Reasons for mail-order dating

[nickp33]

Hi guys,

Look I'm sorry to post on your board with a question like this, but I would really appreciate your opinions.

I'm just interested in the reasons why you have to look abroad in order to find love, specifically through a mail-order system. I mean, we all know that the girls offering themselves up through this system are not looking for love, they see it as a means to escape a life of poverty (and who could blame them?).

I spent a few months travelling in Peru last spring and got to know a local girl quite well (purely as friends). She told me of how she had joined an agency, and how she was willing to sacrifice her dignity in search of a better economic future. Apparantly a lot of girls she knew had done it. It’s possible to argue that some girls simply prefer American men but let’s face it, mail-order brides don’t come from Western Europe, Canada, Australia etc - most of them come from the worlds poorest countries, and are usually the poorest people within them.

My point is, are you really looking for love yourselves, or are you mearly looking for a domestic figure in your life? I was kind of disgusted by one of the posts on the Latin board, where some guy was rating the girls on a Brazilian site in terms of how skimpily-dressed they were. These are human beings! Marriage should be a beautiful, lifelong coming together of two souls who are in love, not (*in my opinion*) an agreement based on necessity. Of course, it is convenient for you both but by failing to look for love with your own eyes, I feel you could be missing out on something very special.

What do you think?

Nick

[Ron Boutwell]

... in response to Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by nickp33 on Feb 10, 2002

Well guys, you have all answered the guy (gal I suspect).  But I suspect Nick was really a girl and also what they call in the USENET newsgroups, a "troll".  Basically "trolls" go into groups like this to drop a little bomb and run like Hell.  They voice their opinions which they always think are enlightening and refreshing then leave and never return to view the responses.  I suspect Nick was just like that.  I also noticed that Nick was "anonymous" in short.  He/She did not want responses.  However, it does not take a genious to find out what Nick's email address was.  All one needs do is right click on Nick's highlighted name and scroll through a little source code to see that Nick's email address is:

nickp33@hotmail.com

So if anyone wants to make sure that Nick actually sees your responses since we were all blessed with his/her enlightened opinions, you should send your responses to the above email address.

[Bob S.]

... in response to Re: Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by Ron Boutwell on Feb 12, 2002

You must be new to this whole "Internet" thingy.  Might I introduce you to a whole beastiary of net denizens from the "Net Warriors Glossary" at http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame1.html

Our dear Nick (Nicole?), if not an Issues Feminist (http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame28.html) was at least a Weenie (http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame6.html).
8-)

~
P.S.  Good posts below on Asian women and religion.  Very insightful.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by nickp33 on Feb 10, 2002


"we all know that the girls offering themselves up through this system are not looking for love, they see it as a means to escape a life of poverty" none of the few dozen MOB couples I know fit into this category. It sure sounds like the whining of a lonely AW who can't get a date to me. Ever met a mail order bride couple? I think not.

"she was willing to sacrifice her dignity in search of a better economic future" Sacrifice her dignity? To marry a sucessful American? Obviously the words of a fat feminist AW who can't get a date.

"but let’s face it, mail-order brides don’t come from Western Europe, Canada, Australia, etc" Of course they do. It's just not published so much. I have a buddy with an Aussie wife, another with a French wife, yet another with a Salvadorian wife who's father owns a major bank there. My own wife is from the country with the second biggest ecnomy in the world and she was from a VERY well to do family. Wrong yet again.

"are you really looking for love yourselves, or are you mearly looking for a domestic figure in your life?" I went looking for love and found it. What about you? More feminazi drivel. A domestic figure? What's that supposed to mean?

You come here and post this nonsense as if it's something all of us have never heard before. Guess what, wrong again.

[Hoda]

... in response to Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by nickp33 on Feb 10, 2002


the same question on all three boards? Trying to get info the easy way, without going through the archives yourself? You blew your cover with the statement below...

"I mean, we all know that the girls offering themselves up through this system are not looking for love, they see it as a means to escape a life of poverty (and who could blame them?).

Pure B.S. by someone who doesn't know or could appreciate the emotional, social or econonmic commitments that many men & women have made from all three forums here over the years.

[Matthew]

... in response to Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by nickp33 on Feb 10, 2002

Nick:"What do you think"**sigh**

tito:I think you are either showing your feminine side or you are a chick.

tito Matt
Married three months
"its all good"

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by nickp33 on Feb 10, 2002

If a man is going overseas for a bride, he would know his reasons already.  This sounds like another feminist studies student to me.  You can waste your time responding to her all you want of course.

[greg]

... in response to Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by nickp33 on Feb 10, 2002

You must be Joking. If You want to settle for an AW and all her baggage, More Power to You. As for myself, I rather try my luck with a Foreigner. )) greg

[Eman]

... in response to Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by nickp33 on Feb 10, 2002

You raise some legitimate questions. I disagree with your premise that the "mail order" route leads to a sort of marriage of convenience, without love. And I don't want to comment on something from the latin board, except to say that it isn't necessarily representative.
 There's no doubt that economics plays an important role in a lot of MOB situations, but that's universal. Even in the most progessive societies, women are still looking for a "successful" man, a breadwinner. This doesn't mean that the resulting relationships are totally mercenary or materialistic. Sure, plenty of these relationships are based on exploitation, or go wrong in any number of ways. But you're talking to members of a society with a 50% divorce rate, so let's not act like the alternative is an easy walk to conjugal bliss. I should add that a lot of guys who pursue this are deeply cynical about American femininity, and feel that American women have become too materialistic, masculinized, and, in a word, corrupt. I think the deepest allure of this for the guys, is the in the prospect of finding real femininity in a woman.

[JephW]

... in response to Re: Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by Eman on Feb 10, 2002

Someone posted everything I feel in a clear concise incredibly logical manner.  I'm so glad he posted before I began my attempt at it.

In a word:

DITTO!

[stefang]

... in response to Re: Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by Eman on Feb 10, 2002

Just read the Febtember posts and you will see why men are going this route. A woman who loves a man for his soul and not his wallet is priceless and practically impossible to find in America. I bet they are one of the happiest couples in America including piggy and bunny and the rest of the family.

[JephW]

... in response to Re: Re: Reasons for mail-order dating, posted by stefang on Feb 10, 2002

Wow, I'm glad I checked this forum today!!