How to get a new family abroad.

[Horoshij]

Hi,

You want to marry a Russian woman? Great, it can be very good for you, however you should understand and calculated with the facts that you will also get a father in law and a mother in law and maybe some other new members of your family over there. Since Russian ladies have closer ties to their family, I believe, than most American men have, you should be prepared to send them Christmas gifts (it costs more to send than to buy). When something bad is happening, illness and other dramatic problems, that will make your wife upset, and is it possible for you to sit and look without helping economical? She will need to make phone calls and there will also be situations when she will need to go back. These are facts you also should include into your calculation.

It's a great pleasure to get a good (Russian) wife, but you also get a lot of new obligations. I hope you are ready for that.

Haroshij

[Oscar]

... in response to How to get a new family abroad., posted by Horoshij on Jan 4, 2003

In other words, they love their familes just like anyone else does and they would expect to visit them occasionally just like anyone else would... ;-)

My fiance calls her family every Sunday for 15-20 minutes.  That comes to about $10 per month.  She hopes and expects that it would be possible for her to go back to Ukraine to visit every 2 or 3 years.  Do I have a problem with that?  No, not at all.  I would want to do the same.

[KenC]

... in response to Re: How to get a new family abroad., posted by Oscar on Jan 5, 2003

Oscar,
No offense, but limiting your girls contact to 15-20 minutes per week and limiting her travel home to once every 2-3 years seems awfully tight to me.  Now, we may be at the other end of the spectrum, but Lena has been home once and her parents will have visited twice in a 3 1/2 year span.  And the only reason she hasn't been home more is because she refused to travel back before she got her green card.  Now that the green card is secured, I expect a yearly trip home.  She speaks with family and friends at least every other day and for a lot longer than 15 minutes.  As I said, you and I may be at opposite ends of the spectrum, but I also think that a newbie should anticipate more than a $10/month phone bill and the expense greater than one trip over a three year period.
KenC

[Oscar]

... in response to Huh?, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

No Ken, I would never limit my girls phone use or tell her she could not go home to visit.  She is the one who calls home and as I have stated above in the thread, I never tell her one thing about it..  When she calls on Sunday (she says that's the best time for her family as they are usually all together), she has talked for about 20-25 minutes..  I have told her that she can speak as long as she likes, but she's pretty cost conscious (remember, she wouldn't hear of my going to Warsaw just for her interview, she thought it would be a total waste of money and vacation time) and as with your girl insisting on getting a job to pay for her Christmas presents for you her first year here, my girl is just very careful.  She is the one who told me that she didn't feel it was resaonable for her to go back more than every two or three years.  As I have said above, if that changes, it's ok with me.  And it may certainly change, we're still pretty new at this and I think nothing can or ought to be set in stone..
For example, she has called home today because her little boy has a sore throat and had to stay home from school.  I think it made her feel more comfortable being able to talk to her Mother about it, what to do etc..  I think that's great.

I hope this clarifies a little bit..

[KenC]

... in response to Re: Huh?, posted by Oscar on Jan 7, 2003

Oscar,
I see where I made a mistake in saying that YOU were limiting her to the phone calls and trips and not that she was ther one imposing the limits.  Sorry.  You really should look into the phone cards though.  You can cut down the cost significantly and there by encourage her to call more often.  (Just between us, it is her that has to put up with the frustration of disconnects and such)  Of course this all depends upon her need to stay in contact with home.  I know that it is a necessity here as Lena is very close with her family.
KenC

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Re: Huh?, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

You know, I really tried a bunch of the different phone cards but the quality was just so lousy to Dnepro that I finally gave up..
I really do encourage her to call, like I did today as her boy was sick.. She can call whenever she wants, she does know that.  Perhaps she is just trying to show some restraint or something, I don't know.  I am sure things will losen up some as time goes on..

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: How to get a new family abroad., posted by Oscar on Jan 5, 2003

I use a $5 phone card & get around 13-18 minutes out of it. You ought to try one out. It could cut your costs in half.

[Oscar]

... in response to $10 for 15 or 20 minutes?!...., posted by Frank O on Jan 6, 2003

I have tried the phone cards but never get the quality sound to Dnepropetrovsk I get with WDT.  16 cents is fine for the sound quality, also never get busy signals or cut off like I have with phone cards.

[Pordzhik]

... in response to How to get a new family abroad., posted by Horoshij on Jan 4, 2003

Give us an account of the extra costs you are paying.

Where in Russia does your wife travel to?

How often do her relatives come to Norway?

What does 1000 Kroner buy in the richest country in the world?

What was the cost of the bone operation to you?

How percentage are your wifes earnings compared to Norwegian womans?

What are the costs of your wifes travel? Does she or you pay for this?

[Horoshij]

... in response to Re: How to get a new family abroad., posted by Pordzhik on Jan 5, 2003

n/t

[Horoshij]

... in response to Re: How to get a new family abroad., posted by Pordzhik on Jan 5, 2003

Wow, that was a lot of questions.

I'll try to tell as good as I can.

Q no. 1. In fact both my wife and I are better off now than earlier. She has a good income.

Q. no. 2 St.Petersburg

Q. no. 3. There are no regularity in this. These three years there have been more than one visit every year. Last year we had two visits. One from family and one from friends.

Q. no. 4 What you can buy for 1000 Nok? A cheap new car costs  a little less than 200 000. O good computer you can buy for 7000 Nok. A visit to the doctor costs 110. To fill the fuel tank costs about 500. Everything in Norwegian kroner (Nok). Most things are expensive in Norway.

Q.  no 5. We added something to the regular monthly payment over time (that is doubled it).

Q. no. 6. Her income is higher than the average in Norway both men and women taken into consideration.

Q. no. 7. I don't exactlay remember the costs for a travel to Russia. In summer we drove by car. This time she will go by plane. I will suggest about 1000 $, probably more. We don't talk about my money or her money. We talk about our money, so we both pay for that flight.

Satiesfied. Now I would like to ask you the some questions:

Why did you ask?
Do your wife work?
Who is in charge of your economy? How much do your wife decide?
Have you got visitors from your wifes family?

Have a nice evening. Is it raining over there? Heard there were some problem with too much water.

Haroshij

[Pordzhik]

... in response to Re: Re: How to get a new family abroad., posted by Horoshij on Jan 5, 2003

I asked to get some perspective.

Your prices are about the same as we have here in Gt.Britain, except the doctors cost which is free.

Your flights are expensive for so short distance, why is that? I could get St.Pete return for £175 from here.

My wife works part-time and earns about 25% of what I do, she takes care of her money well and sometimes helps me with the larger expenses. Most of my money gets paid directly into the bank which takes care of the mortgage and other regulat bills. I guess I decide where the larger part of it goes.

We haven't had any of her family or friends visit yet, I've mentioned it, but we haven't got around to doing anything about it. Nobody over there has suggested anything.

Was it raining here? Didn't notice

[Horoshij]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: How to get a new family abro..., posted by Pordzhik on Jan 5, 2003

Thank you for your answers.

Domestic flights are unreasonable expensive i Norway. By plane  we need to go via Oslo, and remember Norway is big. There are vast distances here. That makes the whole difference.

I'm quite sure the prices are lower in GB than here. At least that is what we believe here. We pay only for doctors and medicine up to certain level. Above that it's free. All treatment in hospitals are free.

How long time have you been married with your Ukrainian lady?

I agree with you. Those money we send makes whole lot of difference for her family.

Well, we are getting more of that white "rain". I think we have enough now, in fact more than enough.

Haroshij

[Horoshij]

... in response to How to get a new family abroad., posted by Horoshij on Jan 4, 2003

n/t

[Horoshij]

... in response to How to get a new family abroad., posted by Horoshij on Jan 4, 2003

is it so that it's more interesting to dicuss how much you need to pay for cigarettes than the new commitments you get when you marry a foreign lady?

I've been married twice. My first wife was a Norwegian lady, and the next Russian. I can promise you that till the day Elena started to work, I could feel the new economical burden. When Elena came here, she came empty-handed. She hadn't saved up any rights to pensions here of course, and it worried me because she is 15 years younger. I will probably die many years before her, and I want her to have a secure future here. She had burned many bridges behind her, and she could not easily go back. Therefore I felt responsible for her in many ways, and I bought a privat pension for her (In Norway we have very good public pensions (folketrygd = people's security), but you need to be member some years to get full benefit from it).

She also needed a lot of new clothes, especially sporting clothes. She has family in Russia, and this winter her mother needed to go to the hopital. I've always believed that they had free medical care in Russia like in Norway. Well, it's free, but if you don't pay extra you don't get good quality of your treatment, not the best medicines, not the best materials when the need to strenghten the skeleton with screws and artificial shins. People get pension very early in Russia (at the age of 55), however what they get paid is so little that it's hard for them to live on it. Therefore most people who have a pension continue to work. So if for one reason or another they have to stop to work, they have a problem. Russian people are very afraid of being ill. In this situation we had to help them of course. I feel the same obligation as if it had been my own parents.

Elena has also sent home every month 1000 Norwegian kroner (143 US$) Now she is making money herself, that she didn't all the time.

She also wants to go home regularly. Usually she goes two times every year (I usually go with her on one the trips), and we have had her parents, brother and sister and friends for visits here. Not all of them paid the costs themselves.

This are only a few of the commitments you have to calculate with when you get a foreign bride. It's true you can withdraw the costs of some cheap taxfree vodka when she comes back from Russia :-).

Haroshij