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Author Topic: Differences Between Sucesses and Failures...  (Read 6198 times)
RickM
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« on: December 19, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

Is having some knowledge about what you are venturing into before you plan on taking a chance on marrying a Russian Lady or any other nationality for that matter.First you need to know "yourself" and then you need to "try" and learn a little about what makes a RW tick.For example look at what most average American people perceive this whole MOB process as to be.I personally don't feel it is possible to "BUY" a bride.Some things are universal and I think that as in any new relationship anywhere...You are going to have to win over the heart of your future bride...That will require some chemistry that is far beyond our human capabilities and will require a little trust to destiny and the plans it has for us already if we are willing to pay attention to it's cues and coincidences.For starters,look at the differences right from the very beginning as to how this whole MOB business is conceived... They call them MARRAIGE AGENCIES in Russia and in countrys like America they call them WEB DATING SITES...
The Difference...Huh NONE...In fact,USA probably has a much higher rate of internet marraige occurrences that any other country because of the amount of people that have pc's and access to them right in their homes and work places etc...

RW all have their own unique cultures.There are many different ethnic cultures and values all through-out Russia and it's former parts.My RW wife's dad is Armenian and her mom is Ukranien and the grandma is Polish etc.One VERY interesting and what I consider to be "a very valuable distinction" to my wife apart from the many other RW I met before deciding to bring a lady here to USA as my potential future wife on a K-1 (to see if SHE would not be intimidated by living here and leaving everything she knew behind her) was that she was born and lived in Bishkek,Kyrgyzstan (central Asia) where the Asian "strong family traditions" were interwoven along with all the other Russian ethnical values which to ME were,I found in many ways "untainted and un-spoiled" by western commercialism and standards.Living out "there" myself  for over 1 month and meeting several RW and their families along the way both in Russia and in central Asia  made it very clear to me that it was not all about money specifically that a RW would consider venturing into a unknown world for but rather more for about the oppertunity to have and raise a family in an enviroment where the children would not be subjected to such high rates of poverty,starvation,alcoholism and drug addiction as well as weakened economies and how they apply to health standards ect...It's difficult to imagine what a Golden Cow looks like if you've never seen one or conversely...RW know about USA probably just about as much as we know about Russia...PRACTICALLY NOTHING UNTIL YOU ARRIVE THERE PERSONALLY...

1)These ladies don't ONLY look exclusively to live in USA.Many are willing (if they think they have the right man) to go just about anywhere in the world where they think they can have pretty good odds of raising a sucessful family life that will not be so subjected to such high odds of failure that currently exist in their own countries right now...

2)Two years later in "OUR" marraige...My wife knows only ONE THING ALL SUMMED UP...She feels like she met the man she was "supposed" to spend her life with and that somehow...As the days go by...We continue to have with-out much struggle, a roof over our heads,clothes, food, diapers for the baby,a car and truck,washer and dryer to do clothes,largescreen tv,pc at home,cable tv, and many other modern trivials that she never knew existed before...AND...For all this happiness of hers she breaks her arse daily in appreciation by working around the house and caring for our new 1 year old son and she continues studying language courses and trying to learn how to safely drive an automobile in our crazy culture (with road rage and cars whizzing by 100mph) and meet any other new challenges that come her way just about daily.She wants to do whatever will contribute to make our family stronger and happier.She is not "locked-up and chained" here to the home and blind to the better and worse surroundings that are around us.She very simply is happy and "proud" with her family and very grateful for all the nice things she now has in her life that she never knew existed before.Since here,she has met other MOB's,some that were sucessful,and some that were not,Russian people living here in America both born and transplanted,Russian/Jewish Refugees and many other nationalities that live here in America and all with-out any impact on her own personal beliefs and opinions or identity...SHEET...I often wonder if I was her if I would have had the BOLLS to blow dodge like she did  and leave all I knew behind me all in name of hopes for a better chance at FAMILY-LIFE....

3)MY SUMMARY FWIW...I know "nothing" in life has any guarantees...One thing I DO know now is that many,many American people (including myself) have the terrible disease of "NOTHING IS ENOUGH FOR HAPPINESS" and it "taints and ruins" the mind as it applys to the feelings of fulfillment.I've had my share of previous failures and cut my losses in order to move on because I BELIEVED it was possible to find and have a happy married life.I am capable of living alone...been there and done it also for more years than I care to admit.I went through many relationships with AW in my life here that were "tainted" with that mentality before I decided to try a relationship with a RW...NOW...EVERYTHING is "better than before" to my wife and she doesn't complain about ANYTHING...None of this need a bigger or better house or better job or better car and clothes complaining....That doesn't EQUATE in my wife's mentality...What equates to her is that she has a family now where she feels she can trust her man and has good communication with him with feelings as an equal and that she feels she is with someone that she knows loves her and is willing to stop any time in a given day to help her with anything that she may find frustrating or difficult as she continues to "adapt" to this new culture and life that she moved to.MOST IMPORTANT TO HER...She now has that "family" that she always dreamed about to have and it is growing Physically,Emotionally and Spiritually daily...

AS FOR ME...I suppose I "hit the lottery"...I am one very happy man and I hope and pray to live 100 yrs. old to enjoy this happiness I never knew existed before...Can it all go away and turn worse...Huh...Like in any healthy relationship...It requires work,good communication,desire and healthy emotions...NEITHER OF US DRAGGED OUR PASTS INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP WHEN IT STARTED...I'm certain that if I started staying out all night drinking,druggng,gambling or chasing around young pretty bangees that my wife would find her "enough is enough level" the same as any other human being.THIS IS NOT A GAME FOR THE "UN-SETTLED IN LIFE" Type Of  PEOPLE...

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Scaught
Guest
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Differences Between Sucesses and Failur..., posted by RickM on Dec 19, 2002

n/t
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WmGo
Guest
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Differences Between Sucesses and Failur..., posted by RickM on Dec 19, 2002

You did your homework.
You were patient and persistent.
And Fate smiled on you.

You're a good man Rick.

Best wishes!

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Griffin
Guest
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Differences Between Sucesses and Failur..., posted by RickM on Dec 19, 2002


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yoe
Guest
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Differences Between Sucesses and Failur..., posted by RickM on Dec 19, 2002

My wife could leave me anyday! this is true. She is in her 30's so she is a little more mature. But I can honestly say of the 'loves' I have had in my life, If I take the one thing in each woman that i was attracted to and put it into one person-that would be my wife. But she also has some of the bad things.............go figure!
So is life
Joe
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tim360z
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« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Differences Between Sucesses and Failur..., posted by RickM on Dec 19, 2002

Thanks for your post.
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