High expectations

[Haroshij]

It strikes me that you guys are  very dissatisfied with American women. Most of them are   very fat, wasteful and spoilt. (Have I got it right?). So what are you seeking in Russia and Ukraine? I've noticed that some of you are writing that your Russian wife is gorgeous, look like a model and is very slim. I  can imagine that those of you who are still searching are reading this and thinking: "Oh, I want this also".

However, if and then you get that gorgeous lady over to you, what have you told her to get her there? Maybe you have promised her gold and green forests, or a life in a rose garden? To this you can add all the expectations people from Russia have to a life in America. She has a lot of expectations and you have the same. You want a lady that everybody will envy you, but she should look only at you. She should be loving and not use your money and she should be  very thankful to you who saved her from misery and brought her to America.

The standard of living in Russia is improving, and the middle-class is growing. For instance my wife made more than 1000 dollars a month net. That is a lot of money in Russia where everything was much cheaper than in the west. Her standard of living has improved in Norway, but I took her away from her family and friends and it takes hard work and time to get a new career and new friends.

My point is that there is not only scammer women, but also scammer men. If your best card is the fact that you are living in America, what will happen when she discovers that America is not what she believed and you have told her and that you are not either like she believed. Maybe she will feel that you have scammed her? You will also be very disappointed. You have invested a lot of money and didn't get the profit you were expecting. How realistic are you in your search?

Haroshij

[MarkInTx]

... in response to High expectations, posted by Haroshij on Dec 31, 2002

"If your best card is the fact that you are living in America..."

Is a problem for other reasons...

After you marry... SHE will live in America, too. If she came to be with you because she could live in America, then that goal is realized quickly... why not move on to new and better goals?

One thing I have heard as a constant from many of the men on here who are in happy marriages (and is true in my case) is that their wives would PREFER NOT living here.

If I told Victoria that I had a good job in Kiev, and we had to move there, she would be so happy that I could barely keep her off of the ceiling!

She has learned to like many things about America, but that has come slowly. She's not here for the privilege of living in the U. S. of A.... believe me...

She told me that after the first week here, she was wishing that somehow we could move to Ukraine. Everything here was such a shock for her. But she tells me that now it is much better.

For instance... she has decided that she likes the supermarket (it used to intimidate her) and she is even getting used to the fact that Americans drive everywhere. (Though she still insists that we park as far from the stores as possible so she can get a little walking in...)

[Horoshij]

... in response to Not only that, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 1, 2003

Why is it like that? That the ladies don't like to live in America? Why are they dissappointed with the American way of life? Maybe you have lost something in your society? Maybe even if Russia is poorer it's a warmer society?

I don't know. I only ask.

Haroshij

[Pordzhik]

... in response to Re: Not only that, posted by Horoshij on Jan 1, 2003

That's what my wife misses most about Kiev, that feeling that they are all in the same situation (what else should I expect from a lady from a communist society?).

What she dislikes most about life here in Gt. Britain is the snobbishness of people (mostly women). The crowded roads and the lack of decent public transport (she hates learning to drive). She was surprised at the lack of family ties here, that I don't even know what my cousines look like and I see my siblings maybe twice a year.

She loves the beautiful Kent countryside, the fact that we are so close to the seaside and so near to Londons West End, being able to see history all around (she was amazed that people actually live in 500 year old houses). She delights in being able to visit the places in Surrey and Kent that inspired the writers of Winnie the Pooh and Alice in Wonderland.

She is impressed by our free health service, that she don't see armed policemen on every corner, the helpfulness of public officials that you don't have to bribe. She was surprised to see flowers everywhere.

She hasn't yet moaned about the rain and fog, she only says it's better it's not snowing or minus 10.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to warmer society, posted by Pordzhik on Jan 1, 2003

Interesting...

When my father asked Victoria what has surprised her most about life in America, she says she is shocked that I never lock my doors... neither my car doors, nor my house. My father explained to her that this is not really an American thing, it is a Mark thing.

When I asked her what her favorite thing about America is, she says that she loves the way we shop. To buy a bra, she told me, used to take her three hours. She had to walk to the marketplace, and then walk through many small stores to find the right size or style. Here, we can drive to a department store, and she has unlimited choices.

The amount of choices she has in the stores here amaze her. (Bed, Bath and Beyond blew her mind... we haven't even been to Victoria's Secret yet... I can hardly wait!)

She told me that she never enjoyed cooking before because she had to come up with new ways of cooking the same food (because her ingrediants were so limited.) I bought her a cookbook, and she can leaf through it, and pick anything she wants, and we can go to one store and buy all that she needs -- no matter what the season is. She tells me that she is learning to love cooking now, because it is so new and interesting...

And, of course, the idea of hot water is something that she is only now getting used to. Also, the idea of wearing something different every day. When she first came here, she was amazed that I had a washer and a dryer in my house. Now, she tells me, she sees why. But she loves it.

Last night, I finally convinced her to try the hot tub. That was funny... when I was emailnig her, and I tried to explain to her that I was building the deck so we could use our hot tub. She wanted to know if our bathroom was outside!

We laughed about that last night as she soaked in the tub with me and stared up at the stars. It was 40 degrees out. She was sure she was going to freeze. But after five minutes inside the tub, she understood.

So... there are many things that she loves about her life here.

But, she misses her father, and her friends terribly. Email helps. But it is not the same thing as being there.

[ChrisNJ]

... in response to Re: warmer society, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 1, 2003

You haven't taken her to Vikas Secret Yet!!!  What the HE11 is wrong with you?!!!!LOL.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Re: warmer society, posted by ChrisNJ on Jan 2, 2003

We both have this really bad habit of liking her in lingerie. It's dangerous to go to a lingerie store with a sexy woman who loves to wear it, and a man who loves to see her in it...

I need to save up again before we go there.

However, she is on Frederick's of Hollywood's mailing list ;-)

We went to a dance club last week. Ohmigod! She was amazing. I never liked going dancing before. But with her... its MUCH different.

She tells me I dance really well. (I don't!) She says that a man is not supposed to move like a woman. He is simply to go on the dance floor with her, and let her do the REAL dancing.

Works for me!

[Stevo]

... in response to It's like this, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 2, 2003

dance around me like a tree.  Actually, she prefers to have me sit at a table and just watch her dance.  This is MY kinda' dancing!

[Zoidberg]

... in response to My wife basically likes to..., posted by Stevo on Jan 2, 2003

n/t

[Horoshij]

... in response to I hope I find a wife like both of yours!..., posted by Zoidberg on Jan 2, 2003

n/t

[Zoidberg]

... in response to You want two of them? ;-) n/t, posted by Horoshij on Jan 3, 2003

n/t

[MarkInTx]

... in response to I hope I find a wife like both of yours!..., posted by Zoidberg on Jan 2, 2003

It's worth the search... it really is...

I'm having the time of my life. The downside has been smaller and the upside has been larger than I could have dreamed...

Really... she's amazing...

[Zoidberg]

... in response to I hope you do too!, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 2, 2003

I am glad it is working so well for you. One of the reasons I am doing this is the chance for the upside you are talking about. Little things that makes these women special if you find the right one. I met a Ukrainian woman 9 years ago. She came here and I went there. We never did marry but I still remember some of the really special moments. The past 8 years I have dated many AW by joining groups, online ads, speed dating... You name it and I tried it but I never met anyone that had the upside that this woman had 9 years ago. So I am at it again.

And now I have to find a woman that has the same attitude as yours about dancing! I think that will be my first question when I call on Sunday!!!! LOL!

Z

[MarkInTx]

... in response to My wife basically likes to..., posted by Stevo on Jan 2, 2003

The only problem with me staying at the table is that I can't see her as well... which is why I get out on the dancefloor with her :-)

[ChrisNJ]

... in response to It's like this, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 2, 2003

Your wife ROCKS!!...So...Does she have a sister? lol.