Questions for the married guys

[KenC]

In a post below, Oscar writes that his fiancee calls home for 10-15 minutes per week and that he expects her to visit home once every 2-3 years.  I am of the opinion that his expectations are very low.  I also posted below that my wife calls home to friends and family at least every other day.  I also expect my wife to travel home once a year and that my in laws will visit us every 18 months or so.  My questions are:
1) How often does your wife call home?
2) How often does your wife travel home?
3) How often do your in laws visit?
-
I would like to put this topic in prospective for my own information and for a realistic guideline for the newbies.

[waverlywoodsgeo]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

My wife calls her mother every week, we have the MCI international calling plan.  She only talks for 10-15 minutes.  She calls her best friend maybe once every couple of months.  I think one thing is that my wife did not live with her mother, and in fact lived a long way from her mother, so I think she is used to calling her mother and talking for a very short time.

My wife has absolutely no desire to return to Russia anytime soon.  We may go over next summer, because we are going to have a baby, to let her mother see the baby.  My wifes mother lives in a remote area, so I would fly her to Moscow or St Petersburg and meet her there.  

My mother in law is very young, so obtaining a visitors visa would be difficult.  

My advice for guys is to get Russian television via the DISH Network, I think it gets rid of some of the homesickness.  

My wife has been in the USA for nearly two years and things are great.

[micha1]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

I do like the way you phrased that question,  "for the marry guy."

The single guy do not have an opinion on most question.
But the the married guy have,  it is their wife opinion.

[SteveM]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

I agree, Oscar's experience may not be typical.  Who knows if mine is either, but here it is:

1.  My mother-in-law has been over twice in two years.  Because they are now issuing tourist visas (for those lucky enough to get them) as one-year, multi-entry, it makes sense to get the visits 10 months apart to save on the hassle of going to Moscow to apply for/interview for a new visa.  We are also hoping to be able to get our friend's daughter over for a month this coming summer.

2.  The first year my wife and (Russian) son headed back as soon as school was finished, and my other (American) son and I followed a few weeks later.  Now that my wife is working full-time, it looks like we will probably make it over every other year.  This summer we are hoping to do St. Petersburg for the 300th anniversary.  Getting a Russian tour package to Turkey is also a future priority.

3.  She calls at least 2-3 times/week.  Getting cheap rates is always important.  We had good luck with nobelcom.com until February of last year, then the cards stopped working and customer service was unhelpful.  This fall, I asked if they would make good on the cards, they exchanged them for new ones, and we have been going through about $40/month at 6 cents/minute.

Steve M.

[AronM II]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

1)  My wife's calls home to Bulgaria average about once per week for about 45 minutes.  I encourage her to call as often as she wants, but she's cheap:-)  She also is able to email and/or chat with her parents and brother 4-5 times per week, sending photo's just about every time.

2)  We plan on returning once per year.  This year we'll go back together for about 2 weeks, but in the future she'll probably take her 30 day break from teaching in August there, with me visiting for the last 2 weeks.

3)  Parents say the only thing that could get them over their fear of flying is a baby.  Guess it's gonna be a while yet:-)

[Mike]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

My wife calls home every day and spends about $20 a month on phone cards. (she uses one that is about $.07 a minute to Moscow) She visits home about once a year for a month. We have yet to try to bring her mom here but that will probibly take place this year.

Mike

[Marty]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

1.  Once every week or two, depends alot on the connection, but she calls whenever she wants.  Don't know the minutes but it runs about $80/mo ave.  Only calls her family, sends letters to her friends.

2.  Once every two years is the plan.  I have family in Alaska so kind of an alternating thing.  This is her year to go again.  Last time she went for 2.5 months and I joined her for the last 2 weeks.  Worked out fine.  This also let me help her back through the borderguards without getting hit for bribe money, and yes they were in the process of doing so before I stepped in and stopped it.  

3.  Her parents have refused to come.  Afraid to leave their house unattended for any length of time.  Also, their health isn't that great.  Her sister may come if things work out, difficult to leave her job when unemployment is so high.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

1) 2 or 3 times per week
2) Once a year
3) Once a year

- Jeff S.

[R Danneskjold]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

Hello Ken

Since we married more than two years ago Lena has called her parents and grandparents for approximately one hour a week in addition to calling her friends in Ukraine and elsewhere in Europe occasionally. We decided at the time we married about installing a computer with Internet and mail at her parent’s home. In addition to daily mailing Lena exchange pictures with her parents all the time after we added a digital camera for her parent’s computer also.
If it hadn’t been for the mail there would have been more phone calls.

We have had three vacations together in Ukraine for approximately two weeks at a time.

This morning we drove her parents to the airport after their second Christmas and New Year celebration here in Norway.

A few more things to help her feel more independent were her own car, a cell-phone and a job during the first year.

Today she is working together with me in my small company and earning her own money, so except for travelling she decides herself about most things.

Jan

[tfcrew]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

1) Talks w/ her son at least weekly
2)  Has been back to Ua. 3 times in 3 yrs (going back in May as I wrote you this morn).
3) Her parents are no longer in this life but we hope her son will visit someday.

[tfcrew]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

1) Talks w/ her son at least weekly
2)  Has been back to Ua. 3 times in 3 yrs (going back in May as I wrote you this morn).
3) Her parents are no longer in this life but we hope her son will visit someday.

[tfcrew]

... in response to re...question, posted by tfcrew on Jan 7, 2003

What gives?

[Jeff]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

My wife calls home about once a week too, but she usually talks for about an hour.  I get a really cheap calling card though that only costs 8 cents a minute, and she usually uses the whole $5 card at one time.  We have been back to Ukraine in November, 2 years after my wife got here, and we don't have plans to go back anytime soon.  We would like her mother to visit sometime, but it would be too difficult for the whole family to come.

[Oscar]

... in response to That seems about right, posted by Jeff on Jan 7, 2003

I told my fiance that if she wants to go back to Ukraine every year, that would be ok, but it would mean that we would be doing small domestic trips whereas if she goes home every other year, we could take a vacation on the off years to places like Hawaii, the Caribbean, Mexico etc..

She understood this and felt it quite reasonable..  Who knows, she may change her mind later but for now, she likes the idea.  But she is pretty frugal though.  I gave her $600 for her trip to Warsaw and for her and her sons Visa's, hotel etc..  I told her if she had anything left to buy something if she wanted.  She came back with $250! LOL!  Instead of paying $100 per night for 2 nights in a hotel, she found very nice accomodations at a local University, gave the landlady a bottle of Vodka and stayed 2 nights for $50 total..  She refused to buy any clothes in the Paris airport, said they were too expensive.  I bought her some nice clothes for Christmas but she refuses to go shopping for clothes here until the really big sales are on in February.  

Time will tell how the going home thing pans out.  At least that is our current plan.  It's not set in stone or anything.

[Stan B]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

My wife calls home 2 or 3 times a week for about 1/2 an hour each call. She also talks to friends in the USA, but at 7 cents a minute, who cares. So our total monthly long distance bill comes to about $60 / month.
As for traveling home, Marytna and Katya have been here for a year & 1/4 and plan on spending the summer in Ukraine. Since we live about 45 hours of travel time away, she doesn't really want to do this more than every other year. So their 10-12 weeks each time should help to make up for the infrequency of their visits.
As for her mom visiting, she is single, retired and owns no property, so we think her chances are pretty slim.