Filipino Weddings

[The Walker]

It is rough this year, the early calving season ran smack into regular season with almost no break. Ah, the joys of owning livestock! I am up tonight and Jose has the watch tomorrow night.

Anyway, weddings. As long-timers know Vicky was married previously and the marriage was annulled. So we did not have as huge a wedding as would have been the case for her family's status for a first wedding. It was in a chapel or whatever on her family's property. There were only about 60 guests at the wedding itself, I think. Close family only and a very few very good friends. But the reception on the other hand was a sight. Uncle handled it all as a gift to Vicky. I could not have handled it in any case, not due to expense but time. I offered to pay but Uncle refused. I did pay for the wedding feast but feeding a multitude in the Philippines is cheap compared to the US. It only set me back $2 large. Vicky had an off-white (ivory?) wedding dress. Custom made I am sure. From paying for my daughter's wedding I would estimate the cost of Vicky's dress at about $5,000 US dollars if bought here. Minimum. Of course in the RP it was probably MUCH cheaper. Still, it was a magnificent dress. Add the bride's maids dresses, decorations and stuff and it must have set Uncle back a tidy sum of pesos. The reception was a big thing. If I spent $2 grand on feeding the gang in the RP you can imagine the size of it and I am sure that amount didn't cover it all. I have absolutely no idea how many people were there. Workers from the company, political people, church people, relatives and friends and those wishing to be seen. Movers and shakers as well. Uncle has a lot of pull and loves showing it off to impress rivals. He does a good job of it, too. Now, Vicky was from a very old and very well-connected family. So it was a reception along the lines of Don Corleone's tastes. The wedding was very formal. I just did as the priest whispered and it all came off all right. I don't really remember much about it, to Vicky's intense disgust. But the reception was a cross between The Godfather and Animal House. All we needed was a band doing "Louie, Louie" and an FBI man taking license plates numbers outside the gate and the mixed illusion would have been complete. Talk was in several varieties of Filipino from Tagalog to Cebuano and everything in-between. Toss in some Chinese and Malay and English and Spanish and who knows what else. Probably Martian, "Grok". The party lasted long after Vicky and I made our graceful exit to begin our honeymoon aboard the yacht (the honeymoon cruise was a present of a friend of Uncle's).

So you see, you can go from literally a two dollar wedding with a bucket of KFC, as one fellow posted, to something that in the states would set you back $50 large, or better. Probably cost Uncle at least $15,000 USD, maybe more, in 1999 Dollars. If I had been Vicky's only wedding, it would have been much bigger. Probably something on the order of $30 grand USD. But in defense of the guy with the civil wedding, the cost of the wedding doesn't mean all that much when you think on it later. The children you have together and the family you have means a whole lot more.

Our US wedding was as different from our RP wedding as possible. Again, the olden timers here will remember. It was a Native American show. And a show it was. Tribal members from mom's side and German-Americans from dad's family. Even Vicky's Uncle put on some war paint and had a go. We held a mock attack and capture theme where my bunch "attacked" Vicky's "village" and I caught her from horseback carried her off at full gallop, war paint, war cries and all. Then we had a wedding in our style performed by the Shaman followed by a potluck feast of Indian foods and German food from dad's side. Everything from venison and maize to weinerschnitzel and currywurst. And a lot of beer. In this case Vicky's "gown" was a handmade doeskin full dress, fully decorated, made by the elder women of the tribe, with moccasins. Made up that way she looks remarkably like a Native American woman. More specifically she look like a Dakota woman. **HINT: Never use the word "Squaw" around a real Native American woman. It can get you scalped - or worse!**

So actually it didn't cost me all that much. Everybody brought or made their potluck meals. The venison and such came from my land. The teepees were set up on the land and that is where the tribal people stayed, with the others in a local hotel or in my home the night before. Of course local guests stayed in their own homes. Since it was an open-air affair on my own land there was no extra cost there. I think it ran me about $4,000 all told. Cheaper than my daughter's wedding, I can tell you.

Of course I did make gifts to the Shaman as is custom but those I didn't count. Anyhow we had a rollicking good time and everyone went away happy. Tribal people stayed a few days as the weather was very nice and the tribal women completed Vicky's education in the care and management of a warrior.

So things can run the gamut on both sides. I don't know how many of you had another wedding in the US for the stateside family. If you did that has to be counted in. But even a "cheap" marriage in the RP is pretty costly when you figure in the cost of getting there and all, so I don't look down on anyone with a civil marriage. Wooing and winning a Filipina is rather costly in and of itself, just in travel and postage and phone bills. Better save the big bucks for decorating the nursery and getting college savings started. And aspirin for dealing with the INS post 9-11. Lori darling, I feel for you.

-The Walker

[JEM]

... in response to Filipino Weddings, posted by The Walker on Apr 1, 2002

I will never forget the special luxury limousine on our wedding day: The neighbors Tricycle.

[The Walker]

... in response to Re: Filipino Weddings, posted by JEM on Apr 1, 2002

I think that sometimes a really large, expensive wedding robs you of a lot of fun memories down the road. You'll remember that trike forever. You'll use the story on your kids when they want a new car on their 16th birthday.

"You kids have got it soft. Back when we was married, all we had was a bucket of KFC and a tricycle. Why, we had to hand-stencil the wedding certificate ourselves and the only witnesses were two cops busting heads on drunks so they took the time to sign for us. Then we had to ride that open trike twenty miles in the sun to get to our hotel room that didn't have air conditioning and it was a hundred and twenty in the shade. We sure would have liked to have a new car then. Just about that time the typhoon hit, the volcano erupted, and...." ;-)

But the big wedding is just a bunch of people in uncomfortable clothes roasting in the heat. I really don't see what women see in a big church wedding. Must be an ovarian thing.

About three years ago, I attended a friend's wedding in Virginia Beach, Virginia. The day the wedding was supposed to happen it couldn't because a hurricane hit (Harvey, I think) the day before. He and I sat on his front porch, eating cheese and drinking wine from the bottle and watched the hurricane. Power lines down for three days, flooding highways, no running water. The cake had to be re-iced. Not many people made the wedding, and we had to decorate the church ourselves, him and me. The bride and her family were stuck in Roanoke and couldn't get there for two more days. I finally had to go get them in my 4WD and take back roads where there were any open and bypass cops on roadblocks by driving cross-country. So what was supposed to be a fairly good-sized church wedding was full of stories instead of people. All sorts of stories of getting things at the last minute or improvising. But finally the highways reopened and about a third of the people made it in. And as the bride and groom stepped out of the church after saying their vows to go across to the reception, the returning navy jets flew over in low level formation just as if it had been planned that way.

Those are the sorts of weddings people remember forever. Tricycles, hurricanes and Indian raids. Not the big, catered, no trouble weddings. Count yourself lucky. You'll have lots of funny stories to tell.

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Filipino Weddings, posted by The Walker on Apr 2, 2002

You may be right Don. Maybe it is an ovarian thing that causes women to want a big church wedding. Every guy I know, including myself would prefer to skip all the hassles and just get it over with fast. With a lot of Filipinas though, it’s not just the idea of spending a lot of money, but a religious issue as well. For a devout Catholic to marry in a civil wedding is a no-no, but it can be done in the church without all the frills. I know a few guys who were married over there by a priest, without the nuptial mass and a bunch of guests, and I don’t think it cost them any more than a judge would charge for a civil ceremony in his chambers.

My first wedding was the cheapo variety. A couple of days after my fiancée arrived from the Philippines, we drove to Las Vegas with 2 witnesses and got the J.O.P. $10 special at the courthouse. KFC was too pricey for us, so we hit the $.75 buffet at one of the casinos for our “reception”. We were happy but over the years the wife confided that she felt something was missing because she didn’t have her dream wedding and we never did have the opportunity to go back and do the church thing.

My current wife would have been satisfied with a simple wedding here, but the poor woman had always dreamed of a traditional Filipino wedding in the church, so I wanted her to have it her way. I am now a firm believer that you should try to make your bride happy on her wedding day if at all possible. I have a lot of respect for the guys that can’t afford it now but go back at a later date to have a traditional ceremony. If it’s that important to the woman, then it’s probably well worth the trouble.

The most memorable wedding I attended was when I was the best man for a Navy buddy. He brought his fiancée over on a K-1, but she had problems with her medical exam. Before they would issue her a visa, he had to sign some papers promising to take her to the medical center here for evaluation/treatment for TB within 72 hours of her arrival and guarantee payment for her medical expenses. She went in for the tests after she got here and they had to admit her to the TB ward for a couple of weeks. When he found out what it was going to cost, he had to get married fast so that the Navy (CHAMPUS) would pick up the costs. I picked up the clerk from the courthouse with the marriage license documents and brought her to the hospital where the hospital chaplain married them in the TB ward. Some nurses bought a cake and decorated a small room on short notice. The bride wore a white hospital gown with surgical mask. Just when the groom was supposed to say “I Do”, he fainted. I just barely caught him before he hit the floor. A few sniffs of smelling salts got him back on his feet to finish the ceremony. When the chaplain said “You may kiss the bride”, her doctor said “Oh no you don’t”! Had to settle for a peck on the cheek. They had to postpone the honeymoon for a couple of weeks, so he and I went down to the local bar to get drunk and celebrate. That was the first and only time I went along with another guy on his wedding night (LOL!)

Ray

[joemc]

... in response to Filipino Weddings, posted by The Walker on Apr 1, 2002

Hi Walker,
       It seems you had a grand wedding,and thanks again
       on your conment about civil weddings.Because that
       was the way I did it back in 82. My post with Ray
       about wedding costs, is how I got married.
       The way I look at it, I am just being a surivor.
       When it comes to Fil-am or any other culture
       relationship there's alot to be learned.
       And it seems more differcult to get marry over
       there. These days a kano has a tougher field to
       hoe.  Thanks again and I give you all my luck
                                            Joemc
       by the way how do you perpare your venison

[The Walker]

... in response to Re: Filipino Weddings, posted by joemc on Apr 1, 2002

Venison? About a dozen different ways. Roast, jerked, stuffed and fried, boiled, broiled, pemmican, you name it. Soup and stew, too.

Heck, a lot of people in the US have "cheap" civil marriages. Doesn't mean they themselves are cheap, just that they would rather put the money into the honeymoon or a car or a bigger place or the future kid's college fund or whatever. 'Taint the size of the ceremony, it's the size of the commitment to each other.

Really, our stateside wedding was cheap by the standards of bang for the buck. The local priest wanted in on it as he studies marriage customs from all over, so we let him in as a travelling padre missionary or something. I forget exactly what he was. He was fascinated by teepee living as the tribe showed it off. He certainly found the actual "attack" to be thriling as he became a "casualty" of sorts.

We stampeded into the teepee village at full gallop in paint and on horses, bareback. Firing blunt arrows and such. I rode up to Vicky who had to run and really try to evade me. I think she forgot this was not for real as I came thundering down on her whooping war cries and all. The priest got in the way so I smacked him across the back with a coup stick and then "shot" him with a padded-tip arrow in the chest. Snatched Vicky up off the ground at full gallop and thundered off with her thrown across the horse in front of me. Of course she had not seen me in paint before and didn't recognize me at first. Had to yell at her to hold still so I wouldn't drop her as I didn't want to do it the Indian way by twisting her arm and holding her by the hair. Heck of a time, sure gets your blood up. ;-)

[joemc]

... in response to Re: Re: Filipino Weddings, posted by The Walker on Apr 2, 2002

Thanks again for throwing me a bone

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Re: Filipino Weddings, posted by The Walker on Apr 2, 2002

Wow Don!

Vicky and your stateside wedding was certainly one to remember! I'm sure that the Philippine wedding was wonderful also.

You're giving me some ideas for when we renew our vows...somewhere down the path. My wife hasn't seen me in Scottish warpaint yet. ;o))) She likes the kilt, but I think the verdict is still out on the bloodpipes (bagpipes). =8oO

Dave H.

[The Walker]

... in response to Amazing Wedding!, posted by Dave H on Apr 2, 2002

Under the kilt....Regimental, correct? ;-)

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Amazing Wedding!, posted by The Walker on Apr 2, 2002

The Scotsman's kilt

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

chorus:
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt.

They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first
prize"

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
He said, "Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first
prize"

[Ray]

... in response to Ay Sir!, posted by Dave H on Apr 3, 2002

:-)

[Jeff S]

... in response to Filipino Weddings, posted by The Walker on Apr 1, 2002

It sounds like you guys had two of the most memorable weddings ever. The native American one would have been the one I'd have wanted to seen, having been fascinated with native American culture and history for many years. Sounds absolutely fantastic.

Excuse my city boy ignorance, but I always though cows just give birth like deer in the woods. Do they require assistance? (Like in the movie City Slickers?)

-- Jeff S.

[The Walker]

... in response to Wow Don, Serious Blowouts!, posted by Jeff S on Apr 1, 2002

These are high value breeding stock, not burgers on the hoof. Each calf is quite valuable and we have to be ready if a cow is having trouble. You could wind up with a dead calf, which would be a loss, or a dead mother too, which would be a serious ouchie on the balance sheet. So far, no breach births or anything too bad. A few stuck that needed a little help. The cow would probably bring the calf on herself but no sense in taking chances. Plus, the calf is ear tagged at birth. For serious things the vet is on call.

And it helps if you clear out the afterbirth right away. Don't want to draw coyotes, skunks, racoons and possums to the calving pens. A coyote could cause a calf to be trampled in the melee.