Be careful for what you wish for......

[Oatmeal]

You may NOT get it.

I have been reading some posts below about requirements for ladies that men are looking for in FSU.

While I agree that it is helpful and also necessary to construct some sort of criteria for a future mate, I think that men here should acknowledge that strange things can happen when you go over to meet ladies there.  

Life is unpredictable and I just get the feeling that many times men will end up struggling with themselves because someone they have a connection with doesn't fall into their criteria in their list.

The truth is that sometimes you need to put your lists aside and take a look at the relationship apart from this list unless it is something that you feel will absolutely not work.

What brought this up is that I have some difficulty with men who are so sure that they cannot accept women who either do or don't have a child.  

How can you men be so sure about such criteria.  I have met a few men who have held the same views until they go over and, sure enough, they end up falling in love with a lady who has a child when they are not looking for this and vice versa.

For example,  when I went to FSU looking for a wife I had an age criteria that she be between 24-30 years old and GUESS WHAT.....

I ended up marrying a lady who was 20 years old.  I had to throw out my list and look at the lady for who she was.

So far so good.

[Zink]

... in response to Be careful for what you wish for......, posted by Oatmeal on Mar 31, 2002

People all have lists of what qualities we like and what we don't like in people. But to pass over a good person because they don't match every criteria is stupid. And in the end it's what our heart says that is most important. All the logic in the world won't help a bit if you find the right girl.

There isn't a single one of us who is perfect. And we shouldn't always punish people for mistakes or problems they may have had in the past. We all have baggage that needs to be dealt with. It's more important to try and understand what the person we are with is really like than to condemn them and leave because their life didn't go smoothly.

[Cinderella]

... in response to Be careful for what you wish for......, posted by Oatmeal on Mar 31, 2002

I agree that anyone (a man or a woman) trying to find a Lifetime Partner should have a list of charachteristics that they prefer... just because it helps to narrow the search (otherwise they can fall for any man/woman who is attractive).  

For example, when I began looking... I wrote a very long list of charachteristics such as (intelligent, honest, reliable, hardworking, clean and such) and then I just crossed out all those that I can live without... and I tried to leave only 4-5 (those that really mattered to me)which I included in my profile.

Personally for me, apperiance does not mean very much... but at the same time a man has to be attractive (I think everyone has their own understanding of what being attractive is).

I also set an age range... but after a while I had to adjust it from 27-35 to 27-37 and right after I did so, I met a wonderful man (37 y.o.) who I now corresponde with (he meets and even exceeds my expectations (well may be my expectations were not very high:-)) and hopefully everything will work out for us.

About the kids.  Since I have a little child myself... at first I wanted someone without any children... (especially those older than 5 y.o.)... but after a while I said to myself that 1 child would be OK (since I really enjoy children).  

What I am trying to say in terms of children though is that I believe that all you have to do is set boundaries of what is acceptable to you and what is not.  But I think that if there is love then children can never be an obsticle.

Congradulations to all that have found their other half...
and good luck to all of you who are still looking...

P.S. Sorry for my English :-)

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Be careful for what you wish for......, posted by Oatmeal on Mar 31, 2002

Of course there are exceptions to the rule.  However, the guy who has a realistic list and sticks to it will in my be happier in the long run.