Telephone calls

[MikeG]

Hello,
I have been writing To a filipina in HK for about 8 months.
The past 4 months things have gotten serious and I plan to visit
her in her home place of Bacolod in April. Things are going well
and we talk on the phone 2-3 times a weeks for an hour or more.
We also write to each other once or twice a week. We have gotten
close to each other and have discussed personal issues sometimes to
the point of tears. I told her that things are great 95% of the
time. It is the 5% of the time that things are not so great. I worry if she is for real. We both have said "I love you". Last week she told me she can't believe that I love her. She was laughing at the time, but it still concerns me. Perhaps she is wondering if I am for
real also. I have two concerns. First I make most of the phone calls
to her. I will call her 2-3 times a weeks and she may call me
once a month. I told her she can call and i will call her right back
so it will be on my bill. Secondly, I ask more questions about her than
she asks questions about me. I am a quiet guy so it is great that I can ask her questions and she will talk to me for a few minutes and
add additional information as well. Another thing is it is usually
I who will end the phone call after an hour and a half.
She will only end it if her boss comes back home as we only talk
when her boss is away. I truly enjoy talking to her.
I still have those 2 concerns mentioned above.
Any input?

[donb2222]

... in response to Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 11, 2002

Hi Mike,
  Almost everything you are experiencing is normal for a filipina.
Like the others have mentioned, she simply does not have the funds to call America, and bosses are much stricter in Asia than they are here.
Her laughing while asking you if you really love her is probably just nervous laughter, combined with the fact that many men that have penpals make many promises, and then never fulfill thoses promises.
Most Filipinas are shy, so her reluctance to ask questions is also typical.  You will typically have to ask most of the questions until she is more comfortable with you.
Here is where I am going to be a little blunt:
1)  I don't understand how you can love someone that you have never met.  Do you truly love her?
2)  How much do you know about the Philippines and Filipinas?   Maybe you should wait until you have visited the Philippines before you get so serious.  You will probably experience culture shock, and she may turn out to be totally different from what you have experienced in letters and on the phone.
3) I would definitely recommend that you arrange to meet other Filipinas during your visit.   95% of Filipinas are not online, and you are missing out on thousands of available women by limiting yourself to just one.
When shopping for a house would you buy the very first one that you look at?  Of course not.  A wife is more important than a house ,of course.  But I think it would be silly to fly 10,000 miles and limit yourself to meeting only one person. It sounds like you have an emotional investment with her due to all the conversations that you have had, but please understand that many, many men fly to other countries just to discover that their is no chemistry between them and their penpals.
Hopefully everything will work as you have planned, but please arrange to have several back-up plans before you go.
Also, Filipinas are very romantic, and like for their romances to develop quickly.  Please be the practical one and take you your time and go slowly.  Their is no need to get married or even engaged on your very first trip.

Don

[MikeG]

... in response to Re: Telephone calls, posted by donb2222 on Feb 12, 2002

Thank you all for your input. It is good to find that I am
not alone in the fact that I make most of the phone calls
to her. I was worried that it might be some kind of red flag. That she is not as interested in me as I think she is. Yes is is true that we have said "I love you" but
we have talked about the possibilitiy that there is no
chemistry between us. I told her that I will love her like
a sister and I told her this in a recent letter. Hopefully
things will work, but there is no guarantee.
About visiting multiple girls: I don't want her to get hurt
by the fact that after seeing her for a few days that I will
pick up and go see another woman. What do the Pinays on this
board feel about this? I have a plan B, if things don't
work out that I will have a good vacation.
By the way, I live in Toronto, Canada and we have a
community of about 100,000 Filpinos here and I have some
Filipino friends, so I know something about the culture, but
I have learned so much from this board.

Mike

[greg]

... in response to Re: Re: Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 12, 2002

in Area nearest You? Whats wrong with trying to find a Pinay among that large group? Can You tell us about the Filipinas in Canada? I'm sure it was never posted on this board before. Pray tell, are You that same Mike that recently got married??? No, I guess not. greg

[MikeG]

... in response to 100,000 Filipinos in Community, posted by greg on Feb 13, 2002

Filipinos have been here in the greater Toronto Area where I live since the 1960s or before. The first ones to come worked as nurses or other kind of caregiver and once they got established here, they would sponser their families to come later. Tagalog is the 8th largest language
group here I believe. I have been friendly with some
filipina's here, but nothing has progressed beyond friendship level. Actually one of my friends suggested that
I write her sister back home in the Phils. At the same time
I was browsing through some singles websites to see what was
there. During my web surfing I stumbled across a website
by Filipina Cupid - Jean who has posted here before.
The things she was saying about Filipina's in HK made sense
how they have left home already and have more life experience than someone from the provinces. I also liked
the fact that the postal and telephone system are better
in HK than the Phils. Sometimes my letters take as little
as 3 days to reach her. Her letters coming to me take up
to 12 days. Maybe they scanning for anthrax. ha! ha!
I can call her in HK at 9 cents a minute which is good
because we talk about 3 hours a week or more.
I wrote my friends sister in Phils. and about 12 girls
in HK that I got from a free website (not Jean's)
From the very first letters I knew my girl was special.
I know I told you that we said "I love you", but I
am thinking it as a strong romantic feeling for each other.
Maybe not true love yet.
After all part of this is fantasy and part of this is
reality. Time will tell when we meet in person.
She send me a very nice Valentines day card today with her picture
on the front of the card. Very sweet and personal.

[Febtember]

... in response to Re: 100,000 Filipinos in Community, posted by MikeG on Feb 13, 2002

Hi,
Be always careful in some filipina in HK,some domestic helper were married.According to my cousin which happen to be a mass communacation(reporter)she once go to Hongkong and interview some Filipina working there for her documentary report some have what they call "sideline"sale their flesh for an extra income for they always thought nobody would ever know it.I guess not all but there are few...
Just be extra careful...

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Re: Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 12, 2002

Hi Mike,

If she asks you how many minutes you've been talking or hints about ending the call, it doesn't necessarily mean that she does not want to talk to you. My wife (fiancee then) was always very worried and felt guilty that I was spending too much money on phone calls. I called twice a week and we talked for around an hour. Sometimes she would suggest that I wait until the next week to call her again.

Dave H.

[donb2222]

... in response to Re: Re: Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 12, 2002

Glad to hear that you are looking upon this as an opportunity for a good vacation. That is the best way to go, in my opinion.  The Philippines can be a beautiful country, and can be a lot of fun to visit.
Why don't you ask some of the Filipinos in your city for intros to their relatives in the Philippines?  Most of the Filipinos that I have met are natural-born matchmakers.
Also,  have you tried dating any Filipinas in Toronto?
If not, why not?
My suggestion for a plan:
1)  Go meet your penpal for a nice visit to learn more about her country.
2) Enjoy it as the nice vacation that it is.
3) If things with your penpal don't click, then meet some of the Filipinas suggested by friends in Toronto.
4)Ask members of the board for introductions.  There are many people on this board that can suggest Filipinas for you to meet in almost any area of the Philippines.
5) You will find that you will receive MUCH attention from the ladies in the PI.  Be bold and introduce yourself to any Filipina that smiles at you. That is how I met my wife.
She was working at a department store where I was shopping ;0)

Have Fun,

Don

[MikeG]

... in response to Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 11, 2002

Sorry I didn't mention she was taking her vacation at this
time, she is going back to her job in HK after this.
What about the fact that I do most of the calling as I said in my original post. Any Pinays want to shed light on this
situation?

[greg]

... in response to Re: Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 12, 2002

Pinays mostly are corresponding with Guys on the phone when the Employer not around. Filipina holiday is usually once a week on Sunday. Understand this Mike, she cannot call you whenever she want. The Employer can get upset with her for spending alot of time talking on the Phone. Here we got freedom to do whatever we choose, she don't have that kinda freedom. Soooo your lucky whenever she's able to call You, this usually the case when getting involved with a Pinay working overboard. Don't blame Her, it's easier for her to take your calls than to call out. greg

[Amor Powers]

... in response to Re: Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 12, 2002

Hi Mike,

calling overseas can be pretty expensive so you'll be the one calling her all the time! That's kind of expected if you know what I mean. My fiance and I don't talk on the phone much -- we use yahoo chat or ICQ, don't get me wrong i love hearing his sweet sexy voice but i don't expect him to call me all of the time so I save my money to buy phone cards. Sometimes I would call just to hear his voice and say good night, good morning or whatever. Just cuz he doesn't call me all the time doesn't mean he loves me any less and vice versa

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 12, 2002

Hi Mike,

It cost me over $3.00 a minute to call the US from the Philippines with my ATT calling card. Without it, around $6.00 a minute. Remember that the average Filipina only earns $2-4 dollars a day. I don't know about the rates or salaries in Hong Kong, but suspect that several minutes talking on the telephone to you, could easily eat up a days wages.

Dave H.

[greg]

... in response to Telephone calls, posted by MikeG on Feb 11, 2002

Exactly how my own relationship with my Mahal started. We corresponded for over a year while she was working in Hong Kong, we decided to meet in Philippines when her contract with Employer expired. A few pointers...Do not make any promises of Marriage, etc.. without meeting. Second, Don't get her Pregnant. Third, make sure she doen't have a Piny Hubby sitting around some place. Fourth, have back up Penpals incase things doesn't click. Good luck in your meeting to find and be found by Love and Happiness in RP. ))

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Telephone calls, posted by greg on Feb 11, 2002

:-)

[greg]

... in response to Re: Telephone calls, posted by greg on Feb 11, 2002

You need to know from my experience, that it's risky asking a Filipina to leave her oversea Employment job to meet You in RP. I want you to know that the Filipinas are working abroad to support their families in the Philippines, it cost alot of money for them to get the Jobs working out of RP. Keep in mind, that when she leave her Employment abroad, she's out of a good paying Job, something thats very difficult for her to replace in the Philippines. I understand her wanting to be positive about your true intentions before she leave her place of Employment. If things doesn't click with You, then she stuck in RP with no money to help her family, her family will then be upset with her for losing the Job. Even when a Pinay's Employment contract expire in Hong Kong or wherever she's working, she can find another Employer there. Again, if she leave her oversea Job, and decide to return overseas...she will need lots of money, which I doubt that would be available to Her. I think it's wise that she's being sure about You before she leave HK.     My opinion is that a Guy should do the honorable thing by paying for the Pinay to return to her oversea Job, if things doesn't click.
greg