Trip Report - long

[Ryan]

... in response to Expensive Tastes, posted by MarkInTx on May 20, 2002

I don’t know about all that... he talked about not communicating correctly...
 If he was walking by a store that he a big screen flat T.V. advertised and she said Oh I want this… Then that would be different than if she had a T.V. all picked out and all the details thought out etc.  Remember they are feeling us out just as much as we are feeling them out…  It is a process that from my limited experience I think you have to go threw.  Doesn’t mean she is a scammer right off but also not in your best interest either, screwed up game here we all have chosen to play……

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by Ryan on May 20, 2002


Only Richard can answer this.

But in his post, he said: "She wanted me to buy her things: Like a flat screen TV and expensive jewlry"

That doesn't sound to me lik esomeone who made a comment that she liked something in a store window. That sounds to me like someone who said: "I like that. Buy it for me..."

[Richard]

... in response to Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by MarkInTx on May 20, 2002

This part is not a misunderstanding.  

When I visited her last October, her family has only a black and white TV.  When I changed money in Hrivna, we did so in an electronics store because of the exchange rate.  I saw her looking at the TVs, and asked if she wanted one. (Stupid me.)  A few days later she suggests getting one and takes me to another store.  She points to flat screen TV (don't remember the size; prices starting around 5000 UAH or 1000USD). I am shocked and start looking around.  She next asks for a VCR.  I tell her I thought she wanted a TV. She wants both. When I try to do some comparison-shopping, she gets upset and we leave.

As to the jewelry: we are in and out of jewelry stores looking.  The next to last night I'm in town she takes me back to one store and tells me she wants earrings to match her engagement ring.  She selects a pair that cost over 1500 UAH or 300 USD

Additional background:

After my initial offer to buy a TV, I had dinner with her family at her place.  Instead of one black and white TV, they have two color TVs and a VCR.  When I finally get around to asking her about this, she tells me that they had to take the color TVs and the VCR and to the village house and bring the black and white TV to the apartment they live in every day.  (This is one of the things she told me that I couldn’t believe no matter how much I want to believe her. Unfortunately, I did want to believe her.)

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by Richard on May 20, 2002

I'm going to raise my eyebrows and say!

"YOU HAVE A TV SET!!!"  

Then I would say "I wish I had one, but I am on a limited budget and besides, I work so much when would I find the time to watch it."

After that I would say "What is a VCR?"
==
You could bragg to her about your AM radio, it picks up radio stations, but it is broken at the present time and that you are awaiting a special vacum tubes.

[Oatmeal]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by Richard on May 20, 2002

.

[BarryM]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by Richard on May 20, 2002

You left out too much information in your initial post. The red flags are everywhere and I think you should pass on this girl. Simply tell her that her tastes are too expensive for most Americans and you feel that she is not concerned with a good life and future with you but on taking advantage of your generosity. I don't believe she is sincere. You know this. She may have been sincere at one time but she changed her mind. At least she is a lousy actor. Time to move one and start from square one.

-blm

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by Richard on May 20, 2002


I would say that you understand everything quite well...

Sorry it didn't work out for you... I hope you find a better woman next time...

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by MarkInTx on May 20, 2002

From what I gather in the past if you were a standup guy that had goals in life a good job and a level head that if you followed the numbers you could get the woman of your dreams in the FSU.  This is how I saw Richard and it is frustrating to read that he is getting the run around.  I just see that things are changing like so many things that change in the FSU area.  Talking to close woman friends in the Ukraine they are saying that the search for an American is not that big an issue anymore.  The reasons for this varies from too many bad experiences and publicity with Americans to issues relating to 911 to just plain a number of guys write but just never go and visit. The little things that we have all been seeing relating to agencies are all starting to have a negative effect.    Maybe the agencies will start lowering their prices even more or consolidate with each other etc…

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by MarkInTx on May 20, 2002

Point taken, can't wait to hear more on the story.

It is so frustrating to read stuff like this especially from Richard.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Expensive Tastes, posted by Ryan on May 20, 2002

It is especially disheartening since this was his second trip to see this lady.. and it sounds like she did a bit of a 180 between visits...

Hmmmm....

Did she think the fish had taken the bait, so she could reel him in? Are they getting that sophisticated? That's scary...

Or, alternatively... maybe she thought.. he's a good man on the first trip... then before the second, she had other guys write to her... (talked to other girls from the agency...) and now she is comparing him to others, and trying to make sure he is the "best she can get" before agreeing to come over.

That's why I don't like writing to women from agencies... before very long, you find yourself in a contest... and that feels very much like what I can get here in Dallas with the local girls...

[Richard]

... in response to I Agree, posted by MarkInTx on May 20, 2002

Yes, there was a big change between in her personality between the second and third visits.  The woman who ordered reasonable meals – entrée and coffee or dessert and won’t let me buy her lots of presents in October is ordering complete meals (salad, entrée, dessert and coffee), selecting restaurants that cost twice what the ones I pick cost and asking for expensive jewelry and fancy electronics.

The woman who was very affectionate in October was not as affectionate on this trip.  (See my post on our beginnings: I was going to include this in that post, but it grew too long.)

I *want* to believe that this woman is in love with me and asking for these expensive meals, jewelery and electronics because she has beocome really comfortable with my and is now really opening up to me.  However, she said a couple of things to me that just do not allow me to believe this.

[Richard]

... in response to I Agree, posted by MarkInTx on May 20, 2002

I met her through a personal add, not an agency.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: I Agree, posted by Richard on May 20, 2002

That's even scarier...

Is nothing safe???

[thesearch]

... in response to Wow, posted by MarkInTx on May 20, 2002

What is a personal ad? If it is from a place like Absolute.com my experience is that such sites are full of ladies with an agenda.

It is my hunch that the number of scammers is going up with each breath we take. They and agencies that participate in scams are finally having a very bad effect on the MOB scene. I also think that the number of good women who will take the time, money and effort that this venture takes to find a good man is declining with each breath also.

What this means is that the ease of finding a good woman from the FSU is slowly shifting and has been for some time towards the  other end of the spectrum being difficulty and flat out danger.

The effective way to find a good woman from the FSU is changing. Guys like Jack of FirstDream  I suspect are going to survive all of this. I say this because the small tour approach with personal ads prior to one's trip will be the approach that will be somewhat more insulated from all of this. However, if Jack he gets big, I would not count on it.

The best approach but not practical is to go over and live there until you find the lady you want.

[Jack]

... in response to Re: Wow, posted by thesearch on May 20, 2002

search, there are big differences in where to place personal ads and there are probably even bigger mis-conceptions as to the words 'personal ad'.

Personal ads on the Internet are going to yield a lot of scammers and scam agencies, period! I see it everyday.

Personal ads in the local newspapers that run thru the small villiages and the country, in select bigger cities and the surrounding cities to these bigger cities, will yield a much higher percentage of sincere, real women. Even though it is not scam proof and scammers can come from these ads, the percentage of scammers will be less than 8%, and this 8% is nothing more than my own personal opinion.

You are right Greg in that there is an increae in the number and percentage of scammers, and again I will repeat that most guys  only see the tip of the iceberg. This is why it is so important to deal with real, sincere ladies. Real, sincere ladies are not so hard to identify, and the first step is in communicating directly with her. If you cannot deal directly with any woman, move on until you can.

Things, ways, methods of going about this pursuit do change quite rapidly, again, as you mentioned. The smaller, more personailized tours will become much more popular. The large socials are just drawing too many of the wrong type of ladies. And don't worry about me getting too big Greg, by staying small you can still enjoy what you do, when you get big it's more of a job I think and probably not nearly as enjoyable.