What do you guys think....

[Mars]

....about this article? Madmal..your input would be most welcome.

      http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/vietnam/62130

[madmal]

... in response to What do you guys think...., posted by Mars on Feb 17, 2002

Hi Mars,
What she says is true, but I don't think she understands the concept of filial piety,(hieu), and moral debt,(on).
She sees them as bad things. And in our society the concept of arranged marriages is anathema. The sense of individual freedom and choosing who you spend the rest (hopefully) of your life with should be your choice, right?
It is only 70 years since the Vietnamese started questioning these traditional concepts. And over this century the pendulum has swung back and forth several times. Most recently with the fall of the south the pendulum swung towards the old ways. Afterall, the communists wanted to portray themselves as the super-family. Obeying your family (conservatism) was something to be encouraged.
Make no mistake that the pendulum is now swinging the other way (towards liberalism) there.
Yes, Vietnamese people who migrated to USA ,Australia, Canada often hold very tightly to their traditions.
They see our "anything goes" western ways  as very destructive. I don't blame them for wanting to instil some of the respect that they remember growing up with, into their children.
I know many Vietnamese families here in Australia, and I really respect the way that they have brought up their children. They show respect to all adults and are well behaved.
The Sydney experience of Vietnamese Heroin addicts is not the norm here. It is a media beat-up. Yes there are some very disillusioned young kids in the Vietnamese community. But I think you'll find that in all recent migrants trying to find their place in a largely xenophobic society.

mal

[yc]

... in response to What do you guys think...., posted by Mars on Feb 17, 2002

Hello Mars,

That is a very interesting article.  In reading it, I am reminded of a
documentary I saw several years ago on PBS.  The documentary was about an
AW who fell in love with, relocated to and married a Japanese man.  The
documentary was done from her point of view.  Basically it entailed how
she adjusted to the difference between American and Japanese culture,
family structure, morals, values, way of doing things, husband and wife
relations.  By the end of the documentary she expressed respect
and appreciation for her husband culture and life.  To be more
specifically she said that, that way of life was her now.  I think the
same can be applied here as well.