Question for Single Fathers, Jack, Steve M.

[ChipShot]

I'm a divorced sole custodial father, with a question. What has the experience been of others, who are fathers with sole custody of small children, in finding, and partnering with, women from Russia and Ukraine?

Is it more difficult to find women in FSU with children, who wish to find a man to be a husband and father, too? Or, is it easier to find women with kids, who are looking for a good man?

What are the best paths to take to finding women from FSU who fit this profile?

[SteveM]

... in response to Question for  Single Fathers, Jack, Stev..., posted by ChipShot on Jan 1, 2002

Hey Chip,

In my case, being a single father was the reason why we first hooked up.  I had found my now wife in an online chat, and one night asked her to wait for me while I put my son to bed.  After I came back, we settled into some conversation about our real lives, with the added bonus that no one else was on for much of the night.  Helpful hint: if you make sure to talk about really boring stuff when new people wander in, they leave you alone quicker.

Two years later, things seem to have worked out very well for us.  Our sons both enjoy having a brother, and my son's initial "mine, mine" declarations about toys and other stuff in the house haven't been heard for a number of months.

However, I would say that my son was very tough on my wife for at least the first six months.  If she hadn't a child of her own, and experienced the frustrations that come with being a parent before living with my son, I don't know if she would have been willing to stick it out during the toughest period.

Of course, that was my take on dating/being involved with anyone American without children anyway.  It got pointless pretty quick when one of us (i.e., me) had daily responsibilities, while the other could go out to dinner or a movie or a club on any given night, if they could get up for work in the morning.

So, I guess I would say it is easier trying to hook up with someone Russian who has a child/children.  One catch is that the money can be tough.  Often, single parents start out with less in reserve (I certainly did), and if you are picking up new kids in the process, it does take some scratching, planning, and trying to get things done without incurring too many extra financial hits.  I could probably give you a top 10 list of these, but this is running on too long as it is.

About how to go about looking, I wouldn't know what to tell you, since neither my wife or I were looking for anyone--let alone someone from another country--when we found each other.  Both of us are hopeless romantics, and any ideas I have on the subject would probably be cannon fodder for those on this board who have spent more time "hunting" than "nesting".

Good luck and Happy New Year,

Steve M.

[Jack]

... in response to Question for  Single Fathers, Jack, Stev..., posted by ChipShot on Jan 1, 2002

Many of the single ladies without children will warmly accept your child, but she is also going to want her own child with you.

Almost all Russian ladies with a child will warmly accept your child also. You will have the same problem here as you would with an American woman with a child and the difficulties involved with a blended family. Blended families will take a great amount of love and patiance.

There is a percentage of single Russian women without children, I would guess it to be about 30 to 35%, who will seek a man with no children.

[Del]

... in response to Question for  Single Fathers, Jack, Stev..., posted by ChipShot on Jan 1, 2002

ChipShot,
I was (mine are now grown and on their own) also a single custodial father, and my experience indicates that this is a VERY positive factor since most RM have nothing at all to do with their children following a divorce (and in a great many cases do not even provide financial assistance to the custodial mother).
I submit that any woman who will not embrace you AND your son ought to be bypassed.

[MikeC]

... in response to Question for  Single Fathers, Jack, Stev..., posted by ChipShot on Jan 1, 2002

I'm a divorced sole custodial father also, my fiancee didn't
have any problem with it, I don't know if thats the norm or
not for FSU women.