RW with kids.My opinion

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by juio99 on Mar 31, 2002

I would think if you've already had kids and married a woman with no kids yet, she would probably want at least one kid.  Are you ready for that?  In my case I'm getting older and may not want to raise 2 or 3 kids from scratch and I could take one that's already started to save a little time that way.  I am also unbelievable good with kids and that could make a woman with a child more likely to stay with me rather than a childless woman.  Just how comfortable are you with kids?  It is more expensive to bring 2 people over but I could go either way.  I just notice that a lot of the really attractive women have kids and a lot of them are very serious because men over there don't want women with kids either.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by juio99 on Mar 31, 2002

There is really no right or wrong out there - to each there own.  However, as far as I am concerned you are right on.  Facts are facts.

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by juio99 on Mar 31, 2002

Well JR,  I disagree with all of your assumptions here and I am a therapist that works with families for a living..

Oscar

[Natalya]

... in response to Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by juio99 on Mar 31, 2002

JR, Thanks for reply. I post my opinion on subject RW with child because I've read alot of negative and almost nothing positive from previous posts. It's sort of bothered me.It botheres me as well that you can point blank that "You are wrong in here" .Well may be you think I'm wrong but somebody else will think there are some reasonoble points in what I said. Everything I said in my post is based on my personal experience and can't be wrong at least for me. Of course each case is different and I was blessed to find man who's more like Oscar and Rod. For some reason alot of AM quite negative about RW with children. I hoped that my message can help some of men to look on this subject from different angle.

[RickM]

... in response to Re: Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by Natalya on Mar 31, 2002

Very good topic and very well put Natalya.
I think it takes a mature individual to take on such responsibility.Only one who trully knows firsthand what it means to take care of a family and share in what I call the "gift" of having children around.I had one "before" I met my RW wife and knew first-hand what it meant.
As it turned out,I met and feel in love with my wife but she had never married before or had any children.Since then,we now have an 8 week old baby at home so I already know the kind of mother she would have been had she had children already.A lot can be said about how one parents...

I think you are correct on many things you expressed.Especially about any mother being more mature and not wanting to make a second mistake.
I think many here on the board don't realize at first this isn't only just about dating but that in fact these woman are giving up everything they know,including friends and their families,in order to try and make for a better life for themselves,their children and equally their husband.This "is" their family and "life" once they leave all they know and from what I've seen they put 110% into everything.I'm sure there are small exceptions and ladies who are immature or have a bad attitude.

As in "any" relationship,it's very important to take time and make sure everything gets expressed and understood along the courting process.There are many cultural differences between Americans and Europeans.My wife and I have our share of disagreements and tiffs but we both realize all we've gone through to be together and what life was like for both of us before that happened.

As for RW who have children already,it's up to the individual who wants and is capable of raising a family.Hopefully someone mature and financially capable of it.The reward is a home full of love...
This certainly isn't a date or game...

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by Natalya on Mar 31, 2002

Natalya,

You must remember to ask yourself, "Why is a man here looking for a woman in the FSU"?  Well, some are hopefully doing so because they happen to like the family values many of these women have, they like their attitudes and strength along with their obvious beauty and intellects.  But others look becasue they cannot buy a date in America for many reasons, one certainly being selfishness..  An AM in his late 30's and into his 40's who has never been married, one must ask, why??  Well, now you know! ;-)

Oscar

[HappyInBrazil]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by Oscar on Apr 1, 2002

Wouldn't your post also apply to people that need to degrade others that don't agree with them?  I just thought that was ironic.

[Mike]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: RW with kids.My opinion, posted by HappyInBrazil on Apr 1, 2002

I think there are many types of men out there and each one will be different and can't be judged if his opinion to be or not to be a step-father should be in question. When AM marries a RW he will instantly be making adjustments to his life, not because he is now married but because he is married to a  lady from a different culture and all that goes with that. If you add children to the mix some men can handle this perfectly and some will not, thus the end result could be even worse on the child. My thoughts are forget about your needs and desires, and ask yourself am I willing to take the chance with this childs life and developement for the sake of having a wife and all that you expect from her.
Mike

[HappyInBrazil]

... in response to It depends on the man., posted by Mike on Apr 1, 2002

Hopefully this is the sensible answer that everyone can understand and agree with.