urgent help needed

[Macsooner]

Hello all,

I have been a lurker for many years. I am posting now because I need help. I have been married to a pinay for 10 years now. Our marriage has been a bad one for some time now. We had snow here yesterday so my wife was eating snow ice-cream. No problem there, but then she wanted my 10 year old to eat with her. He was not interested, so she tried to force him to eat. That is when I could take no more. I told her he would not eat with her. This seemed to be the last straw for her. She came unglued and i guess this marriage is finally over.

Now I need a big time divorce lawyer. I live in Southeastern Oklahoma, so if anyone knows a great lawyer in this area please let me know.

This is only a small example of my wifes behaviour. I could go on for hours with the pain she has caused me. My pain is not important, but my son shouldn't have to go through this anymore.

All help is appreciated.

James

[Bob S.]

... in response to urgent help needed, posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

Let's clarify something.  The child is 10 yrs old; you've been married for 10 yrs.  Is the child her's?  If so, expect the custody battle to be a blood bath.  In court, you are automatically presumed to be a lowlife deadbeat scum unless you can prove otherwise.  Has she physically harmed the child (not just sent him to his room)?  If so, do you have proof? (medical reports)  Can you prove you tried to go to counselling and she refused to attend?  In court, it'll be the word of a scummy evil deadbeat controlling man against a poor manipulated lost little girl.  If you have receipts from a counsellor you saw that she refused to go see, save them.  If not, make an appointment tomorrow, invite her to go along, and go anyway even if she refuses.  Do not fight with her, do not argue, don't provoke, don't telegraph your moves.  But if she does attack, scratch, hit, or anything, go to the local hospital, get records of her violent behavior if she does indeed have a temper.  Don't worry that you'll look like a wuss walking into an emergency room for a scratch (you oughtta get a tetinus shot anyway, right?).  Think about the case you're gonna need to build and present in court if she decides to put up a fight for custody and alimony.

Who knows?  Perhaps if you actually make an appointment for marriage counselling and go by yourself, she may insist on going with you next time.  That wouldn't be a bad thing, eh?

[Mars]

... in response to Preparing for the end, posted by Bob S. on Mar 4, 2002

What he said......

[Lori]

... in response to urgent help needed, posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

Montey Hightower...he's a great divorce lawyer.

[Bear]

... in response to urgent help needed, posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

...taking charge.  Filipinas didn't grow up with wimps so if you act like one they will take advantage.  They need the prsessure of their families and society to help them regulate their actions.  Lay down the law and mean it.  Then at a more quiet time tell her how much she has meant to you over the years but you have to correct her "stinkin' thinkin'".

Might be too late?

Just an opinion fellas.

Bear

[Macsooner]

... in response to Have you tried..., posted by Bear on Mar 3, 2002

Thanks Bear. I think you are right. Although I don't consider myself a wimp. I have deferred many things to her for the sake of harmony. She has always been the type that had to have her way. You are also right about the too late part I think.

[Mars]

... in response to Re: Have you tried..., posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

I don't think it has anything to do with you acting like a wimp James. I don't think there is anything wrong with you. She sounds like another nut case to me. Don't waste your time getting counseling, trying to act macho, getting religion or doing or saying anything that somehow might suggest that it was your behavior that drove her to act like she does. She was like that before you met her and probably will be like that until she dies. Heck...she probably is just beginning to to bloom. My advice, like the advice I gave Howard last year, .....Get out of there and fast. You don't deserve to live in hell like that. No one does. and oh!...don't forget to get custody of your son. Good Luck and Godspeed in regain gyour peace of mind.

[Humabdos]

... in response to urgent help needed, posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

I can help you with an attorney but was woundering where and how you met her. What are your ages? Was she always like this?

Humabdos (Divorced one year ago from pinay)

[Macsooner]

... in response to Re: urgent help needed, posted by Humabdos on Mar 3, 2002

Humabdos hello. We met through Cherry Blossoms in 1989. I am 47 and she is 37. The first years of our marriage were good. Then her niece was killed in the PI. She was shot by her father accidently. She had a very close relationship with her niece. Although i don't think it was as close as she claims. You know she once told me her niece was her best friend. I could never understand how a woman of 27 could have a seven year old best friend. She has seemed bitter and distant since then. For the last two years there has been very little communication. Mostly all I get is **** you. I come from a divorced family and I didn't want my son to suffer from one. But it's hard to see how he can suffer any more than now. She has always been a very selfish woman. Even her family can't get along with her well.

[Mars]

... in response to Re: Re: urgent help needed, posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

No sense in trying to understand a woman like that. Escape with your son...He will be way better off.

[greg]

... in response to urgent help needed, posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

How about counseling to save your marriage? Ten years is a long time. Can you share your story with us? Having fun eating the snow shouldn't be something of a last straw toward Divorcing, some people eat dirt. greg

[Macsooner]

... in response to Re: urgent help needed, posted by greg on Mar 3, 2002

Greg Thanks for the reply. I have asked her many times to be counseled. She just will not go. Yes ten years is a long time, but it has been a wasted ten years for me. I wanted to have more children, but who would have more kids with a woman who mistreats them? I agree also that it was a petty thing. Do you think a kid should be punished because he didn't want to eat snow? As for our story it's a very long one and i'm not up to giving it just now. I understand how to eat dirt I just don't want my son to be subjected to that.

[Mars]

... in response to Re: Re: urgent help needed, posted by Macsooner on Mar 3, 2002

Your head is on straight James...Forget the couseling and dump the moron before she physically damages you or more importantly, your son.