Just got back from the INS

[John LV]

You guys were right, and so was Natasha, the INS is not going to do anything about this whatsoever, even though I filed a form to withdraw my I-30 petition, she will still be allowed to stay here in this country.

I don't care what Jack says, I don't care about any of these guys success with these RW, I have learned my lesson.

The only guy on this board with real insight onto what is going on is LP, he is very smart, and he understands this situation very well. I always thought he was just some loser who was jealous of other guys finding a nice RW, but now I know he had the truth, he understood how these RW really are.

I agree with him when he says that these FSU slavic girls just don't know how to tell the truth, and they are the best actresses in the world, knowing how to play and con any man they want.

The woman INS officer told me, "you would not believe how often this happens, here in Vegas it's truly shocking!"

I believe her, the truth is not being told, and although it's certainly possible to find a quality girl in the FSU, it would be far easier to do so right here in the good ole USA.

I'm sorry, but in my opinion this pursuit is simply not worth it, and I feel sorry for all the guys who believe that this is the answer to all their dreams, because chances are it won't be.

Sure its great to hear success stories, but what about all the failures? The fact of the matter is you don't know the person until you live together for awhile, people should live together for 1-2 years before getting married, and people need to date for months to know if they may have any future together. Going over to Russia for a week or two and deciding on a wife is absurd, and setup in advance for failure.

But I have little doubt nobody will listen to me, just as I listened to nobody else, we all need to learn our own lessons for ourselves, and that is one of our own downfalls if you ask me.

LP, I wish I would have listen to you long ago, and I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

I would never ever in a million years go through this process ever again, no more communist girls for me ever again, for Russia truly is the evil empire, it's not just propaganda.

David

[Travis]

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

David,

Sorry for all you have been through. But as some others here have pointed out, you are luckier than you know. Many have had it MUCH worse. Some not as bad, such as myself (though my expeirience hasn't been a cake-walk). As I have said, I went through/am currently going through something simular. I cannot go into details at this time as it is not yet complete. I will at a later date because I hope noone else makes the same mistakes I made and I also want to let people know the resolution...I think it is fairly unique. I will for now offer some advice, and I ask those searching to consider this. It sounds rather simple. The advice is this: Use the advice provided on this board; by those that have been down this road. Though I could bore all on this board with all the things my wife did, I did make some major mistakes myself. Namely, though I read this board for some time, I did not heed warnings by expeirenced people. My first and biggest mistake. I did not take enough time to learn enough about my (at that time) future wife. That is noone's fault but my own. I had warning signs which I chose to ignore. I thought I was a good enough judge of character. I was wrong! Russian woman are not all bad! That is a FACT. They are like anyone else out there; there are good and bad. I won't ever consider going through this again, but I also would not discourage someone else from doing so. All I would say is be cautious. And follow the advice of your preedicesors (sp). Don't assume you are a great judge of character and can determine who they are after two weeks. Don't ignore things that slap you in the face, literally and figuratively!

One thing I do not understand entirely. I very much believe that a person can disguise their true character and intentions for only so long. I think it is next to impossible to keep up a facade for a long duration. I filed for divorce from my wife after 61 days of marriage because she could not keep up the facade. But you went for 1.5 years of marriage and even then was considering taking her back (against the advice of people here). Why so long? Noone can act that good for so long. Either you chose to ignore what was happening, or she simply grew weary of you. Either way, you bear some fault. I apologize for being so blunt. Maybe it is because Love is Blind...it has been for me!!!

[Oscar]

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Did you know David, that the incidence of divorce is actually higher among couples who live together before they are married?

[John LV]

... in response to Re: Just got back from the INS, posted by Oscar on Dec 18, 2002

Yes I do believe I've heard that statistic, but to be honest it's hard to believe based upon experience.

Unless you live together, you wouldn't know your potential spouse keeps a stash of forks and spoons and a cup for easy access under the bed. Nor would you know she won't clean anything in the apartment because cleaning would be a slaves work.

Actually I guess it was her mom doing all the cleaning throughout her life, look at what her mom created, a spoiled rotten little girl, makes sense now.

Natasha would seldom tell me anything about her mom, but one time she did mention that her mom was an economist, and another time she stated in reference to the conversation that her mom did that, (clean mafia money).

Her mom always seemed to have money, Natasha said she made about 1000 per month in Moscow, but I suspect it may have been much more.

I don't think her mom is such a nice person either, maybe I'm completely wrong here, maybe I'm looking for cospiracies where none exist, that's why I hate this, I cannot figure it out, this whole Russian thing and Russian language makes it very difficult to figure out and understand the truth.

All I do know is her mom is coming tomorrow to see Natasha and her new boyfriend, how lovely.

David

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Re: Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

You see, this is why I always suggest that men meet their prospective bride's families and spend LOTS of time with them, asking LOTS of questions, find out how THEY really feel about her.  Then you do the same thing with her friends.  You are trying to find out (hopefully in a pleasant rather than a gestapo way!) what kind of person they see her as because they are the ones who have known her all her life.
My fiance's family and friends were very honest with me after they got to know me a little bit.  I would ask them "so tell me some stories about her, what do you see as her best qualities?  What qualities of hers drive you nuts"!

I think that any guy who is planning on bringing a woman here without spending some significant time with her family and friends is missing out on a lot of info that can be very important.  If a woman does not want you to meet her faily or friends, that is a major warning flag to me.

I was lucky because my girl has a very close knit loving family with parents who have been married for 30 years.  I met all of them, plus her aunts and uncles and cousins, then many of her friends..  She had never been in an agency, which I personally liked (although there are many good girls in agencies) because they can have a tendency to get learn some bad habits in some agencies in my opinion.

[Mike]

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Dave,
dude ya got burned and now you're directing this pain and
hate on a new topic/arena and that's not doing yourself any good.

Hey, I got a good RW at home, and I know it was pure luck,
went there for pleasure anyways and came out meeting a
sweety. I've met many RW sense getting marriage and dude a
lot of the things you've said are true, but you're
stepping on some peoples dreams and it's not exactly a
perfect description of this whole FSU marriage deal.

Some guys like to gamble in life, some guys win and some
guys lose. At least they can find a seat at the black jack
table in the FSU and as you know it's very hard to get in
the game here for some guys let alone hit the jack pot.

Dude I'm no stud but I've been with every kind of AW there
is, Models, pagent winners, lawyers, to launndry mat
attendents, and they also have some BIG problems, or else
I would have been married to an AW before going abroad.
The thing is if you can't tell a fake/fu@ked up women from
a sweety shortly after meeting then the odds are against you.

You can stay here, go abroad, it doesn't matter all women
have faults but I recommend playing the odds where there
are more ladies to pick from.

The worst thing that can come from repeating this search
is getting ya a new lady every year or two! --- just
protect your ass-n-assets!

Mike

[John LV]

... in response to Now Now Dave, posted by Mike on Dec 18, 2002

Mike, you have a good point I suppose, AW are messed up too for the most part, or else I too would be married to one. But the fact remains that Natasha was the worst girl I've ever been with by a 100 times, easily.

I have no doubt I could find a nice RW, but my problem with all of this is how it has to be done. If only the INS would allow a 6 month window for marriage once they got here? And if the INS would speed up the process a little, 3 months total should be the norm from start to finish.

But it takes so long, its so expensive, and on top of all that, its very risky in my opinion. What bothers me the most is how good of an Actress Natasha was, how good of a liar she was, horrible of a person she was yet I didn't know it.

I don't like that, because I've had many girlfriends, I went out with a lot of girls, but none of them were ever like Natasha, carrying on elaborate huge lies and games, manipulating, deceiving on a grand scale.

No AW I've ever been with ever did that to me, or ever betrayed me like Natasha has. I still cannot believe it, how she lied all up till the last day, pretending and lying like she did, and to call the police and make a false report about me abusing her, all to get me arrested.

After all I did for her? After everything I put up with for so long? It's absolutely unbelievable to me, never could I have imagined this girl could ever be this way.

That's why I'm investigating moving to the FSU somewhere, I need to date a girl, get to know her, live with her for awhile, only then could I ever know if we were good for each other.

I'm not that hard to please, but messing up the whole house, never helping to do anything ever, never cleaning, never helping to pay bills, never working full time, being lazy all the time, drinking Jack Daniels straight, just isn't the type of girl I'm looking for, and I didn't know these things until she got here and were got married.

Imagine if our countries situation were in reverse. This is where Russian men have lots of money relative to AM, and AW don't want to live poor, so they want to contact RM to escape the poverty of the USA.

Now let me ask you, what type of woman would be first in line to get a RM? Gold diggers right? Just imagine the type of girls in your mind that would be the first and most aggressive to finding a RM who could give them so much more than an AM could.

You would have a lot of shady woman trying to exploit the situation as best they could, and those woman may overshadow a real girl who is just looking for a nice guy, intrigued by America perhaps.

Do you know that most woman is Russia love Russia, they have no plans of leaving Russia, and believe that Russia is the best country in the world, and that RM are the best men in the world?

Only a few girls relatively speaking are looking for a foriegn husband, and guess what type of girls many of them are? Gold Diggers.

You have a nice RW, that is great, you are very lucky, does she have any friends? I'm kidding, but I can only wish I could be as lucky as you. Maybe in the future.

Take care Mike.

David

[TomTx]

... in response to Re: Now Now Dave, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

David, I have read your story, and I have watch people give you advice for weeks now, the problem is not your Natasha, it was you dude. It was you not standing up for yourself. So before you go and screw up other peoples minds, and there plans, why don’t you stop posting for awhile, give it a break. You and your negative approach are not helping you or anybody.
I think I read that every relationship you have been in has ended the same way, hasn’t the light turned on in your head yet. You are meant to be beaten by every woman that you come in contact with. Maybe you’re gay, and you haven’t come out of the closet yet. Because your sure not a real man, there are many ways to project power without raising your voice, but you have to come out from under the rug to do it.

Question: How many times can you beat a dog with a stick until he runs away? Answer: 1, a smart dog leaves very quickly and doesn’t turn back.

Tom

[John LV]

... in response to Re: Re: Now Now Dave, posted by TomTx on Dec 18, 2002

Well, I don't believe what you say about me is true, I was a good husband to Natasha, she is the one who wasn't a good wife, and I'm guilty of being nice to her and sticking with her when I was very unhappy with her, I just never thought after doing all the things I've done for her she would take off on me, betray our marriage, and leave me with all the bills, no money in our account, take my car, and make a false report to the police.

No my friend, you don't know me or our situation, you're wrong I'm afraid. But I would love to see how you would have handled Natasha, that would be good for a laugh or two.

David

[TomTx]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Now Now Dave, posted by John LV on Dec 19, 2002

You have one thing right, is you did let her take advantage of you. This what seperates the men from the boys. I could tell you real easy what I would have done, because I been there.
I would have given her a choice, either help or get out, 2nd I have learned not to think with emotion and see the situation for what it is. If you would have told her from the very beginning, either help makes this work, show commitment, or get out NOW, she might have changed her tune, but you didn't, you did not stick by what you told her, so in her eyes you are not a man.
Love sometimes has to be tough, and you wimped out, she kept beating you, and you let her. Your fault dude.
When you try to think with emotion, you never see the situation correctly, this is why people from outside can see better, they see reality, and you could not.

Move on, and learn, but don't inflict your opinion on others, it's not right, and your not right, you are wasting disk space.
TOM

[Mike]

... in response to Re: Now Now Dave, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

You can bring one here for 180 days and they can go back without receiving a ban from re-entry. If you plan to bring one here tell her first you want to get married after living together for a length of time. You should know before then anyways. Also if she is here and isn't suppose to be you can still marry her, I know one RW that came here through mexico and got married and went back and they did the I-130 spouse visa.

Mike

[Jack]

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

A man goes out and buys a new BMW, he wrecks it the next week. Now all BMW's are bad, to be avoided! A man goes to Pizza Hut, get's a pizza, eat's it and becomes sick. Now all Pizza Hut's are bad, to be avoided! Basketball player buys new pair of Nikes. That evening he breaks his ankle playing ball. Now all Nikes are bad, to be avoided! Stupid twerp snoddy nose punk marries Russian scammer, Russian woman he hardly knew, never meets a real sincere Russian woman, get's his ass scammed really good despite repeated attempts of caution, to move slow, now all Russian women are bad, to be avoided. The claims some people make.

David, you got what was coming to you. If you were to go about the pursuit for a Russian bride in a more efficient manner you would probably do much better but in your case I will advise against it. I do not think you should waste any more of your time seeking a Communist bride. I think you will find much love and happiness in an American woman. Good-by and good luck.

[BrianN]

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Dec 18, 2002

Jack's got it 100% correct.

[BarryM]

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Dec 18, 2002

I got food poisoning from "James Coney Island". I'll never eat there again. Even the thought of eating a hot dog makes me want to vomit.

-blm

[Globetrotter]

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Dec 18, 2002

Jack....that's our boy in a nutshell. (or nutcase)  If it's sex he's interested, he should slam it in a car door...if it's long enough.