagement rings.
