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Author Topic: List Of Gifts To Bring To USSR...Part 3 Final  (Read 2453 times)
RickM
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« on: January 29, 2003, 05:00:00 AM »

FOR YOURSELF TO MAKE THINGS A LITTLE EASIER WHILE TRAVELING...
-If you don't speak fluent  or hardly any Russian and you are going to Russia or a former part of Russia where Russian language is still pretty much the dominate spoken language then it'll probably be worth your while to purchase something like the Ectaco Electronic 486ER Handheld Language Translator.This precious little ithem will create hours of amusement,help you get your point across just about anywhere and let you know who to give some reading glasses to as they squint looking at it to read your message and while you teach them how to use it in reverse Smiley ...
-Bring some good ole USA 1000 sheet toilet paper rolls with you.Once there it'll pretty much be self-expainatory the reason why and if you leave a few rolls behind you'll certainly hear about it later on in the form of a joke or thanks...
-Bring DARK clothes and 4 or 5 changes will suffice (No whites,not even socks or underwear...Plan to go to a local bazzar when you arrive there and buy one of their black leather squarefront easy slip-on pairs of shoes.Russians take their shoes off when entering a house and tie shoes are a huge pain in the arse.Russian people don't display much eye contact on the streets and while speaking because to look someone in the eyes while speaking is the same to incinerate them you know more than them in their weird customarily ways.Whistling in a car or home is to wish bad financial luck so refrain from whistling at all cost unless outside working or something...If you forget something at home and return for it you need to look in the mirror before leaving...Before leaving for long travels everyone must sit in silence for a few minutes...There are too many more to list at the moment...As for how to dress while in Russia (excluding the younger kids and teens) and not look like a tourist,just try to imagine your local immigrant "greenhorn' from the neighborhood with the black polyester pants and wool striped dark shirt with the 6 year old suit jacket and try to imitate that with your newly bought Russian shoes and you'll nead right int the population until you open your mouth....
AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING A GOOD OLE ROLL OF DUCT TAPE WITH YOU.IT HAS 1 MILLION USES OUT THERE BUT VODKA SEEMS TO GO THROUGH THE SHOT GLASSES OUT THERE SO QUICKLY OUT THERE YOU'LL SWEAR THAT THE GLASSES HAVE A HOLE IN THE BOTTOM OF THEM SO BREAK OUT A ROLL WHILE DRINKING WITH RUSSIAN PEOPLE AND EXPLAIN TO THEM YOU WANT TO USE IT FOR THE BOTTOM OF THEIR GLASSES AND YOU'LL BECOME AN INSTANT COMEDIAN IN A NEW YORK SECOND AND PROBABLY CREATE ONE OF THE BEST LAUGHS AMONGST EVERYONE YOU'LL HAVE DURING YOUR COMPLETE VACATION WITH THAT LINE...........
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