" On the lighter side "

[LP]

... in response to I always say..........Sleep with dogs yo..., posted by yoe on Dec 17, 2002

...simply poking at me Yoey, because you do these women I speak of a great disservice.

Every one of them comes to me randomly, I have never been to a social nor used an agency. From day one I have used personal ads, back before it was fashionable to do so. I've always specified a certain level of English and computer access at home. That and a few I met on ICQ, where those attributes were automatically taken care off.

Every one of these women are nice people. *If* they lived here and *if* I could develop a realtion with them at my pace without the INS breathing down my back, every one of them would have potential. I'm not saying they're malicious, I'm only telling you what they tell me after I've established a non MOB relationship with them. To imply they are of a lessor quality than say, your wife, is inaccurate. Espeacilly since you don't know them. These women are not stupid, you know that. I hear certain things over and over again from them. It's up to the readers here to decide if they're a representative sample, an accurate cross section. (There are 14 of them btw, ages 25 to 42, unknown to each other and spread from Moscow to Odessa.) These are running relationships, some with more frequent contact than others.

Generally speaking:

1) They're priotity is to get out. They're selective and want to find a decent man but the priority is to leave the life they now live. They all hope the marriage will succeed but know that getting out is the main hurdle. They all have connections here (moslty in Brighton Beach) and know getting here comes first. But they all *do* hope for a loving relationship as the bonus.

2) They're amazed how easily A/M can be manipulated. That doesn't mean they do it maliciously, it only means they're surprised at how easy it is to do. Most do not do it maliciously, at least these ones. But they sure know who's in control. I repeat: These women are not stupid.

3)The younger ones I deal with (under 30, a minority btw) seem far more willing to "bend ther rules" if needed. I see a more malicious nature from them than I do the older ones with children.

4) Emotional as they are, every one of them tells me that they do not love the man they're dealing with, yet inflate their feelings so as to gain an advantage. They're fully aware that this "love" must be cultivated. They're also fully aware that it's not real love and in fact, couldn't be at that point. (They seem to be smarter than the men in this respect.) These are not the things a girl will tell her perspective mate. But they will tell theirr girlfriends and someone like me who's no longer involved. It helps some that I gently steer them toward the subject on occasion.

They are decent enough people, I've little doubt of it. But there is no doubt they're running the show in their repspective relationships with men abroad and they know it. FSU chicks have the market cornered when it comes to the POB and they know it. None of this means they're evil, only smart.  Everyone of these women want the same but know if they don't get it, at least they'll be in a better position to try again.

So give them a break, I have an advantage with them you never had when courting your wife. She could have been playing you the same tune for all you know, it just worked out for you both in the end. After all, there are good examples of the breed other than your squeeze. In fact, it could be argued that her compatability with, and tolerance of, your personality alters that equation somewhat. ;-)

[Globetrotter]

... in response to I hope you're..., posted by LP on Dec 17, 2002

A very good post, and certainly a reality check.  All the more reason to protect your assets as well as your ass as best you can.  I would bet that success rates with these girls is at best 50/50, just like at home.

Funny, I think a year or so ago you would have been called troll troll troll for saying anything negative about the girls and or the process.

I think for all the work involved from training, mothering,
consoling, trips to INS etc., and costs involved, one needs to think ahead of what she may feel at different times.  Especially during the first 2 years, and what you'll do about it when it happens.  And, plan on being better than the best!

[don1]

... in response to I hope you're..., posted by LP on Dec 17, 2002


Although you're making some generalizations , there's still a lot of truth in what you're saying here....thanks for the 'reality check' ...some of us need that every once in a while ...  ;-)

[yoe]

... in response to I hope you're..., posted by LP on Dec 17, 2002

[This message has been edited by yoe]

uh huh!
Now what part of this am I not suppose to give the infamous "LOL".
I could not blame my wife for me being so dam insecure thatI run off to some country that I cannot even speak the language and marry some girl that I have known less that the girl at the check out counter at Walmart! Come on give me a break!

hey we know what is up. If it does not kill ya it makes ya stronger-or hurts like hel!.
If a guy doe not have enough brains to know the obvious-what can you do. I always tell people my wife is a Mail Order Bride and she came COD! 90 day return policy.
Most guys have some insecure notion and make up some elaborate story of how -they did not meet online or it was just chance or whatver else 'GOD' has given them. In the immortal words of Britney Spears, "You may think I am sent from heaven above-I'm not that innocent".
Is that real enough for yas...............
I still love ya Dog!
Joe

[LP]

... in response to other than the lies and manipulation, th..., posted by yoe on Dec 17, 2002

...Ok Yoey. I'd respond but I can't make heads or tails outta half of that post. Honestly. Some of it seems to make sense but as usual, coherency is not one of your strong points. But I still love ya back!

[yoe]

... in response to Uh...., posted by LP on Dec 17, 2002

[This message has been edited by yoe]

basically,
1.I was saying that it is obvious that a man will not be able to go to a foreign country and find a soul mate in one week.
2. Many say their love is from God I quoted Britney Spears in jest
3. My wife came over with the understanding that we are separate people living individual lives together
4. My wife can go any time she wants
5. People get what they deserve
6. MatMav is a real idiot
hows that?
Hey Mat that special recognition is no costs-but anytime you want to meet puzz just email me-you know my number but your little wimpy self stays incognito-I am not suprised. Flame on coward!
Joe

[LP]

... in response to you must be getting the Matmavewateronth..., posted by yoe on Dec 17, 2002

1) Not so obvious, some of these guys do it all the time.
2) My love is strickly from Britney, God ain't half as hot.
3) Sorry, don't buy that for a minute.
4) See number three above.
5) Nope, I know many who deserve much better. And some *much* worse.
6) Ahhhh...Kinda touchy ain't cha?

Have a good one. ;-)

[MtMav]

... in response to Uh...., posted by LP on Dec 17, 2002

N/T

[Jack]

... in response to Re: " On the lighter side ", posted by Watcher on Dec 16, 2002

Hello Watcher, I appreciate your kind words and the nature of your post.

What can I say? You are correct in much of what you say!

I guess at this time in my life I really don't care what some people think about me. I provide an honest and sincere service which many people benefit from. Having such a business on the Internet, I live in a glass house and people like cow claire, drew baby, max, spyke (and each of the many different names they use), have thrown many stones at me hoping to crack or shatter my glass house. If you never cheat people, are honest, sincere and up-front, then your glass house is going to always with stand the rocks and stones being thrown. I know when I stand-up and speak out against the likes of scum such as Leo (you remember Leo don't you Watcher?), the rantings and ravings of drew baby, mad max, stephen sprinkler, aka spyke, MarkH, etc that I am going to create waves. I could be mild and meek Watcher and say nothing, and it sounds like this is what you are recommending, but it's just not me.

I realize that I will lose some business because I do not mind speaking out, as I have said before, calling a spade a spade, but in reality I have gotten quite a bit of business from the slander of cow claire, drew baby and the likes as the have led  many people to my site to see what was going on and once there many guys get the feel for what I am all about and I end up doing things for them. So I figure I lose a little, gain a little Watcher, and it all evens out in the end.

Watcher, I am blessed today that I have a lot of business. Very few men in the world do what I do every day or see what I have seen everyday over the last almost nine years. I am proud to know I am one of the best in the world at what do. And I still enjoy it as much as ever, maybe even more. I have the business I have today because of the results I produce, plain and simple.

I certainly respect your opinion and your right to do business with whomever you like. As for me, I don't see me changing much about myself. I know I can sometimes be silly, and I don't have a problem with it, I like to smile and laugh and make those around me laugh. I know I can sometimes be un-professional because of my stance of guys who will stand-up several good ladies who were expecting to see them. I know I lose 20 or 30 customers each year because I refuse to help old men who want to meet young girls. I know I lose some 15 to 25 customers each year because I feel they are not serious and only looking for a sex trip. I lose about 3 to 4 potential customers on each of my group tours because I make sure they understand as part of my group tours are they will honor there committment to meet ladies that they have invited to parties or set dates with, even if they think they have found there dreambride. If you can't agree to such, don't sign up to go with me. Watcher, I know I cannot please everyone and stopped trying to a long time ago.

Your three trips to Russia and experience with this one woman over the last two years has made you more knowledgeable and probably a bit harder. Experience, education, has a way of hardening us. I would be willing to bet you will do quite well for yourself.

Hey! I hear there is a sharp looking, soon to be divorced, tatooed Russian lady named Natalia here in the states who is looking for an American husband!

[thesearch]

... in response to " On the lighter side ", posted by Jack on Dec 16, 2002

Jack,

The one thing that confuses me is why anyone would be so obsessed with other people's business. My goodness, life is so busy, I would not have time for such as my own life is so demanding timewise.

She wrote to me and told me that her father did not marry a FSU lady as you mentioned. She said that her experience is with a "friend" and how he has been taken. Of course that is a mute point.

Jack, there is no doubt that there are a great variety of men who have ventured to the MOB venue. These men range everywhere from inept men, with no social skills, outcasts in her thinking (she portrays us all to be in this category) to men that are successful in all areas of life and have women locally dying to get their attention but, they have simply decided to look elsewhere.  

Her target is that man who fails at home and seeks a solution in the FSU. Does not everyone deserve happiness? Would she prefer that such a man remain without companionship? Yes some of these relationships will fail - it is inevitable. But, for her to attack is not helping anyone.

I wrote back to her and suggested that she put her bent up energy in this issue to doing some research and finding out how successful these marriages are. Per public record laws, I would guess that data can be pulled from the INS. She never responded. She just prefers to call us all losers. So what if I am a loser. So what if I am at the other end of the spectrum. What difference does it make? It isn't going to buy her lunch.

[yoe]

... in response to Re: " On the lighter side ", posted by thesearch on Dec 16, 2002

loser-one who sits in forums with no personal gain other that distraction, hostility and woe!
Winner-one who makes error and keeps on trying
Joe

[thesearch]

... in response to loser defined.., posted by yoe on Dec 16, 2002

I agree.

People who succeed learn from their mistakes, mistakes are blessings as they teach you, winners realize this and embrace failure and  pick themselves up and simply do it different. They never stop until they arrive at intended destination.

Losers, tend to inflict self doubt at failure and thus do not learn.

[MtMav]

... in response to " On the lighter side ", posted by Jack on Dec 16, 2002

N/T

[yoe]

... in response to Thanks for sharing, Jack. "Oh, bles..., posted by MtMav on Dec 16, 2002

tag..............