Some morning joy.

[kevin]

Just a quick update about happenings.  I called Joy this morning and we talked for a little while.  It's too early to tell what might yet become of this, but I think I'll be calling her more often.  I think we need to learn more about each other as well as exchange more photos.  It's nice that she has a phone because it can make communication more consistent.  If I get serious with her, I'll have to get on the best possible calling budget.  My 600 minute AT&T Sam's Club card which I bought for about $23 is good for 75 minutes in the Philippines.

She said it's windy in Cebu, and she'd watched the movie "Halloween".  We do have difficulty understanding each other's English.  We were both actually about to get ready for work.  She works the 10-2 shift at Saturn Electronics, and i try to be at work at 9:00 AM.

Well, I try not to let Lagarda bring down my hopes and spirits.  By the grace of God and his mercy, all of us will find what we want and need so long as the intentions are good.

- Kevin

[Jeff S]

... in response to Some morning joy., posted by kevin on Feb 28, 2002

That's great news, Kevin. Not understanding each other's language isn't necessarily a bad thing. You'll get there. Early in my relationship with my non-English speaking wife we had lots of misunderstandings but persisted. Serious discussions and even arguments were conducted with each of us flipping through dictionaries to try to get our points across. This acted to slow down the whole process and to defuse much emotion making these discussions far less bitter than they would have been had we both been fluent in one of our two langiages.

-- Jeff S.

[Humabdos]

... in response to Some morning joy., posted by kevin on Feb 28, 2002

Is saturn electronics on Mactan ?

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Some morning joy., posted by Humabdos on Feb 28, 2002

Yes it is.

- Kevin

[Humabdos]

... in response to Re: Re: Some morning joy., posted by kevin on Mar 1, 2002

Did Carl and velma hook you up with her? Humabdos

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Some morning joy., posted by Humabdos on Mar 1, 2002

Yes.  Joy is a best friend of Vemila from Saturn Electronics.  I was originnally introduced to her in November 2000.  We exchanged a couple of e-mails, but then I never heard from her again.  At the same time, I was introduced to Analyn and then got serious with Analyn.

Well, I think you probably know the story about Analyn.  It was a counterfeit courtship right from Day 1.  The truth of the matter is that she had a regular, pinoy boyfriend while she was corresponding with me and telling me that she loved me.  About a year ago, I introduced her to friends on e-mail.  Well, she told one that she loved her boyfriend but had to make a choice.  She was hoping that I could "give her the good life" in America.  As time passed, some friends tried to throw hints that Analyn was not right for me and that I should move on, but they were afraid to tell me what they knew.  At the same time, I kept in touch with Vemila and Carl, and they thought from what Analyn said to them, that she really truly loved me.  although Iglisia ni Cristo could have been an issue, I now know it's irrelevant as to why the relationship could have no merit.  As time passed on, the writing was really on the wall about the real Analyn.  Remember, talk is cheap.  I send her resources to support our correspondence, including money and disposable cameras.  I even sent her a nice 35 mm camera with a package of film as a birthday gift in October.  Yet, I did not receive ANY new pictures of her since March 2001.  There were too many long gaps between e-mails and unanswered questions.  By December 2001, I realized I had better move on for my own good.  With Analyn it was either dead-end, or the tributaries of Heartbreak and Bankruptcy Rivers.

After I ended it with Analyn, my friends told me the truth of what they knew.  I have peace of mind that 1) I did not sell my future down the river, and 2) that there's no need to fee3l one ayota of guilt or remorse that I just might have broken her heart by ending it.

I keep in touch with Carl & Vemila.  I like them both, and I really hope it is a real, valid, loving relationship.  Time will reveal the true credibility of the relationship.  Vemila said she did not know Analyn that well, and perhaps she changed.  Anyways, I asked about other friends.  For one thing, I was kept up-to-date about the wherabouts of Joy.  Joy does not have a boyfriend.  Vemila told me that I should call Joy and that she likes surprises.

I don't know at this point where things will lead with Joy.  But so far, Joy seems to be a very nice girl.  I think it's best to get to know her among other pen-pals or pinays-in-person until I feel I'm ready to be serious with somebody.  As for writing and e-mailing, I'm kind of busy for that because of school, but if there is somebody that I feel is worth my while, I will correspond.  I prefer to be introduced by somebody that knows somebody (and knows about the person) rather than rely on commercial pen-pal agencies.  The Lagarda rhetoric really has me discouraged, but my heartfelt hopes are to find and know love someday regardless of the method that our paths might cross.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a Filipino birthday party.  I'd really be delighted if I meet somebody there whom I like who would be interested in courtship with me.  Well, maybe I'll meet somebody who knows somebody, even if it originates with correspondence.

- Kevin

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Some morning joy., posted by kevin on Mar 1, 2002

Kevin,

You probably don’t want to hear this, but I think it’s important that you do and nobody else seems willing to say it. Please consider this as constructive criticism and not flames.

After this last post of yours and several recent ones, I think you have a big problem in your relationships with the opposite sex. I don’t consider myself an expert on the subject, but there are some things that I have learned over the years that I will share with you.

It is considered rude and ungentlemanly to trash a lady’s reputation in public, especially when she doesn’t even have the means to defend herself. I don’t know Analyn except from what you have posted here, but I don’t think she deserves the treatment that you are inflicting upon her on this forum. Remember that hundreds of thousands of people from all over the world read your messages here. You have posted Analyn’s name, her place of employment, and even her photograph here for the entire world to see. Then you disparaged her character and that of her family, and even her religious beliefs. You have as much as called her a liar, a cheat, a gold digger, a green card shark, etc., in front of the whole world. Now I ask you, is that something that a gentleman would do? I think not. Irregardless of what you think this woman has done to you, please be a gentleman and keep it to yourself. I think you have trashed her enough on this board and others, but I can see that you are not ever going to let this die. You will be back here again and again to blame this woman for your failed relationship just as you continue to do with your ex-wife.

Now just what exactly did Analyn do deserve al this spiteful hate-speech? Her brother asked for a cell phone and she didn’t disown him? You sent her a camera and she didn’t send you any pictures? She went too long without writing to you? She worships in the wrong religion? Her friends called you a cheapskate? She encourages you in your studies because you will be able to make more money someday. That doesn’t exactly sound like an evil criminal to me.

You say she probably thought you could give her a chance at a better life. Is that so terrible? You say you want a beautiful young woman for your wife and she has hope for a better life with you-sounds like a reasonable starting point to build a relationship on to me. Your accusations that she never loved you and that she had a regular boy friend are based on second-hand gossip. The fact of the matter is most likely that you don’t know any of this for sure, yet you present it here as the truth and blab it to the world. Were you officially engaged to her? Did she have a ring and a date? Have you even met her in person? So, is it fair to expect that she devote her life to you in the hope that someday you might even go to visit her? Is it reasonable that she should put her life on hold and wait years for you to make up your mind about her? Did she owe you her undying love and fidelity based on your correspondence? Be reasonable. If you were seriously interested in her and wanted a deeper commitment, you would have been on a plane long ago. I think you expected too much from her but were unwilling to make any commitment yourself. You expected her to wait forever until you decided if you were truly interested. Sounds rather selfish from here.

You claimed that you loved this woman, but all I hear in your recent posts is hatred. You claim that you have already “moved on”, but you keep bringing this stuff up again and again. If you have truly “moved on”, then you will be able to wish this woman well in her future life and stop dwelling on the past and speculating on what her true motives were. For whatever reason, it didn’t work out, simple as that.

My advice, for what it’s worth: leave this woman in peace and get on with your life. And for your new friend in Cebu, please respect her enough to leave the details of her personal life out of your discussions here before someone else gets hurt.

Just my $.02,

Ray

[Humabdos]

... in response to Free Advice, posted by Ray on Mar 1, 2002

n/t

[kevin]

... in response to Free Advice, posted by Ray on Mar 1, 2002


I read this post more carefully.  I shall try to keep my cool.  Perhaps I overreacted because of past posts before.

Anyways, you're talking about gentlemanly ways and trashing people.  In no way did I intend to trash anybody.  I just tried to say things matter-of-factly based on my experience, observations and evidence.  Short of having had a private investigator, there remains the very slight possibility I was mistaken.

I think this was a learning experience for me in my trail of life as I continue to navigate towards a place called love.  At some point, I realized I was on the wrong course and had to change directions.  If anything, I feel that i deserve to be commended for seeing things as they probably 99% were, rather than persuing this thing blindly.  From time-to-time as I read these boards, I see guys jumping into things blindly and rationalizing why this or that happens.  Personally (pardon me if this might be construed as gossip), I see somebody on Mag-Anak who has visa-related problems.  Personally I think there is something deeper in the picture than what he wants to believe, but her rationalizes every action and event.  Alot of posters have tried to open his eyes, but I think he's in the state of denial.  But the saying goes is that "Where there is smoke, there is fire."  If there is smoke without fire, it means that a fire is in the making (like the burning rubber on a short circuited wire).

I don't know what else to say at the moment.

- Kevin

[Ray]

... in response to I cooled off., posted by kevin on Mar 1, 2002

So you really feel that you deserve to be commended? Commended for what Kevin?

I don’t think you have learned a thing from this last experience. I suspect that you will keep making the same mistakes over and over and you will keep blaming the poor woman for all of your failures. I don't think that you are capable of having a loving relationship until you stop and take a deep look at yourself.

The really sad part of this all is that you will probably ruin another woman’s life while you continue to live in denial. This is just my opinion, but I think that anyone who tries to set you up with a friend or relative is just plain crazy.

Ray (the jerk, cruel spirited, sick, full of s**t, demeaning crab know-it-all). Gee, did I miss anything?

[Dave H]

... in response to I Don't Think So, posted by Ray on Mar 2, 2002

Hey Ray,

I think you left out "Guano Eating Bat Humper." Whoops, sorry! I think that was from the Spelunker Forum. ;o))

Dave H.

[kevin]

... in response to I Don't Think So, posted by Ray on Mar 2, 2002

Ray,
you can say what you want to say or think what you want to think about me.  I know who I am and what I want out of life.  You are a sick  bas*ar*!  I did not say or do anything to solicit your cruel, off-color remarks.  Then you accuse me of being bad to poor, innocent women.

Seeing that you're so pompous and righteous, take a good look at yourself.  You seem to take pleasure at putting words in my mouth and assaulting my character.
Oh, what you've accusded me of doing, you're doing to me.  But in your eyes, I know I'm subhuman.

Ray, I've basically been upbeat until you come and attack me.  Attack me for what?  I used to like you.  I even thought you were funny.  Yet I could never feel comfortable around you for fear that I might say the wrong thing.  But no matter what, you'll always find something, an excuse, to attack me.  The more I've learned about you and your true colors, the more the reason I have to dislike you.

I'll say it again.  I started an upbeat post.  Humabdos asks me a question.  I tell him things that happened.  Then you come and start attacking me.  You tell me that I'm no good, etc.  You try to tell me that I don't have a place in any woman's heart.  Ray, I'm at my wit's end!  Perhaps it's time for you to look elsewhere to find a cat toy.  I've had enough, and I hope I wear you out.

- Kevin

[Ray]

... in response to Re: I Don't Think So, posted by kevin on Mar 2, 2002

Oh, don’t be so dramatic Kevin. You hope you “wear me out”? You can’t stand any criticism yet you are allowed to repeatedly trash some woman’s reputation on this forum and nobody better dare say anything or you’ll go berserk and call them names until you “wear them out”?

O.K. Kevin, you go right ahead and call me all the names you can think of. But if I think that you’re wrong then I’ll say so. You may silence others with your tactic of trying to “wear them out” with name calling when they disagree with you, but I’ll still be here.

What you consider an upbeat post may be just another insulting attack to others. Your view of the world isn’t the only one out there Kevin, so don’t take every differing opinion as a personal attack. It only makes you look silly. I think you should stand back and take a good look at who is really making personal attacks here. Please read your responses again and then tell us that I am the one “attacking” you.

Ray

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: I Don't Think So, posted by Ray on Mar 2, 2002

How can you say that I'm repeated trying to trash somebody's reputation?  The paradox is that it sure looks like you're trying to trash mine.

When I say something, I stand by what I beleive in.  I speak what I've witnessed or experienced.  Your heart is filled with malice and contempt.  You see me as a puppet to try to intimidate and make feel dumbfounded.  Even when I'm down, you are not going to kick the vigor and hope out of me.

By the way, Crab, I have not said anything negative about relationships in a long time.  But it seems from time-to-time you try to slip in a condescending remark about me.

So I started an upbeat string.  I expressed myself.  Humabdos asks me a question.  I gave him a matter-of-fact answer.  It was a real experience and I think if I share it with others, I can help prevent other's from this particular negative angle regarding the correspondence route.  It was an embarrassment for me.  Why should I even give a hoot about her reputation, by saying what I went through.  I'm the one that was fooled.  Smirk, Ray, smirk!  Smile until your heart is content.  You love every piece of my shortcomings so you can polish your own ego.

Who started this war?  You did!  What did I ever do to you to deserve this kind of treatment from you?  Nothing!  I try to get along with everybody, but you have put my back up against the wall.  In you're eyes, no matter what I say or do, however positive it might be, you'll try to put me down.

Sit on your high horse and glorify your righteous self!

- Kevin

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I Don't Think So, posted by kevin on Mar 2, 2002

Well Kevin, I guess you just answered your own question.

“Why should I even give a hoot about her reputation…”. You just made my original point. It’s easy for you to come on this forum and say anything you like about this young lady when she isn’t here to defend herself. You can ruin her reputation on the Internet and SHE is the one that has to live with the damage you have done, not YOU. This isn’t about YOU Kevin, it’s about the people you hurt with your hateful remarks.

Let me ask you this: how long do you intend to continue making negative remarks about this lady? Is it your intention to make sure that the whole world knows about the evil Analyn, so that she will never again be able to “make a fool” of someone else? Why can’t you just drop it? Humbados didn’t ask you about your ex-girlfriend, but you saw another opportunity to throw a few more stones. You say that you are over it and moving on? It sure doesn’t look that way to me. Why can’t you let it drop? Haven’t you said enough about her already?

And what’s this garbage about starting a war Kevin? I believe that YOU are the one who started the personal attacks with your foul language and petty insults. If you think that you can draw me into some kind of name-calling “war” with your insults, forget it. I don’t think that you are capable of a rational discussion about how your negative comments might effect the lives of another person. All you can see is someone attacking YOU. You think it’s always about YOU. You seem to believe that you are allowed to attack anyone here with any kind of filthy language you choose to use, but someone else better not dare to question anything that Kevin says. Sounds very one-sided to me.

Now you can continue to attack this lady’s reputation if it makes you feel better. But you can also be sure that you will hear from me. So, it’s up to you Kevin. Do want a rational debate, or do you just want to sling more mud? Your choice…

Ray