Questions for the married guys

[Oscar]

... in response to I think Oscar was , posted by Pordzhik on Jan 7, 2003

Yes, I think it probably is too early to know what will be best for sure at this point, but it was actually she who suggested that more than every 2 years would not be reasonable (at least to her)..  But then you are talking about a woman who refused to even let me pay for her English lessons there, and paid for them on her own.. She could change her mind of course.. But don't they say that's a womans perogative?? ;-)

[John F]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

We have no rule as to how often my wife calls home, but it probably averages out to at least a couple of time per week.  My wife, through the local Russian community grapevine, discovered a calling card that enables to call Crimea for 9 cents per minute.  In addition, they communicate daily via email.  My wife's brother, who lives with her parents has a computer with internet connection.  My wife also has friends from Ukraine who live in various parts of the USA who she communicates with on her cell phone.

My wife has been her three years now, and has traveled home once.  She did experience some uneasy moments in Borispol on her trip home and now doesn't want to go back to Ukraine again until she can do so with an American passport.  She will be eligible for naturalization this year, and I have no problem with her visiting her family each year, and actually encourage her to visit her family at least every other year.

My in-laws have not yet visited here, but since my wife doesn't want to visit them this year as explained we have invited them here and have begun checking the requirements.  After that, due to their age, I don't think they will make another trip.

[Pordzhik]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

1) About twice weekly to her family and once weekly to her friends. 60-80 minutes at a cost of £5-£7.00 weekly.

2) About four times yearly, with a total time spent in Ukraine of about three months every year, I visit with her about half that time.

3) Hasn't happened yet. None of her relatives has yet expressed any interest in coming here to visit. That would no doubt change if my wife didn't visit so often.

I guess my wife does spend the longest time over there. She appreciates the time spent there with her family and says that later when she has a full-time job and/or children, she will not be able to go over so often, so she's making the most of the situation now. I would add that if (like for you guys) the airfares were more expensive and with the increase in travel time, then her trips would be less.

Btw Most of the RW's that we know of here, are making trips back home two or three times yearly, and often bringing the in-laws for extended visits of three monthd or so.

[RW]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

Ken,

I was surprised to read about $10-15 a month too. My phone bill is usually $60-80 per month, different from month to month. I usually call home about twice a week, but talk for a long time to my Mom and sister. I also call my grandparents in Ukraine, but that is only on weekends, for 15-20 minutes. On another note, I always try to call my parents myself as phone rates are much lower in US and more affordable for me than what my parents would have to pay back at home. So even when they call me themselves, I call them back right away.

As for trips, I have been to Vlad two times and I think I won't be going back for awhile. I get only two weeks vacation at work, so personally I would rather go to some new and warm places which don't take 24 hours of travel and another week of recovering and time adjustment. What we are thinking about is rather bringing over my sister and parents either for the whole summer or for a longer than two weeks stay. It would be more fun for them and more opportunities to spend time with them for me.

Also, on another note, it really depends on how close of the relationship the girl might have with her parents. I know I can talk for hours with my Mom or sister and we always have to cut it down, but for somebody else 20 minutes a week might be enough, I don't know. But $10 monthly bill is very low expectation - that would not even cover phone calls to the russian girls who live in different states in USA once she starts making new friends. It is nice to have a cell phone too, so that I know I can get a hold of my husband if anything happens to the car or if I am running late.

Russian Wife

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Questions for the married guys, posted by RW on Jan 7, 2003

Olya has used hers twice to call me to tell me of problems with her car.

During the first year or so, I worked mostly out of our home, so accessability was never a problem.

As I have begun traveling more extensively again - and as she has taken employment and also goes to university - the cellphone is a great tool for emergencies and overall piece of mind.

Great point RW.

- Dan

[Dan]

... in response to Questions for the married guys, posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

We expect that Olya and I will travel to Ukraine at a minimum of once a year - and probably more often than that.

I honestly don't know how many minutes or how much time she spends on the phone with Ukraine. I do know it is almost daily. Whatever it is, it is miniscule compared to mine, hence, not worth thinking too much about.

In-laws have not yet traveled here, but I'm sure they will at some point in the future. How often? They are pretty clear about never wishing to relocate to the US, so I suspect it will be pretty limited - especially since we will be in Ukraine often enough for the family to see one another.

Some guys in this endeavor are just cheap. They balk over spending $40 a night in Odesa - they complain about spending a few $$ on telephone calls - they are too cheap to take the girls they meet out to a nice dinner. While I don't suggest throwing money around with abandon, I do think some guys are just toooooo focused on frugality. While I can accept some guys are probably just squeaking-by - others of the same frugal ilk claim to be "professional" and presumably with a good income.

To each his own.

- Dan

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Questions for the married guys, posted by Dan on Jan 7, 2003

Of course Dan I realize you are referring to me and that's ok.  The truth is that my girl is the frugal one.  I never tell her how long she can talk on the phone or that she can only go home every 2 or 3 years.  She is the one who has decided what she has.  She seems to spend about 20-25 minutes on the phone calling home every Sunday and talks to everyone in her family and yes, they are very close.  I never say a thing about it one way or the other.  She never expected to go home yearly but perhaps that will change over time  If it does, I have no problem with it.

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Re: Questions for the married guys, posted by Oscar on Jan 7, 2003

(Such as *yours*) is low on my list of interest items.

Sorry Steve.

- Dan

[Oscar]

... in response to Don't Flatter Yourself - A Newby's Opini..., posted by Dan on Jan 7, 2003

Well, I'm sorry you are having such a bad day Dan.  I posted a very appropriate reply to a subtle slam and this is how you respond..  As I said, sorry you are having such a bad day, I hope it gets better.

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Don't Flatter Yourself - A Newby's O..., posted by Oscar on Jan 7, 2003

As I said above, you hold not the slightest interest to me Steve. Your assertion that your post was a "reply to a subtle slam" is simply another of your grandiose delusions.

Why do you *think* I am having a "bad day" Steve? Another of your petty antics aimed at provoking yet another confrontation perhaps?

Get over yourself Steve. Your silly shenanigans are boorish.

- Dan

[Oscar]

... in response to Yet More Passive-Aggressive Behavior . ...., posted by Dan on Jan 7, 2003

Ok Dan, I hope you feel better now.  Now perhaps we can just end this, before it gets worse, does that sound ok?  I really have too much on my plate right now with a new family, it just holds no interest for me at this point.  
I suggested you might be having a bad day because your posts are quite out of proportion to anything I said to you.  You might look at the posts again if you have a chance.. If not, that's fine too..

Hope you have a good evening.

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Yet More Passive-Aggressive Behavior..., posted by Oscar on Jan 7, 2003

The simple facts are that you have no idea the person or persons I had in mind when I made my comment.

For you to jump to the conclusion that they were about you is presumptuous, arrogant - and WRONG - but totally in keeping with your character.

For you to then claim that I am having a "bad day" is just - well - laughable - as you have no basis whatsover for that comment. Aside, of course, from your warped self-aggrandized perspective that suggest the world revolves around and is singularly-focused on you.

My comments were not, and are not, "out of proportion" - except in the eyes of one who is so self-absorbed.

- Dan

[Oscar]

... in response to Not "Out of Proportion" At All..., posted by Dan on Jan 8, 2003

Ok, glad you got all that out of your system..  On to other things..

[KenC]

... in response to Re: Yet More Passive-Aggressive Behavior..., posted by Oscar on Jan 7, 2003

n/t

[Oscar]

... in response to too busy to keep posting? LOL then stop ..., posted by KenC on Jan 7, 2003

Nope, not too busy to post, too busy to get into the crap, that's all.  I would think you would applaud that but whatever..