... in response to not to start trouble...bout sex..., posted by Frank O on Oct 12, 2002Everyone has a different opinion of this, obviously.
My opinion is that if you have courted via mail for months, and you are going to see just one lady... it is a different situation than a guy going over and lining up thirty dates in five days.
My woman fell in love with me through our letters. If you read my long trip report, I went into this. (And many other details I probably shouldn't have considering some guys inability to deal with this topic -- which is why I never posted the second trip report...)
She "knew" I was the one for her before we even met. She was amused by my insistence that we try not to get our hopes up, because there might not be a "spark" between us.
She thought that was really funny. She knew already that there was no chance of that happening.
If you are honestly thinking of marrying this woman... (Putting aside for a moment if that is a wise thing to do...) And you have been writing for months, and calling, and are feeling emotionally attached... then how is that different from dating someone here for months?
Or even weeks?
I know guys in America who have a "three date" rule. I have always thought that was silly... but I know guys who follow it. If they aren't laid within three dates, they move on.
I also know guys who believe in total abstinence before marriage.
I would say that both of these philosophies and beliefs could be carried over to dating a girl from Russia. Why not? If you believe in abstinence here... you should believe in abstinence there. If you expect intimacy after a few dates here, then you should expect it there.
In general, Europe is more free about these things... not more repressed. In Kiev, there is nudity on broadcast television, and nude magazines sold in complete open right next to the candy for the kids on the street.
My (limited) experience with Russiam women and Ukrainian women is that they are no more prudish than their American counterparts.
I don't agree with the philosophy that a dinner includes a roll in the hay afterwards. I think that's a line of BS perpetrated by those guys who want to justify a personal sex tour.
But I do think that a Russian woman who is attracted to you will act upon it as quickly as an America woman. With maybe one exception and that is that I think they expect the man to make the first move. If you wait for a sign, you may be waiting a very long time. I also don't think they would want to have the matter discussed.
But, remember, there is no such thing as a Russian Woman Archtype. Everyone is different.
If you're thinking that these women are all "Ladies in the parlor, and whores in the bedroom" then you will be disappointed. They are as varied and different as American Women.
But (unless I was just lucky) they are certainly not prudes. They want as much romance as any woman, but the women I met have no problem with being passionate with a man they care about.
I will say just one more thing... anecdotally... NONE of the Russian Women (or Ukrainian women) wanted any kind of PDA (Public Displays of Affection.) Behind closed doors was a different matter. But the women I was with expected to be treated like a lady in public.
If you want to take this discussion off-line, email me... I don't have answers, but I can give you one point of view...
