... in response to Matching American with Pina, posted by SteveB on Feb 26, 2002it applies to most women, in my opinion. If they decide that your character is weak, then many will walk all over you. That is why many times I blame the MAN for creating a gold-digger. Some men are insecure about their desireability, and therefore they think they need to pay, in one way or another, for a womans affection.
Most Filipinas are raised in a male dominated household, and if they view a man as weak they will not respect him.
That is why I encourage men to lead, not follow. Of course a couple should discuss important issues. But, if it comes down to one or the other making the final decision, then I believe the man should lead.
This is also a reason that I say that if a man cannot have a healthy relationship with an American woman, he will probably never have a healthy relationship with a Filipina. A man should not choose a Filipina because he does not like American women. He should choose a Filipina because he does like her country and culture.
A good example of a man leading in the Philippines is that it is always expected that the man plan the dates.
Vilma was actually disappointed with me on our first date because I did not know Cebu, and I asked her recommendation for a good place to go.
If a guy does the "I don't know, what do you want to do", then he will probably lose points with a Filipina.
Also, Filipinas are raised to be thrifty, if a man throws money around, then you will LOSE respect with a Filipina.
They know you have more money, there is no need to show it off. That is another common Filipino trait, they do not like braggerts, it is much better to be modest. . From reading this board I knew to be strict with money before I ever went to the Philippines.
That is what I have done from the beginning of my relationship with Vilma, and guess what, we have very few discussions about money. Also, Vilma explained my attitude to her family, and they call me thrifty, but the subject of money very rarely comes up. Also, if a guy sends a dollar or two to his penpal to pay for postage, that is okay. But if you are sending money, and you have never met in person, please stop doing that right now!
My dos pesos,
Don
