Has this happened to anyone????????????????

[Watcher]

Hi everybody I just has a question. I have broke up with my RW (K1 was pending) but she will still e-mail me on occasion. Last email she stated that one of the reason that she broke up with me is that she felt that a foreign man should make his RW "more comfortable". She lives in a city of 1.5 million and makes 350.00 a month for herself. She lives with her parents whom both work also.I did send her a ATM card and gave her a allowence of $230.00 a month for six months which she overdrew almost each month so I stopped it. In the future when I find that next and hopefully last RW should I send her more?Just want to get some kind of feel for the proper amount.
Thanks

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Has this happened to anyone?..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Same thing happened to me over and over, and she gave me the same reasoning. I told her that it was over!

Steve

[Travis]

... in response to Has this happened to anyone?..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

Besides helping with English lessons or something along those lines, don't send anything. I did send money to my future wife and it was a huge mistake...one I'm still paying for!

[WmGo]

... in response to Has this happened to anyone?..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

that the bare minimum to send your FSUW fiance is $1000 a month? Most men send more. Anything less would make you a cheapskate who obviously has no love for the woman. After all, these are only economic relationships.

Better luck next time.

WmGO

P.S. The going rate to send them before you meet them is $350 per month. That is the current threshold amount for determing your worthiness. $500 is much better.

[juio99]

... in response to Don't you know, posted by WmGo on Feb 12, 2003

OK, then I am going to send $1,001 to those ladies I have met and $501 to those I haven't met yet.  That should really show them.  Thanks for the tip.

JR

[Ryan]

... in response to Has this happened to anyone?..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

After so much that has been written on this board about not sending money and especially after this first experience of yours that you would even ask this question.  

Speaking from my experience, with a few women from FSU area, it is really true that the good ones do not want your money and will even refuse it.  The first woman I got involved with lived in the Ukraine I sent her money before I even met her, I sort of Americanized her and she expected the money when I met her it went bad and I no longer talk or write to her today.   My second try I found another Ukraine woman, I only wrote to her and she never asked for money.  I even offered to send her something one time and she refused.  I know it was stupid to offer but it was sort of a test of mine.  Anyway with this second one I never pursued it any farther as we really had no connection even in our writing.  My third try I went to Russia and wrote to her, during this course of about 6 months of writing money came up about two times each time she made it clear that she didn’t like talking about money and that it was of no concern to her.  I offered to send her money so that she could meet me in Moscow as she lives in Togliatti.  She refused the money and said if I would like I could repay her after we met.  Everything went wonderful on our first meeting and continues in that manor today.  I just received my valentine day gift from her in the mail one of many gifts that she sends to me.  She is a good woman and real good woman would never consider talking about money even if she only had one rubel left in her pocket.  

In saying this it is my understanding when a good woman says that a foreign man is to make her feel comfortable on her visit and stay it mean in a mental and physical sense more then just giving her money all the time so she can go shopping or what ever.  Look you blew it by giving her an ATM card with an allowance and your even more blind when you simply overlooked the fact that she would overdraw the account.  You either crazy or simply a fat toad playing outside of your league?   Tell me was the woman arm candy or a trophy woman for you?

It is my feeling that to make this happen men should be completely honest with themselves.  

[tim360z]

... in response to It's a joke that you even have to ask......, posted by Ryan on Feb 12, 2003

find.  Take it easy on the guy Ry.  We guys do tend to make mistakes...we all do.  Sometimes a little money is so easy to give...sometimes it even makes us feel better by the act of giving it.  Most charities know this and angle their pitch in such a way as to make one feel better.  And some women can make a guy feel very very good,  because he spent money on her.

[chuck12]

... in response to Has this happened to anyone?..., posted by Watcher on Feb 11, 2003

When I first met my RW in Moscow for a week, and it was the last day before my departure I had close to 2,000 rubles remaining. I hadn't planned on changing the money back to U.S. funds, I figured I would give it to her for expenses since she was traveling back to Volgograd, (her flight was already paid for). I told her as we were getting ready to go to the airport, I wanted her to have some extra cash. She was fairly stubborn not wanting anything, telling me she didn't need my money, she had enough. Well, I didn't really believe her, so I asked her for her purse & quickly scoured through it. Yes, she was loaded, she had $5 rubles and change. I stuffed the 2,000 rubles in her purse and gave her a look that she knew it would do no good to argue, they do know when to be quiet sometimes This is an example of a gal who really could have used the money but would not take it... and she lived by herself and making 1/2 of what your ex RW was making.

[yoe]

... in response to here is one of my examples..., posted by chuck12 on Feb 12, 2003

if your little lady started putting on pounds, would you still bring her over? men go to FSU to find young, pretty and maybe educated women-when they are old, not so hansome and usuallu not well educated in the arts (which these women usually are). Now women look for stability. They so not care so much for the good looks or weight problems. But they do expect to be taken care of. So if you tell your fiance, 'hey girl, you can get by on $100 a month-you did it before me!" Would you want to marry you? Especially a doctor.........my god. When you guys go there and live for a year on $100 a month---------then come back to the board and brag about the lavish lifestyle. Until then.........I feel sorry for your fiances. I would never treat a woman I loved like this--------I would not even treat my dog like this. But that is just me.
Joe

[chuck12]

... in response to put those pumps on the other feets...., posted by yoe on Feb 12, 2003

Joe, whats your point? If an RW or UW requires you to send her funds while she waits for a K-1, it should be for a very good reason. The support comes when the two of you together. If it took 6 or 8 mos to file for a K-1 and you send her over hundreds or a couple grand over this period, and then she tells you to hit the road, all your generosity and go intentions are vapor.  Sending all the money overseas is not the same thing as giving her all the support and nuturing she is going to need when she arrives, get a grip and don't think all you have to do is send money to prove your undying love and she is yours for life. I want her to want to be with me and not influence her with my generosity, you will get yourself into a lot of trouble if you go down that road.
P.S. I don't send my dog any money either and he's never complained about it.

[WmGo]

... in response to Joe, I don't wear pumps but read on..., posted by chuck12 on Feb 12, 2003

Chuckster,
It is a waste of time to try to reason with a fool, especially one who thinks he knows everything but adds nothing but worthless drivel.

[yoe]

... in response to Re: read on..., posted by WmGo on Feb 12, 2003

I know you are but what am I?
hahahahaha
come on dude what is up with you conservatives and preemtive strikes.......a violent bunch ain't ya. Ya need need some Jesus son,,,,,,,,and I talkin' the little spanish boy sellin' oranges down the street......see where that takes your mind!
Joe

[Rando]

... in response to Re: read on..., posted by WmGo on Feb 12, 2003

Insted of worring about the pumps...why dont you guys try each others shoes on. No one has to or should agree here on every issue...but whats up with all the name calling?

For myself....hell I dont know crap....and the older I get, the less I seem to know. But Im trying to learn...thats why Im here...I like to hear "both" sides.

[yoe]

... in response to Re: Re: read on..., posted by Rando on Feb 12, 2003

.after Bill quits talkin out of his azz, you will get his better side........hahaha
Joe
you must admit, I can be a funny bastard.......I just wish my wife could appreciate it!:)

[yoe]

... in response to Joe, I don't wear pumps but read on..., posted by chuck12 on Feb 12, 2003

never condoned sending money to women who asked for it. Let me lay it out.
1. If you can afford it-why not help your soon to be WIFE
2. If you are living large and she is barely living-again why not help
3. My wife should not need to ask for money........
4. If I am making over $10k a month, my wife has reason to wonder why I would complain about $200+ a month I was sending her........her friends are probably getting more from guys who make less
5. I know your dog does not ask for money but I am sure that he is not living in a mud hole eating grass.....if he is you do not deserve a dog. If your 'wife' is living in poverty while you are living it up on a moderate 6 figures.....I would say that you do not deserve a wife-at least one with any credentials.
This is my opinion only. I do not mean to be crass...But my family hold the highest value in my life. If I question taking care of this-I must question myself as a man.
Joe